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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

113 replies

Aabbaas · 08/09/2026 15:21

I am so upset with myself for this.
I am 40. Learnt to drive in my home country when I was 18, then moved to London shortly after and never had to drive again. I took some refresher lessons a few years ago but never actually managed to become comfortable on the road. Life, DC, work got in the way and I never prioritised driving. Now I feel I am back to square one. I took a few more lessons recently and I have been doing ok but I am scared of starting to drive our car by myself or, even worse, with DC.
I can’t park well either and this stops me from taking the car to go places.
I fear I have lost my boat and it is so frustrating as driving seems to be one of those very basic and effortless life skill for everyone else.

Anyone in a similar position or if you have overcome this, how?

OP posts:
TwinklyAmberSloth · 09/09/2026 17:55

Aabbaas · 09/09/2026 09:21

I would be fine taking the car for 10 mins around the block but my issue is parking as I don’t have a driveway.

I am not in London currently, live in a residential area nearby so that isn’t an issue. I have learnt to drive in a messy city in the EU so traffic isn’t what scares me, it’s things like big junctions, roundabouts etc. (scared of being in the wrong lane or miss an exit and cause issues)

So just use Google Maps. It helps you with lanes etc... and if you miss a turning or get in the wrong lane then just keep going and it will find another route for you. Getting lost isn't like it used to be!! It's must less stressful!

Last year my mum (in her 70s) started to "learn" to drive again as my dad's health is becoming poor and she realised that if she didn't make herself do it, they'd loose a lot of their independence when he has to stop driving.

What's the issue with parking?

CatVester · 09/09/2026 20:36

I was a terrible parker when I first started driving. I used to literally sweat with fear (I don't even know what I was scared of as the chances of doing something seriously wrong when moving slower than walking speed are pretty minimal).

I used to practice by choosing the smallest possible space in a quiet road, like my own, and taking all the time I needed. I'm an absolutely brilliant parker now.

Absolutely all of it is just practice.

Google maps is a great suggestion, too. It takes all the stress out of getting it wrong and is v helpful with lanes.

CatVester · 09/09/2026 20:39

Oh, and the other great thing about having a map up (even if it's not giving you directions) is that it shows you what is coming up on the road ahead, so no nasty surprises. It will also show traffic so you know if it's busy ahead etc.

Netcurtainnelly · 09/09/2026 20:53

Just wait for your driverless car won't be long. No need to pass a test etc.

Savvysix1984 · 09/09/2026 21:02

My SIL just passed hers at 42.

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 09/09/2026 21:18

I passed at 46 (first test but I had a lot of lessons - it definitely didn’t come naturally

DDivaStar · 09/09/2026 21:50

You need to drive regularly.

I passed at 18 but didnt drive from 20-32. I did a few refreshers but then didn't drive again. Then I bought a car did the refreshers, pushed myself to drive somewhere most days. It soon became second nature. It needs to stop being an event and just be you getting from a-b.

DDivaStar · 09/09/2026 21:55

Oh and Im nervous driving places I dont know. And parking although thats more panic than inability, I hate people watching me park.

But I research routes on google maps and research parking options beforehand.

Bobbieiris · 10/09/2026 08:27

Ahh OP i could have written this myself! I am 36 and in the same boat. I have two young children and planning to try for a third. I know i will NEED to drive but I am terrified!! But looking at all the other comments it looks like we are not alone. Get some lessons booked and im so sure you will get there :)

Original poster
Aabbaas · 10/09/2026 09:19

Thanks everyone, some really encouraging answers! I will get on with it!

OP posts:
Urgentbiscuitrequired · 10/09/2026 10:31

Bookmarking as I'm in a the same boat as a lot of you have been and it's encouraging. I even passed my all the tests first time too! Just never really got into it.

SomeOtherUser · 12/09/2026 08:07

I had a long break in my 30s and took refresher lessons. Worked a treat and now I'm driving happily again.

CoastalCalm · 12/09/2026 08:41

Think my husband was 45/46 when he passed , he’d never really needed to drive as lived in a city with good transport links and didn’t mind using public transport - he loves driving now and is always here and there for work. Go for it

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