AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

Never too late!! My aunt learnt to drive when she was in her 60's!!
Get out there and build up your confidence with an instructor if needs be. They'll help you with the car parking issues and get you through any other issues that you have to do with driving. You know you can drive - you just have to apply your knowledge and get to grips with driving on the correct side of the road. You can do it!!

I'm sure with some practice you'll gain confidence.
MIL was in a similar position, now FIL has unfortunately passed she won't drive anywhere and relies on us being able to take her somewhere if it's not on the bus route.

YABU

You’re never too old!!
But I am definitely not as ballsy as I used to be and having kids increased my anxiety and so it definitely gets harder as you get older.

You just need to get used to it again.

Just do motorway driving for now and roads that you know like the back of your hand.

Have a few lessons with an instructor.

Park as far away as you can (I still park far away in supermarkets to get my steps in and because this is what I did when I first passed my test).

For now, avoid anything you don’t like eg parallel parking and country lanes etc - just focus on getting comfortable again.

Op, as you know yourself there’s only one way to get confident and that’s to get out there. Ten minutes round the block at a quiet time to start? Then a bit longer. Then at a busier time. I vividly remember how stressful it was at first, but you only get better by doing it. It’s so worth it.

Don’t let the parking put you off - I have a class 2 lorry licence and can reverse a lorry with inches to spare. Get in my DD’s tiny Micra and I make a huge mess of parking it… It’s terribly embarrassing and family all think it’s hilarious. But overcome by parking at the back of the car park and walking further! 😂

I passed my test at 29, but had no confidence, had a complete meltdown the following day driving my partner’s car in horrendous traffic and NEVER got behind a wheel again! For the next 20+ years, felt baffled as to how everyone else seemed able to drive effortlessly but I was just terrified to try again. BUT a couple of years ago in my 50s, I decided I wanted to move out of a city to live in a rural location and it was out of the question if I couldn’t drive. So at 54 I found a wonderful driving instructor and did about 50 hours of lessons. Technically refresher lessons, but after 25 years, I basically felt like I was learning from scratch again. She had an automatic car, which I found a million times easier than manual, which I’d originally passed my test in. I would say for the first 20 hours or so, I would literally feel sick with fear before the lessons and my legs would sometimes be shaking when I got home. But I persevered.

After about 30 hours of lessons in her car, I bought myself a car and did another 20 hours with her in my own car, which was just invaluable. Finally, she had to tell me it was time to fly solo, as she felt I really didn’t need her sitting next to me any more!

That was 3 years ago and I now feel like a fairly confident driver, which I never envisioned. And I’ve been driving back and forth on 400 mile round trips to the coastal area I’m now hoping to move to. In fact, I love long distance drives far more than driving 10 miles around the city, which I still
find stressful.

It has changed my life and given me so much freedom. So it’s definitely not too late, OP. I would strongly advise you to do some practice with an actual driving instructor. Some are happy to take you out in your own family car, which is probably what you need. It will boost your confidence so much. So just find one locally and explain your situation, they will have heard similar stories before.

Best of luck. If I can do it, honestly, anyone can!

I know I’m a bit younger but I’m doing it now at 30, my instructor says she’s got a 50 year old learner! My mum is 52 and she’s going to be doing it next year. You’re never too old to learn a new skill!

The thing is, the more you put it off the worse it’s going to get. Your confidence will only build if you start doing it. I remember being 18 and terrified of driving alone so it’s not unusual how you feel and perfectly understandable. However the only way to build that confidence is to actually get out there and do it. Try short trips on your own and build them up gradually. You’ve definitely not missed the boat to drive but you need to take keep going and keep building your confidence

I'm in a similar position, in my 40s passed my test 9 years ago, drove a bit for the first year then stopped as I developed a fear of driving. Picked it up again a couple of weeks back as we're moving house soon and I need to be able to drive my car to the new house or sell it and admit defeat.

I've been out with my DH for a few short drives around a quiet industrial estate. I found I remember the technical side of driving pretty well, could find the bite, change gears etc. It's just building confidence around other cars (which has always been my worry with driving). I'm cautious person in general, so the worry comes from overthinking rather than lack of ability. As a passenger, I've started noting little errors other drivers make. Not in a negative critical way, but as a way of reassuring myself that I don't need to be a perfect driver, I just need to be safe and drive defensively.

You have to just keep getting out, force yourself to drive every day, even just a short route that you know. When I first passed my test I drove every single night the 15 minute drive to Tesco and as a family of 4 there was always something I needed to pick up. You can then start making other small trips & it will become second nature. I’ve been driving for just under 2 years now and have done some pretty big drives across the UK, I don’t even think about getting into the drivers seat now it’s as normal to me as going to the toilet. You’ve got to push past that anxiety at the beginning, you won’t feel like this forever.

Ah, well that's a fairly easy fix.

Accept that you're going to end up in the wrong lane and miss exits.

Everyone does that sometimes, even experienced drivers when they're somewhere unfamiliar.

The important thing is to just accept that you're going to be taking a detour, and don't do anything dangerous in order to cut across into the right lane.

Leave a bit earlier, so you've got a bit of "I've fucked up and have to take a detour" time, and make sure you've always got your satnav on, so you just get automatically rerouted to the next best route.

I am a good driver. I've been doing it for 20 years without an accident. Last month I had to spend ten minutes driving to the next junction and back on the M4 because I had left it too late to get back over in time for the junction. Part of the reason I've never had an accident is that I'm willing to take that 10 minutes when I have to, rather than make a dangerous manoeuvre.

Yes, really agree with this. When you go wrong just carry on till the next place to turn round or carry on around roundabout (while signalling) or go to next junction on bigger roads. Don't make last minute swerves. That IS dangerous. Just allow extra time.

Same as you, learned at 18 (different side of the road too), then moved to London.

Age 35 we moved somewhere that required a car.

I'd say DAILY practice is key. A few lessons here and there doesn't cut it. Practice practice practice.

And I recommend buying a second hand car you can scratch.

I passed at 40; you can do it.

It took quite a while for me to become reasonably confident, and even after 15 years I'm not super-confident - although in some ways I think that super-confident drivers can be more dangerous! I still find parking nerve-wracking, so I usually park at the far side of a supermarket car park, the top floor of a multi-story, or three streets away from where I'm going if it's easier to park! (I really ought to put some practice in and get more confident, especially now we have a car with sensors, which will make it easier if I can just trust them!)

After I passed my test, I didn't actually need to drive regularly. I was lucky that someone had been giving me lifts to my hobby, and so for the next year I gave him lifts instead - and he was a good driver who was wonderful at encouraging me (even when I stalled) and giving me more confidence. It's definitely a good idea to commit to some regular driving, and if you can find someone friendly to do that with, all the better.

I did learn to drive when I was younger, when we thought we might be moving and public transport might not be enough. By the time I failed my test, we knew we were staying where we were for at least three years, and weren't likely to be getting a car. I didn't continue with the lessons at that point, as I figured that by the time I needed to drive, I would have forgotten everything, and I would rather HAVE to have enough lessons to pass a test.

I began learning to drive at 38 for the first time in my life and passed my test 12 months later after almost a year of weekly lessons and a 3 month wait for my driving test.
you’re never too old to start

If you want to be a driver (it's not compulsory), it's far from being too late. My husband did it in his 40s by taking an intensive course. Get the number of a driving school that does them, explain your concerns, and see what they suggest. A lot of people are a bit scared of other traffic even after they pass their test. Practice gets you confident.

It's not too late! My mother passed her test at 17 and then just never drove, she didn't have a car. When I went to secondary school she decided she'd have to actually learn again for logistical reasons, she would've been 39 then. She's driven ever since.

Only way is to keep doing it. Go out in the morning when it is quieter and just drive round for a bit each day until the worry goes. No pressure to be somewhere specific by a certain time.

I consider myself a good driver. However I drove for the first time in the US this summer, the giant freeways, ability to right on a red etc. Americans drive like lunatics in comparison to UK drivers in my specific experience…(indicators, what are they?) …and it was terrifying. I was also in a giant SUV. I can completely see why you’d be nervous.

Dad passed in his 70s so you are never too old!

Just get some practice at parking and then make short trips in the local area until you get some confidence.

I passed my test at the age of 35 and it has changed my life. It gave me my independence and I no longer have to rely on anyone dropping or picking me up and the whole family has benefitted from it. I have been driving for 20 years now. The more you practice the more confident you get.

My mum was driving from the age of 17 and is still driving now at the age of 85. Her world is open instead of being closed. It really is worth getting your licence.

I passed test in my 30s and then didn’t drive for 10 years, and the fear got worse and worse. Finally decided to try and get over it at age 40 - had some refresher lessons, and then got a car. Four years later and I now feel pretty confident.

i started off by driving very locally, just around the block by myself, and doing some local routes. I then started doing the school run but would arrive extra early and park miles away. Plan routes in advance, look at google maps to see what lane to be in. As you get more confident, test yourself on different routes to get somewhere. Don’t be afraid of going a long way round to avoid roads you don’t like - you’re the driver, you get to decide! The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Parking also gets easier, you just have to keep practicing. I still park at the back of the car park in the less busy areas! Important thing is to keep at it, you’ll get to the stage where you get in the car without thinking.
it makes such a difference to your independence- you can do it!

I am in the same position. I have a license from abroad (now converted to a UK license) and haven't driven in the UK because I have always been in London. I used to drive more regularly back home when my parents were still alive but since they died over 10 years ago I have barely driven. DH drives if we need the car but in London we really rarely use it. It's mainly for going on holiday or for not very frequent trips outside London. Like others I am hoping driverless cars will fix the problem soon. Or if there was a particular reason why I had to start driving I would hope I would get my act together but for now no particular need so no solution to the problem.