AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

Think my husband was 45/46 when he passed , he’d never really needed to drive as lived in a city with good transport links and didn’t mind using public transport - he loves driving now and is always here and there for work. Go for it

I had a long break in my 30s and took refresher lessons. Worked a treat and now I'm driving happily again.

Bookmarking as I'm in a the same boat as a lot of you have been and it's encouraging. I even passed my all the tests first time too! Just never really got into it.

Ahh OP i could have written this myself! I am 36 and in the same boat. I have two young children and planning to try for a third. I know i will NEED to drive but I am terrified!! But looking at all the other comments it looks like we are not alone. Get some lessons booked and im so sure you will get there :)

Oh and Im nervous driving places I dont know. And parking although thats more panic than inability, I hate people watching me park.

But I research routes on google maps and research parking options beforehand.

You need to drive regularly.

I passed at 18 but didnt drive from 20-32. I did a few refreshers but then didn't drive again. Then I bought a car did the refreshers, pushed myself to drive somewhere most days. It soon became second nature. It needs to stop being an event and just be you getting from a-b.

I passed at 46 (first test but I had a lot of lessons - it definitely didn’t come naturally

My SIL just passed hers at 42.

Just wait for your driverless car won't be long. No need to pass a test etc.

Oh, and the other great thing about having a map up (even if it's not giving you directions) is that it shows you what is coming up on the road ahead, so no nasty surprises. It will also show traffic so you know if it's busy ahead etc.

I was a terrible parker when I first started driving. I used to literally sweat with fear (I don't even know what I was scared of as the chances of doing something seriously wrong when moving slower than walking speed are pretty minimal).

I used to practice by choosing the smallest possible space in a quiet road, like my own, and taking all the time I needed. I'm an absolutely brilliant parker now.

Absolutely all of it is just practice.

Google maps is a great suggestion, too. It takes all the stress out of getting it wrong and is v helpful with lanes.

So just use Google Maps. It helps you with lanes etc... and if you miss a turning or get in the wrong lane then just keep going and it will find another route for you. Getting lost isn't like it used to be!! It's must less stressful!

Last year my mum (in her 70s) started to "learn" to drive again as my dad's health is becoming poor and she realised that if she didn't make herself do it, they'd loose a lot of their independence when he has to stop driving.

What's the issue with parking?

I am in the same position. I have a license from abroad (now converted to a UK license) and haven't driven in the UK because I have always been in London. I used to drive more regularly back home when my parents were still alive but since they died over 10 years ago I have barely driven. DH drives if we need the car but in London we really rarely use it. It's mainly for going on holiday or for not very frequent trips outside London. Like others I am hoping driverless cars will fix the problem soon. Or if there was a particular reason why I had to start driving I would hope I would get my act together but for now no particular need so no solution to the problem.

I passed test in my 30s and then didn’t drive for 10 years, and the fear got worse and worse. Finally decided to try and get over it at age 40 - had some refresher lessons, and then got a car. Four years later and I now feel pretty confident.

i started off by driving very locally, just around the block by myself, and doing some local routes. I then started doing the school run but would arrive extra early and park miles away. Plan routes in advance, look at google maps to see what lane to be in. As you get more confident, test yourself on different routes to get somewhere. Don’t be afraid of going a long way round to avoid roads you don’t like - you’re the driver, you get to decide! The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Parking also gets easier, you just have to keep practicing. I still park at the back of the car park in the less busy areas! Important thing is to keep at it, you’ll get to the stage where you get in the car without thinking.
it makes such a difference to your independence- you can do it!

I passed my test at the age of 35 and it has changed my life. It gave me my independence and I no longer have to rely on anyone dropping or picking me up and the whole family has benefitted from it. I have been driving for 20 years now. The more you practice the more confident you get.

My mum was driving from the age of 17 and is still driving now at the age of 85. Her world is open instead of being closed. It really is worth getting your licence.

Dad passed in his 70s so you are never too old!

Just get some practice at parking and then make short trips in the local area until you get some confidence.

Only way is to keep doing it. Go out in the morning when it is quieter and just drive round for a bit each day until the worry goes. No pressure to be somewhere specific by a certain time.

I consider myself a good driver. However I drove for the first time in the US this summer, the giant freeways, ability to right on a red etc. Americans drive like lunatics in comparison to UK drivers in my specific experience…(indicators, what are they?) …and it was terrifying. I was also in a giant SUV. I can completely see why you’d be nervous.

It's not too late! My mother passed her test at 17 and then just never drove, she didn't have a car. When I went to secondary school she decided she'd have to actually learn again for logistical reasons, she would've been 39 then. She's driven ever since.

If you want to be a driver (it's not compulsory), it's far from being too late. My husband did it in his 40s by taking an intensive course. Get the number of a driving school that does them, explain your concerns, and see what they suggest. A lot of people are a bit scared of other traffic even after they pass their test. Practice gets you confident.

I began learning to drive at 38 for the first time in my life and passed my test 12 months later after almost a year of weekly lessons and a 3 month wait for my driving test.
you’re never too old to start

I passed at 40; you can do it.

It took quite a while for me to become reasonably confident, and even after 15 years I'm not super-confident - although in some ways I think that super-confident drivers can be more dangerous! I still find parking nerve-wracking, so I usually park at the far side of a supermarket car park, the top floor of a multi-story, or three streets away from where I'm going if it's easier to park! (I really ought to put some practice in and get more confident, especially now we have a car with sensors, which will make it easier if I can just trust them!)

After I passed my test, I didn't actually need to drive regularly. I was lucky that someone had been giving me lifts to my hobby, and so for the next year I gave him lifts instead - and he was a good driver who was wonderful at encouraging me (even when I stalled) and giving me more confidence. It's definitely a good idea to commit to some regular driving, and if you can find someone friendly to do that with, all the better.

I did learn to drive when I was younger, when we thought we might be moving and public transport might not be enough. By the time I failed my test, we knew we were staying where we were for at least three years, and weren't likely to be getting a car. I didn't continue with the lessons at that point, as I figured that by the time I needed to drive, I would have forgotten everything, and I would rather HAVE to have enough lessons to pass a test.

Same as you, learned at 18 (different side of the road too), then moved to London.

Age 35 we moved somewhere that required a car.

I'd say DAILY practice is key. A few lessons here and there doesn't cut it. Practice practice practice.

And I recommend buying a second hand car you can scratch.

Yes, really agree with this. When you go wrong just carry on till the next place to turn round or carry on around roundabout (while signalling) or go to next junction on bigger roads. Don't make last minute swerves. That IS dangerous. Just allow extra time.

Ah, well that's a fairly easy fix.

Accept that you're going to end up in the wrong lane and miss exits.

Everyone does that sometimes, even experienced drivers when they're somewhere unfamiliar.

The important thing is to just accept that you're going to be taking a detour, and don't do anything dangerous in order to cut across into the right lane.

Leave a bit earlier, so you've got a bit of "I've fucked up and have to take a detour" time, and make sure you've always got your satnav on, so you just get automatically rerouted to the next best route.

I am a good driver. I've been doing it for 20 years without an accident. Last month I had to spend ten minutes driving to the next junction and back on the M4 because I had left it too late to get back over in time for the junction. Part of the reason I've never had an accident is that I'm willing to take that 10 minutes when I have to, rather than make a dangerous manoeuvre.