AIBU to feel I have left it too late to drive?

OP, you need to practise lots of driving at seven or 8 am on a Sunday morning. If other cars are the issue, then you need to drive on roads when there are few cars around but still daylight.

I am the same, passed age 17, now mid 40s and have barely driven since. In fact, I have not driven at all since one refresher lesson about 15 years ago. I know I need to re-learn to make my life easier as I get older but it's a scary thought!

I learnt to drive in my mid 40s.

You were snarky to that one poster saying to get your license. But the principle is the same. You need to take more lessons to build your confidence.

I passed my test last year at the age of 42. I had no interest in driving and I'm still not the biggest fan of it but it does open up so much freedom. It sounds like you have lost confidence rather than being unable to do it so keep going with the lessons and hour by hour you will improve and your confidence will grow.

My dear mum god rest her soul passed at age 60!

Not too late at all - I passed my test at 18 then never drove again (combination of fear and living in a city with great public transport for 20 years). Then I moved to a more rural area and my new job really necessitated driving. So at age 43, after having never driven for 25 years, I took refresher lessons with a lovely, patient instructor, then she began sitting with me in my own car for the lessons (she popped a portable L plate sign on the top and back/front of my car for each lesson) and my confidence just grew and grew! Because I had to go back to square one, I asked her to make sure she felt I was ‘test ready’ (even though I didn’t need to take the test) before we finished our lessons. I also studied the theory test side of things again and did a few online practice ones until I got 100%! 3 years later, I absolutely love driving and it has truly transformed my life. Hang in there!!

Never. It takes 140 hours to get used to ca car new or old. You will be fine and think of all the amazing places you can visit and see.

I would do the pass plus course which is specifically for confidence post passing your driving test.

My.grama learnt to drive in her 60s! She was scared at first and was never totally confident as a driver but she was happy to shuttle around her main places with a small car and it have her a lot of independence.

It's just practice OP.

Continue with your lessons, build confidence and don't rush yourself

You may have a licence already but you haven't driven for so long you're rusty. Start from the beginning as if you're a new driver.

Not at all i thought you was going to say you where 70

If you haven't yet, swap to an automatic. I learnt to drive abroad and this made adjusting here so much easier. I have seen this with lots of friends as well. You can just purely concentrate on traffic and driving.

I agree with all the other posters. I learned in the UK and passed my test at 18 but then barely drove for about 12 years.
I now live in another country (so driving on the other side of the road) and was really nervous at first (still am sometimes!) Stick with it and keep practising.
At one point I thought I might have developed a driving phobia, so bought an online course to get over it, but I think it was just a lack of practice.
Also, I read recently that driving anxiety can be a perimenopause symptom, so it's a good idea to get back into it now!

If you've not driven, or not driven independently and confidently for 22 years please don't think it's OK to just start. Driving an automatic would maybe help a little, but I can see you've dismissed that out of hand.

A colleague of mine was, some years ago, involved in an accident between her coach and a car. The car driver had been licensed for years but not driven. She then decided to drive her partners car on a journey of about 50 miles on roads that by London standards are quiet. To cut a long story short she killed herself and her front seat passenger. The rear seat passenger didn't walk again.

Driving is serious business....

Sorry I should clarify that it didn’t take me 3 years 🙈 I did it over the course of about 5 months. I just meant that my confidence and enjoyment of driving kept growing the more I drove, and 3 years on I love it and will drive anywhere!

Just go out on quieter days/times on routes you already know to build up your confidence

You’ve just lost your confidence! You absolutely can do it. You have so much life left - keep doing lessons until you feel confident. You will get there

Don’t let the negativity in.

you completely have this. I passed at 36 first time. What I realise now that I didn’t then, it’s about hours behind the wheel. Just do as many as you can with whoever will take you. Stop thinking about before, you’re starting again. Just go out as much as you can. The more you do, the easier it will be. Just get out there. You can 💯 do this.

The effortless nature of it comes from hours behind the wheel. There is no substitute, you have to put the time in. A long course of lessons, and practice at quiet times of day, will really help you, but it takes a year or two of regular driving to get there. That said, I never achieved confidence in a manual. I know you said you aren't planning to change cars but it really is the way to go. All modern (electric) cars are autos anyway so it is inevitable. And parking sensors, and even better, parking cameras, make all the difference. But despite all that I'd still rather walk miles than park in a tricky spot.

I have driven for 30 plus years. Never parallel parked once! Don't despair you are not too old at all.my friends mum passed in her 50s

Don't discount this completely though. When you're driving and there's so much to focus on, having an automatic does take care of some of the thought load, so you can focus on spacing, parking, safety issues.

Honestly, please just stick with it. Your children will benefit from your ability to get you and them around now, and your ability to get yourself places, long into the future. You just have to keep at it. It really is a case of practice makes perfect.

YABU. I was the same. Eventually I was on 3 children and the stress of not driving finally tipped me into lessons and I drive all the time now. I’m still not good at parking. I had lessons with a lovely guy for several months. I was late 30’s so very similar age. I had limited driving experience and had never owned a car when younger. I got a car after having a baby and I only really managed when they weren’t infants as I was worried about safety and distraction - it’s still a factor with older children but not in the same way. It is brilliant being independent and it was unsustainable for me not to be part of ferrying kids when they started activities. Do it! Get the right kind of instructor for refresher lessons. I had a lovely man who quite enjoyed having another adult as he spends a lot of time with young people.

Get some lessons and ask the driving instructor to treat you as if you never passed your driving test.
i know you said you di, but this was over 2 decades ago, most likely in a country driving on the other side of the road I’m assuming, with barely any driving experience.
So, although, you know how to drive, and over 20 years ago you proved you were safe on the roads independently, you need to look at it as a new learning session.
It’s all still there in your brain and muscle memory but you just need to practice and listen to instructions.
I would also advise you re-familiarise yourself with the highway code. Just do some practice tests after working through the rules.

A PP had a useful question: are you sure your existing driving license is still valid in the UK? Get that checked just in case.

You’ll be fine but you just need to practice, practice, practice. First with an instructor so they can determine if/when you are safe behind the wheel. And then, on your own, in your own car at quiet times of the day.

You can do this OP!