Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu feeling uneasy about men taking little girls to the toilet in the womens toilet?

514 replies

Fasdmama · Yesterday 10:57

I've seen this a few times and I dont know what is the right thing to do.
So the other week we were at the cinema. I took my daughter to the toilet and as I was waiting for her a man came out of a cubicle with a little girl and went to wash her hands.
It got me thinking.
I feel uncomfortable a man in the womens toilet. I understand how you'd potentially feel uncomfortable taking a daughter into the mens toilets.
And the only other option in this situation was the disabled toilet but morally thats wrong.

I dont know what I feel is right in this situation so wanted to know other people's opinions.
So yabu: its right for a man to take girl into female toilets
Yanbu: he should take her somewhere else...but where?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
olivepicanto · Yesterday 13:04

Cloudtime · Yesterday 12:59

Exactly this . I can understand a very young female not wanted to see a bunch of men with their dicks out peeing but can not understand why adult women get so worked up about someone of another gender being anywhere near them while they’re in a locked cubicle . Not sure how people rationalise that a ‘woman’s right to privacy ‘ is more important than a female child’s .

Show quote history

Because my DD is entitled to a safe space.

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:04

FourSevenFive · Yesterday 12:37

And she will get a safe, private cubicle when her father takes her to the men's.

The young boys have rights as well.
In your logic, should fathers bring their boys to women's (to avoid going through men's), or mothers their boys to men's (because boys have rights too)?

Show quote history

That’s not my logic.

So how is the little girl in a cubicle in the men’s more safe than a woman in a cubicle in the women’s?

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:04

Dollymylove · Yesterday 13:04

But the man isnt in there to perv over women. He's in there taking his little girl to the toilet. In a cubicle, just like everyone else. Some men are single parents/ joint custody didnt you know?

Whether they are a single parent, married or anything else it makes zero difference. They need to take their daughter to the mens

BlueSkiesAndSunshiiine · Yesterday 13:05

Just use the disabled loo. You'll only be in there for a few minutes whilst the kid has a wee.

Everydayimhuffling · Yesterday 13:05

They should take their daughters to the men's toilet. They are there, making it safe. This is what my DP does.

Strongopiniononaboutprettymucheverything · Yesterday 13:05

No doubt some nice normal bloke who was looking after his little girl. What’s so scary about that ?

Septembersunrays · Yesterday 13:05

Surely it's worse to takes little girl past urinals into a foul male loo ?

olivepicanto · Yesterday 13:06

Dollymylove · Yesterday 13:04

But the man isnt in there to perv over women. He's in there taking his little girl to the toilet. In a cubicle, just like everyone else. Some men are single parents/ joint custody didnt you know?

It doesn't matter why hes
there

he's an adult male in a female space

Crow55 · Yesterday 13:06

shuggles · Yesterday 12:51

You think men turn around from a urinal and expose themselves to everyone in the room?

Do you watch a lot of videos of gay men on the internet?

Show quote history

They wait until it’s less visable to others or they’re alone. My son has told me. I believe him.

Blueblell · Yesterday 13:07

I am sorry I don’t see a problem with this - he is not going to the toilet himself the daughter is. He is entering a cubicle and locking the door, washing her hands and leaving.

Crow55 · Yesterday 13:08

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 12:52

It’s not “safeguarding “ at all. You are using the term completely incorrectly here . The dad is with the child that’s the safeguarding . I did not say anything at all about a child going in alone , wherever you got that idea from . It’s “safeguarding “ to big grown men out of women’s toilets . It’s the epitome of selfishness. Oh and a male child goes into the women’s with their mother , men’s with their father . Just as it should be . You go to the toilet of the sex of the parent you are with. Simple as

Edited
Show quote history

No you don’t you safeguard your child as you see fit. If that’s a boy going in with his mum to the ladies or a dad going with his daughter into the ladies so be it. Simple as.

ScaramoucheCanYouDoTheFandango · Yesterday 13:10

Septembersunrays · Yesterday 13:05

Surely it's worse to takes little girl past urinals into a foul male loo ?

Why is it ok for little boys to be in a foul male loo?

Men need to start complaining about cleaning of their loos if they are that foul, not use women’s.

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:10

Crow55 · Yesterday 13:08

No you don’t you safeguard your child as you see fit. If that’s a boy going in with his mum to the ladies or a dad going with his daughter into the ladies so be it. Simple as.

Show quote history

No . By your logic a mother should bring her little boy into the men’s . Adult men shouldn’t be in the women’s toilets and adult women should never be in the men’s . That is the way it is

Ladyingreen999 · Yesterday 13:11

Stompythedinosaur · Yesterday 11:27

I have no idea how this is even a debate. Men don't belong in female spaces. Young children can go with their parent into the toilets of the parent's gender.

I've never heard of a mum accompanying their son into the men's, why men feel able to free infringe on women's privacy I have no idea.

I honestly think any man looking for an excuse to pop into the ladies is someone to be concerned about.

Maybe they don't want their little girls to have to look at men's asses at the urinals.

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:11

ScaramoucheCanYouDoTheFandango · Yesterday 13:10

Why is it ok for little boys to be in a foul male loo?

Men need to start complaining about cleaning of their loos if they are that foul, not use women’s.

Show quote history

Plenty of public female loos are gross too . It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in any public toilet . I’m sure we have all seen some horrific sights in the women’s toilets. I know I have

ExtraOnions · Yesterday 13:11

Ladyingreen999 · Yesterday 13:11

Maybe they don't want their little girls to have to look at men's asses at the urinals.

Show quote history

Do you think men pull thier trousers and underpants down to use a urinal?

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:12

olivepicanto · Yesterday 13:06

It doesn't matter why hes
there

he's an adult male in a female space

Show quote history

So minor female in adult male space is better?

ScaramoucheCanYouDoTheFandango · Yesterday 13:13

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:12

So minor female in adult male space is better?

Show quote history

why is it an issue if accompanied by her dad.

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:14

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:12

So minor female in adult male space is better?

Show quote history

Of course it is . They have an adult male guardian with them to keep them safe .

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:14

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:10

No . By your logic a mother should bring her little boy into the men’s . Adult men shouldn’t be in the women’s toilets and adult women should never be in the men’s . That is the way it is

Show quote history

So adult women can’t go in the men’s toilets but it’s ok for little girls to go in?
Wait are men at risk around women? Such that they’re only safe if it’s just a little girl in their toilets?

Crow55 · Yesterday 13:15

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:10

No . By your logic a mother should bring her little boy into the men’s . Adult men shouldn’t be in the women’s toilets and adult women should never be in the men’s . That is the way it is

Show quote history

No it isn’t. There is no law that says parents can’t enter different sex toilets to safeguard their children. So “the way it is” is that parents can, do and should safeguard their children as they feel fit.

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:15

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:14

Of course it is . They have an adult male guardian with them to keep them safe .

Show quote history

Disagree.

Tralalalala88 · Yesterday 13:16

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:14

So adult women can’t go in the men’s toilets but it’s ok for little girls to go in?
Wait are men at risk around women? Such that they’re only safe if it’s just a little girl in their toilets?

Show quote history

Yes exactly . And adult men can’t go into women’s toilets but it’s fine for little boys to go into. Get it now ?

NullaEffugium · Yesterday 13:17

ScaramoucheCanYouDoTheFandango · Yesterday 13:13

why is it an issue if accompanied by her dad.

Show quote history

Because you’d be deliberately exposing a small girl to several strange men while using the toilet just so that an adult woman doesn’t have to see one dad helping the same girl.

This is unbelievably cruel to the girl and makes her feel like she isn’t really female.

Annoyedbyhusband · Yesterday 13:18

It wouldn’t bother me, the cubicles are secure and have doors, he is with his daughter. Where else are they supposed to go? A lone man without a daughte, definitely not. But a man stuck in his own with a small girl, then I would be fine. I’m sure he ain’t peeking under doors. In public toilets I pee and go as quickly as I can anyway. The sink area is just a sink area and there’s nothing to see there.

Swipe left for the next trending thread