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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel relieved the school has now completely banned phones

256 replies

Eastie77Returns · 04/09/2026 14:15

DD’s school has completely banned phones for all incoming Y7 pupils and this will last for the entirety of their time at the school going toward. Existing pupils are still allowed to bring phones in but have to keep to the old rule (if they are seen or heard they are confiscated for 20 days).

DD is Y9 so she will be able to follow the old rule but DS, who starts secondary next year, will not be able to take one in. I honestly feel a massive sense of relief. He doesn’t have a phone at the moment and I was planning to get him an old style Nokia as he isn’t bothered about tech or latest phones. However I was a bit worried that he’d feel left if all his friends had iPhones etc. The school seems pretty serious about it all, all pupils and parents have to sign an agreement and any child caught with a phone will be excluded - no questions asked. The mother of DS’ best friend has now decided she will not send her DS to the school as originally planned as she thinks the ban is reckless and dangerous?! AIBU to think the ban is fine and makes complete sense plus millions of children managed to get to and from school safely without phones a generation ago!

OP posts:
Whynottryagain · 05/09/2026 08:58

I think it's a good idea and hopefully remove the peer pressure to give children phones. I've heard of some awful stuff on children's WhatsApp groups. I support it.

Having said that I used to have a long public transport journey to school and did have to call my Mum a couple of times due to delays. In year 7 there were pay phones but I remember by 6th form I had to ask a man if I could borrow his mobile as the pay phone was gone. He kindly said yes. Another time I knocked on someone's door to ask if I could use their landline!

Mosaic80 · 05/09/2026 09:04

Yanbu. My DS’s school has the same rule. Last year, year 10 and up were allowed phones (not seen or used) but this year it’s no phones at all till 6th form. I think in general it’s a good thing. Phones in school (not seen or used) didn’t cause ds any issues but I can imagine it could for others so I’m happy to support the school. They can have a dumb/brick phone if needed. My ds hasn’t bothered but I might get him one for Christmas.

Eastie77Returns · 05/09/2026 09:49

IStillHearTheWaves · 05/09/2026 08:53

Really? I find this odd. I didn't have a phone card but always had loose change or reversed the charges haha.

What did you do if you decided to go to a friend's house after school or the library instead of coming straight home? Did you just go?! My mum always expected me to let her know if I was going to be home hours later than usual. I certainly wasn't unusual in my social circle. My school actually ended up getting a payphone in the mid 90s for pupils to use.

I remember going to the library or park after school without going to a payphone to ask my parents permission. None of my friends did and I don’t think that is particularly unusual. I was at primary and secondary in the 80s and up to mid 90s.

OP posts:
BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:04

Eastie77Returns · 04/09/2026 15:03

How frequently does your DS (or any child) need to go to reception to send a brief message to their parent during the school day and for what reasons?

Similarly, the inability to tell you about things needed for school the next day during school breaks..why can’t he just tell you when he gets home?

I’m not being goady, I’m genuinely interested in why this is all necessary. Any parent aged over 40 or so managed perfectly fine at school without mobile phones. I’m intrigued as to why so many of those same parents now think their child’s safety and comfort is at huge risk if they don’t have phones.

Edited

Not all that often, but I don't think that's the point, really. We all have lots of tools and facilities that we don't need or choose to use all that often, but that doesn't mean that we don't need them sometimes - and also value having them available in case we do need them, even if that doesn't occur very frequently.

Our lawnmower and hedge trimmers spend 99% of their time in our shed; but that doesn't mean that we don't need them! How many people carry paracetamol in their handbags, even those who don't frequently suffer from headaches; or a spare key for a family member's house, in the very rare event that they need to access it in an emergency?

They often give them very little notice of things that they need for the next day - so if he could message me at breaktime, I could pick items up from the shops/arrange them at home during the day (I WFH, very flexibly). Without the phone, it's another task to have to cram into the evening - and especially annoying if I've been to the shops that day already and find that I needed one more small item. We're both human, so he might have known a day or two before and forgotten to tell me; or he did tell me and it slipped my mind.

It's also for travel plans and when after-school clubs are cancelled. Interestingly, they went on a school trip shortly before they broke up, and they were all told that they MUST bring a phone with them - one of these dangerous things that teenagers should never use - so they could let parents know if the minibus was caught in traffic and they would be late back... which indeed it was, by almost an hour.

I think it's daft to ask why people should want/need to use modern everyday things when they don't strictly need to. A few generations back, people managed perfectly well with a cold privy at the bottom of the garden, or even just a bucket, and with a tin bath in the living room. Would YOU be happy to be told that you don't need the standard indoor fixed facilities that we have now, and so you aren't allowed to use them?

Yes, we all managed fine at school without mobile phones and the internet... because they didn't exist... but now they do exist, and are a normal part of routine life. You and I are both on the internet now, talking about something that we don't actually need to be discussing at all - and which our grandparents' generation would never have done (and yet still managed to survive overall to a decent old age). How would you like it if you were told that you couldn't call or message your DH from work about anything during your break - because "you should have spoken to him before you left" and/or "you'll see him again this evening" - just in case your using a modern communications tool for a minute or two risks you getting addicted to and doing stupid things with it?

It's not about their safety and comfort being at huge risk; it's just making use of the standard tools that are available in modern life, and not harking back to a time before we had as many options. The pupils at our DS's school have now been issued with paper 'planners', for them to track everything in the old-fashioned way. Previously, the school used an app that students and parents could easily access - one which could be dynamically updated centrally and didn't require 100s of people to waste time writing down the exact same information, and then crossing it out and constantly revising when it went out of date or plans were changed.

It reminds me of the tasks on The Apprentice, where they're given difficult challenges and not allowed to use phones, except for calling people. Those tasks would be very simple if they could access the internet - just like every other serious businessperson will be doing now without a moment's thought.

MigGirl · 05/09/2026 10:13

NewYearVibes · 04/09/2026 14:52

My DC school is not banning it and it's one of the best performing schools in the county.

I feel like the ban is anti technology in a way. Similar to the attitude that if you use AI, you are cheating. Phones are a part of life now. What is needed is a social media ban for under 18. I don't understand how they are deem old enough to be independent and not have a child profile anymore at 13. I believe it's the law UK since it's 16 in Germany. This allows the child to have an adult profile from 13 with Google, Apple, Tiktok etc. Kids still have access to them after school. DC primary bans it, but there were already Year 6 whatsapp groups, and already mean bullying on it.

I'd like to know how? This is not a government guideline it's a new law, schools now have to ensure children do not have access to smartphones during the school day. How are the school planning on enforcing this? Many schools are going with phone pouches. But at £10 a pouche I can see why some schools are just going with banning outright. I know some are going with no smartphones and dumb phones only as this is another option.

TheAmberKoala · 05/09/2026 10:23

Faceonthewrongfoot · 04/09/2026 15:46

Ok, but see I think having phones where they can contact mummy/daddy at the drop of a hat in fact stops teenagers from problem solving. They just ring their parents whenever anything happens (see other posts about 'changes of plans' or transport issues). Pre mobile phones, teenagers had to try and problem solve - figure out for themselves that they needed to get a different bus/walk/go to a friends house and ring home from there.
So I would actually say that needing to go to the office to send a message home might actually make your DS look for other solutions first before contacting you - or stopping to think about whether it can actually wait til after school. Which is then a more grown up thing than, as you say, needing his mummy or daddy every time something happens.

Biscuit My daughter isnt contacting Mummy or Daddy, (nice lazy insult) - she frequently gets called in for shifts after work, and she catches a different bus if she goes home vs goes to work. Shes mature, responsible and solves her own problems as Im also at work.
TheAmberKoala · 05/09/2026 10:24

Eastie77Returns · 05/09/2026 09:49

I remember going to the library or park after school without going to a payphone to ask my parents permission. None of my friends did and I don’t think that is particularly unusual. I was at primary and secondary in the 80s and up to mid 90s.

Not everyone is privileged to live in a safe neighbourhood.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:24

T3Tim3 · 04/09/2026 16:36

Exactly. Phones just make them anxious and think they can’t do anything for themselves or problem solve,chatgbt or mummy has to sort it all. There shouldn’t be any phones anywhere near schools.

Why do you or I come on MN to discuss things or ask questions and opinions - is that because we're ultra anxious and unable or too stupid to find any solutions on our own?

Why does it have to be all or nothing? Why do so many people have such a rock-bottom low basic view of teenagers as a whole? Maybe some teenagers are very susceptible to addiction/crushing anxiety or have been parented (or not) in such a way that they believe a phone is a magic comfort blanket-cum-ersatz brain that they cannot function without - and action quite likely is needed for them and their needs; but huge, huge numbers of them - just a few years away from being adults - are indeed perfectly able to use a phone as a tool when it is needed or helpful, without being glued to it every second.

It's like an alcoholic using their own experiences to demand that all pubs and supermarket booze aisles should be closed down for good; or a problem gambler insisting that the National Lottery should be banned - because if they can't safely function without taking things to extremes and addiction levels, or take steps to protect themselves with their own individual issues, surely nobody else could either? In fact, those aren't the best analogies, because you can live perfectly fine without either of those... but you can't function in modern society without a phone.

It's a very damaging message that we're sending to our teenagers: that they're all automatically badly-behaved, unable to think, immature and foolish, so why even bother to put in the effort to develop and mature if they're just going to be slapped down again and gaslit into believing that they're just silly little children who can't know or be trusted with anything? At the moment, we're telling 16yos that they absolutely cannot be trusted to know how to use a phone wisely and sensibly; yet one year later, they're allowed to drive a car!

MigGirl · 05/09/2026 10:26

Eastie77Returns · 04/09/2026 14:15

DD’s school has completely banned phones for all incoming Y7 pupils and this will last for the entirety of their time at the school going toward. Existing pupils are still allowed to bring phones in but have to keep to the old rule (if they are seen or heard they are confiscated for 20 days).

DD is Y9 so she will be able to follow the old rule but DS, who starts secondary next year, will not be able to take one in. I honestly feel a massive sense of relief. He doesn’t have a phone at the moment and I was planning to get him an old style Nokia as he isn’t bothered about tech or latest phones. However I was a bit worried that he’d feel left if all his friends had iPhones etc. The school seems pretty serious about it all, all pupils and parents have to sign an agreement and any child caught with a phone will be excluded - no questions asked. The mother of DS’ best friend has now decided she will not send her DS to the school as originally planned as she thinks the ban is reckless and dangerous?! AIBU to think the ban is fine and makes complete sense plus millions of children managed to get to and from school safely without phones a generation ago!

Your friend will then have to home educated or find a private school which will allow phones as all state schools now have to ensure that children do not have access to a smartphone during school hours.

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-10241/

waitinginwonderland · 05/09/2026 10:30

I think as a teacher it’s the best thing schools can do, and as a parent I wish everyone had the common sense not to give an adult tool to a child. When asked about parental controls etc for phones, the creators of various smart phones have pointed out that they were not made for children, which is why the controls are so poor and easy to workaround. I’ve been teaching 13 years and since young children having phones has been commonplace, the dip in attainment, focus, concentration, social skills, play, imagination, etc has been marked.

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:32

FirmSnake · 04/09/2026 16:48

The train station is going to be one the easiest places to find a means of communication. Most still have payphones. If not find a guard, or another passenger or press the help button if really stuck.
It's not as though a mobile phone is going to magically fix anything.

Do you do everything in life obstinately searching for ways to eschew standard modern ways of making things easier and more convenient? Do you use a dolly tub and mangle to do your washing? Do you use a porcelain jug and a bowl to wash your hair instead of a shower?

It reminds me of Mrs Doyle 'liking the misery'!

FirmSnake · 05/09/2026 10:40

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:32

Do you do everything in life obstinately searching for ways to eschew standard modern ways of making things easier and more convenient? Do you use a dolly tub and mangle to do your washing? Do you use a porcelain jug and a bowl to wash your hair instead of a shower?

It reminds me of Mrs Doyle 'liking the misery'!

No, not always. But being able to manage without modern tech sometimes is a handy life skill.

Sarah2891 · 05/09/2026 10:41

YANBU. I think it's a good idea.

PuffinIsle · 05/09/2026 10:46

AmazonAntiqueStore · 04/09/2026 14:28

I don’t agree with a complete ban. Ban on using them on school property, absolutely fine and sensible. But why can’t they take them and leave them turned off in their bags? Plenty of reasons they may need to use them while travelling to / from school and the ban makes that impossible.

Because they don't leave them turned off in their bags. They are completely distracted by them, they film other students, staff and each other. They use them to cheat in tests and in some cases to video in the toilets because 'it's just a laugh'. I cannot tell you the amount of problems they can cause and often by really lovely students, who are completely addicted to their phones.

My school hasn't allowed phones for the last 3 years, after one of our lovely TAs went into very early and sudden labour and she was filmed and circulated. Phones are now handed in at the start of the day and locked away, then collected at the end of the day.

waitinginwonderland · 05/09/2026 10:47

PuffinIsle · 05/09/2026 10:46

Because they don't leave them turned off in their bags. They are completely distracted by them, they film other students, staff and each other. They use them to cheat in tests and in some cases to video in the toilets because 'it's just a laugh'. I cannot tell you the amount of problems they can cause and often by really lovely students, who are completely addicted to their phones.

My school hasn't allowed phones for the last 3 years, after one of our lovely TAs went into very early and sudden labour and she was filmed and circulated. Phones are now handed in at the start of the day and locked away, then collected at the end of the day.

This. Also with increasing use of AI it’s absolutely terrifying for school staff to think that you could be filmed and then have your voice and image manipulated in potentially life-ruining ways.

PuffinIsle · 05/09/2026 10:48

FirmSnake · 05/09/2026 10:40

No, not always. But being able to manage without modern tech sometimes is a handy life skill.

Absolutely agree. Many young people are sadly growing up without any lateral thinking skills because everything is seemingly fixed by a mobile phone.

PuffinIsle · 05/09/2026 10:50

waitinginwonderland · 05/09/2026 10:47

This. Also with increasing use of AI it’s absolutely terrifying for school staff to think that you could be filmed and then have your voice and image manipulated in potentially life-ruining ways.

This happened less than a month ago to a past colleague of mine, who now works in another school.

IStillHearTheWaves · 05/09/2026 10:51

concertinacornflake · 04/09/2026 17:47

The number of kids killed walking on rural roads was higher back then. Is that the sort of thing you mean by 'figured shit out yourself' - kids walking home in the dark on rural roads?

The good old days!

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:52

BelleEpoque27 · 04/09/2026 17:31

Don't be silly. If you're old enough to have a teenager you're presumably old enough to have gone to school without a phone. We all coped fine, and grew up to be normal adults.

How many times does he really need to contact you? I don't remember ever calling my mum from the school office - you just went home.

We also both grew up without the internet - so why do you feel the need to be on it now? Life doesn't have to be a race to the bottom, denying all of the progress and convenience of modern life. Do you never use your phone to call or message a family member whom you will see that evening anyway?

Incidentally, we had a public payphone right outside our school, and several more on the way home. I still got bullied and beaten up walking to and from school. Had I had a mobile phone, I would have been able to phone for help right then and there (parents/school/police) and film/record the bullies (whether overtly or discreetly) for proof to take to the authorities and my parents to take to theirs and get them stopped and punished. But I'm still alive now, so I guess that's all that matters...

IStillHearTheWaves · 05/09/2026 10:56

Eastie77Returns · 05/09/2026 09:49

I remember going to the library or park after school without going to a payphone to ask my parents permission. None of my friends did and I don’t think that is particularly unusual. I was at primary and secondary in the 80s and up to mid 90s.

Sorry, but I think that's really lax parenting.

It wasn't about permission. My parents never said no to me going somewhere, but wanted to know where I was. I dont think that's unreasonable or unusual, even in the 90s. None of my firends just didn't come home. Would you be OK with your child just not turning up?

MargaretThursday · 05/09/2026 10:58

lxn889121 · 05/09/2026 07:18

I never knew that so many children used payphones in the 90s-early 2000s...

As a school aged kid at that time, I don't remember ever seeing a person let alone another child use one.

Somehow I think this is just a quick easy line to discredit the idea that before every child had a connection their parents in their pocket, they actually managed fine on their own..

As someone who was at school in the 80s/90s I would use one several times a term.
Using a payphone to call home (and to call 999) was part of one of the Brownie badges and I can also remember it being taught in primary school. It was considered something important we should know.

At school we had a phone box and I remember calling for things like

Wanting to join an afterschool activity
After school club cancelled.
Staying on with a friend after school
Going to the library to do some homework
Going to a friend's house
Sport's match finished (for that we used to let the phone ring three time, come off and then do the same again to save the 10p)
Forgotten something
"How's granny?"
If a friend was off ill, we'd often crowd into the phone box to call them at break.

If I'd gone to town with friends, I might call to say I was on the way home, or plans had changed or permission to get something etc.

All those things would probably be done by a WhatsApp message now which is far simpler!

waitinginwonderland · 05/09/2026 10:58

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 05/09/2026 10:52

We also both grew up without the internet - so why do you feel the need to be on it now? Life doesn't have to be a race to the bottom, denying all of the progress and convenience of modern life. Do you never use your phone to call or message a family member whom you will see that evening anyway?

Incidentally, we had a public payphone right outside our school, and several more on the way home. I still got bullied and beaten up walking to and from school. Had I had a mobile phone, I would have been able to phone for help right then and there (parents/school/police) and film/record the bullies (whether overtly or discreetly) for proof to take to the authorities and my parents to take to theirs and get them stopped and punished. But I'm still alive now, so I guess that's all that matters...

No you wouldn’t. The people beating you up wouldn’t have paused for you to film them doing it. And the bullying would have followed you home via social media. Their friends would have filmed you being bullied and posted it everywhere so you’d have been further humiliated. Bullying is far worse since phones/social media, there is literally no escape, and people say far worse things online than they do face to face.

ChalkOutlines · 05/09/2026 11:00

T3Tim3 · 04/09/2026 16:55

Oh it will be as Ofsted will come down on them like a ton of bricks.

State -funded schools in England are legally required to follow government guidance that makes the school day phone-free by default.
A law under the Children's Wellbeing and Schools Act came into force on June 29, 2026, giving legal force to these mobile phone restrictions.

Phone free doesn’t mean banning them completely.

FirmSnake · 05/09/2026 11:00

IStillHearTheWaves · 05/09/2026 10:56

Sorry, but I think that's really lax parenting.

It wasn't about permission. My parents never said no to me going somewhere, but wanted to know where I was. I dont think that's unreasonable or unusual, even in the 90s. None of my firends just didn't come home. Would you be OK with your child just not turning up?

My parents were both at work, so wouldn't have known if I was home or not anyway. Mums sat at home waiting for kids to come in wasn't normal in the 90s was it?

Gengha · 05/09/2026 11:00

AmazonAntiqueStore · 04/09/2026 14:28

I don’t agree with a complete ban. Ban on using them on school property, absolutely fine and sensible. But why can’t they take them and leave them turned off in their bags? Plenty of reasons they may need to use them while travelling to / from school and the ban makes that impossible.

This

Why are English schools like this? So draconian and disproportionate.

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