AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

YABVU. They chose him, raised him from a pup and love him as much as you do and possibly more. They are also a broken family who needs their dog.

Not a dog, their dog; an important member of their family for 3 years.

The kids are having to adapt to being back in the UK without their father, and your sister must be really struggling too. I don't see how you claim the dog has irrevocably settled into your home in 7 months, yet your nieces and nephews can just adjust to being back in the UK without their dad or their dog and be absolutely fine. Those children have trauma and need their dog.

Every dog has a person. Either your sister or her husband is that person for that dog.

if it is your sister you are being unbelievably cruel and the dog needs to be back with his owner/mum/person.

The OP hasn't slagged off her sister at all.

Well OP's sister has all the context.

I wonder how she would feel if she came across this thread and read OP's comments about her.

This. Abominably selfish of you OP

YABVU. They chose him, raised him from a pup and love him as much as you do and possibly more. They are also a broken family who needs their dog.

Not a dog, their dog; an important member of their family for 3 years.

The kids are having to adapt to being back in the UK without their father, and your sister must be really struggling too. I don't see how you claim the dog has irrevocably settled into your home in 7 months, yet your nieces and nephews can just adjust to being back in the UK without their dad or their dog and be absolutely fine. Those children have trauma and need their dog.

I’m sorry but it’s their dog the only way anyone could ever justify keeping a dog in this set of circumstances is if they thought it would be mistreated if returned. Your sister trusted you and you’re letting her and her children down at one of the hardest points in their lives.

Upset that people like you are making it into something that it isn't

I’m sorry but it’s their dog the only way anyone could ever justify keeping a dog in this set of circumstances is if they thought it would be mistreated if returned. Your sister trusted you and you’re letting her and her children down at one of the hardest points in their lives.

They’re also saying that as the dog has only been with us for 7 months, we should give him back as it’s not long enough for him to have settled.

And how old is the dog? And what breed? That's completely relevant here.

I disagree with others that after 7 months a dog will be 'secure' in it's new home. I've known dogs that after 5 years still react like puppies when they see their original owners (I rescue, so I see re-homing a lot).

But honestly, regardless, I would show some compassion. She's lost her husband. Her kids have lost a dog. And the dog is their family. There are often very good reasons (as the wife of a diplomat, I have a lot of empathy for your sisters circumstances) why people leave dogs behind i.e if the climate is not suitable for them. It doesn't mean we don't care.

I’ve name changed as this is a very outing situation. I wasn’t sure whether to post in the dog house but opted for here.

My sister moved abroad 7 months ago due to her husband’s work. They were originally moving for 3 years but my sister didn’t settle there so they’ve split up and my sister has come back with her children.

When they were planning to leave, they asked if we would look after their dog temporarily for the 3 years and they would have him back when they returned. We thought it over and said we would only take the dog if it was permanent. We knew our children would get attached to the dog and didn’t want them being upset when the dog had to be returned. They looked at other options but eventually agreed, reluctantly. Microchip/ownership was changed over to us and we pay all costs.

My sister is now back much sooner than planned with her kids and they’ve asked for the dog back. He is our dog now and completely settled in with us. We would all be heartbroken to not have him.

My whole family is piling on guilt and pressure for us to give the dog back. They’re using the kids to emotionally manipulate and saying my sister has enough on her plate with the split and having her dog back would help the children settle back home. They’re also saying that as the dog has only been with us for 7 months, we should give him back as it’s not long enough for him to have settled. My niece and nephew are upset but that isn’t surprising with moving countries, being without their dad and now moving back all within a few months.

We don’t intend to give him back. He isn’t a toy to be passed around when people change their minds and plans change and he has a great life with us. If we don’t give him back, I think it will cause a permanent rift in our family. Are we being unreasonable to keep the dog because we can’t give him up? I don’t believe it’s in his best interests anyway.

I’m going against the grain and think that it’s rotten of you not to return their pet. Things change, shit happens. Get a dog of your own.

Literally the only sane response i've seen

My sisters house and garden is smaller, but not small. Our garden is huge. My sister works 3 days and her plan would be to have a dog walker take him out for 30 minutes at lunchtime but he’d be on his own the rest of those days. She’d then also have to leave him to take the kids to activities etc. She is going to be busy as a single mum and doesn’t live near us or other family.

We work from home and our dog is rarely left but he’s happy and settled when left for a couple of hours as we have cameras set up to see him. We have another dog who he adores and they’re very happy together. The both get at least 2 walks a day and a game of fetch at lunchtime. They also go swimming etc.

I’m sorry but it’s their dog the only way anyone could ever justify keeping a dog in this set of circumstances is if they thought it would be mistreated if returned. Your sister trusted you and you’re letting her and her children down at one of the hardest points in their lives.

Its clearly not the sister who was barely acknowledged by the dog when she visited and refused to go on a walk with her without OP’s husband coming too!