AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

Im confused, where did OP state that her DS was having some sort of mental health crisis? Yes she is going through the mill? Not everyone has a mental breakdown because they are going through a stressful situation.

She’s now said that as we are ‘now’ keeping the dog, we need to pay what they paid for him when they bought him as a puppy. We were always keeping the dog from when she agreed to sign ownership to us.

We have also heard and seen evidence in text messages that my sister never intended to stay in the UK but wanted to convince her husband she was to get her own way about a bigger property abroad. That fits with what we heard her talking to her husband about when she was here and when he called us to say he was concerned about her, he checked that she had asked for the dog back and kept asking if we thought she was serious. Asking for the dog back was part of convincing him she was serious about staying here to force him into getting a bigger property over there. She has got her way about the property so is going back. We are all disgusted that she would use her children and our dog like that, distressing us and our children in her games. We won’t be having any more contact with her.

She's bonkers! No 4 year old dog is going to have the same financial value now as it did when it was a puppy.

And I hate to say this, but had you handed the dog back he could have been sold by now to the highest bidder.

I hope to God she never gets another dog.

She’s now said that as we are ‘now’ keeping the dog, we need to pay what they paid for him when they bought him as a puppy. We were always keeping the dog from when she agreed to sign ownership to us.

We have also heard and seen evidence in text messages that my sister never intended to stay in the UK but wanted to convince her husband she was to get her own way about a bigger property abroad. That fits with what we heard her talking to her husband about when she was here and when he called us to say he was concerned about her, he checked that she had asked for the dog back and kept asking if we thought she was serious. Asking for the dog back was part of convincing him she was serious about staying here to force him into getting a bigger property over there. She has got her way about the property so is going back. We are all disgusted that she would use her children and our dog like that, distressing us and our children in her games. We won’t be having any more contact with her.

Because the OPs sisters behaviour is erratic and the issue was never the dog but had the OP listened, that poor dog would have been on a piece of elastic, being pinged back and forward.

The sister is in a world of hurt, she does not know what she wants and what is right or wrong. Her own kid didn't know that they had left Dad for good for crying out loud and so only found out when sister decided she was off back....without the dog. She could have taken the dog the first time, and should have if it was oh so important to her and her kids, but she didn't - she dumped it on her sister who didn't want another dog at the time but she took it to help. So its no surprise she has stated the dog can stay. Her behaviour is erratic.

Do you really not see that the sister is in no fit state to take responsibility for another life, she is struggling to cope with her own and that of her kids? I'm saying that out of sympathy for her and the OP has evidenced this throughout and has a far deeper knowledge of her sister than we do. She is quite rightly frustrated by her sisters mixed messages but nonetheless supporting her in her struggles.

They’re also saying that as the dog has only been with us for 7 months, we should give him back as it’s not long enough for him to have settled.

And how old is the dog? And what breed? That's completely relevant here.

I disagree with others that after 7 months a dog will be 'secure' in it's new home. I've known dogs that after 5 years still react like puppies when they see their original owners (I rescue, so I see re-homing a lot).

But honestly, regardless, I would show some compassion. She's lost her husband. Her kids have lost a dog. And the dog is their family. There are often very good reasons (as the wife of a diplomat, I have a lot of empathy for your sisters circumstances) why people leave dogs behind i.e if the climate is not suitable for them. It doesn't mean we don't care.

And if she continues with these demands there’s a very easy answer. All OP needs to do is deduct the money she’s spent on the dog in the last seven months and see what’s left. My guess is not much, if anything.

Is that really all you’ve taken away from this thread ?

I’ve ignored her and I’m considering whether to respond at all. We’ve been well and truly played. My parents are elderly and have been so stressed and not sleeping thinking she was such a bad place and it all been lies. My parents have been in regular contact with her husband to give him updates on the children, at my sisters request. My sister has done that knowing my parents would talk to him about how worried they are about her being so upset. It’s all been lies and game playing to get her own way. It’s unforgivable.

Give the dog back and get one of your own. The dog will adjust quickly

Why is it strange to think that it’s not in the animals’ best interests to remove it from a stable and happy home where it has the company of other humans all day and another dog with which it’s bonded, only to put it into a chaotic environment where it’s owner’s life is in upheaval and it will be alone a lot of the time ? How does this help anything that’s going on now ?

Do you think that if OP’s sister went to a rehoming centre and was honest about her present home situation they would even think of letting her have a dog ?

I think you are reading the chaotic upheaval into the sister. And I happen to think relationships with people are more important than with pets. There is no cruelty involved, it is about 2 good homes for a dog

She’s now said that as we are ‘now’ keeping the dog, we need to pay what they paid for him when they bought him as a puppy. We were always keeping the dog from when she agreed to sign ownership to us.

We have also heard and seen evidence in text messages that my sister never intended to stay in the UK but wanted to convince her husband she was to get her own way about a bigger property abroad. That fits with what we heard her talking to her husband about when she was here and when he called us to say he was concerned about her, he checked that she had asked for the dog back and kept asking if we thought she was serious. Asking for the dog back was part of convincing him she was serious about staying here to force him into getting a bigger property over there. She has got her way about the property so is going back. We are all disgusted that she would use her children and our dog like that, distressing us and our children in her games. We won’t be having any more contact with her.

I think you are reading the chaotic upheaval into the sister. And I happen to think relationships with people are more important than with pets. There is no cruelty involved, it is about 2 good homes for a dog

OP, as said further up the thread. Find out the daily cost of a medium sized dog in a boarding kennels. Multiply that price by seven, then work out how many weeks you have had him. If you get any more nonsense from your sister about paying for him. Present her with the bill for seven months board plus vets fees. She will end up owing you.

OP, as said further up the thread. Find out the daily cost of a medium sized dog in a boarding kennels. Multiply that price by seven, then work out how many weeks you have had him. If you get any more nonsense from your sister about paying for him. Present her with the bill for seven months board plus vets fees. She will end up owing you.

7 months is about 30 weeks. Take a cheap rate for home boarding of £30 per day, that's £210 per week so the total so far is now £6,300. I think that more than covers the cost OP's sister paid for the dog but honestly, I just wouldn't dignify the ridiculous request with a response.

I think you are reading the chaotic upheaval into the sister. And I happen to think relationships with people are more important than with pets. There is no cruelty involved, it is about 2 good homes for a dog