AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

507 replies

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:19

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

OP posts:

mumumental · 01/09/2026 22:57

You cooked a frozen chicken?

thisismeithinkorisit · 02/09/2026 00:27

SewYellowLikeButter · 01/09/2026 18:55

I’m not saying she should be pandered to her every whim I’m just saying perhaps this is why she seems upset aka it’s not about the roast it’s about not feeling considered or heard maybe.

Equally I don’t think it would have hurt to go along with what her daughter wanted when all she asked was can they eat something other than roast. Not everytime but op doesn’t say she’s ever made this request before.

Show quote history

but you're assuming there was only op and her daughter to consider
and that op wanting a roast doesn't matter.

op had a roast
she cooked a separate meal for her daughter, as well as there being left overs.
why isn't this good enough? why does the daughter have to stop anyone else having a toast?

Yourguessisasgoodasmine · 02/09/2026 00:40

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:27

Cottage pie was from last night. I don’t like using chicken past it’s sell by date. She didn’t fancy the pasta bake.

But it was in the freezer. The sell by date is therefore not applicable. It wouldn't have needed freezing in first place f it was within its sell by date. (BTW I assume you mean use by date not sell by date)
Are you and/or your daughter drunk? You are rambling on about frozen chicken, sell by dates, pasta bakes and cottage pie!
No sense to be found here.

peakyblenders · 02/09/2026 01:50

MyPinkOtter · 01/09/2026 22:50

I think there are a lot of variables that go into determining whether you perceive this as ‘trivial’ or not. Our own upbringings, cultural backgrounds and general relationships with food, cooking and family probably play a part in how we see this.

For some people, preparing and serving food for others, especially family, can be a huge point of pride and laden with deeper meaning. I’m thinking of my friends with Indian or Italian mothers and grandmothers, for example, who would spend days in the kitchen preparing for their kids coming over for a family lunch and would be utterly horrified at the thought of anyone going hungry or not having something they liked to eat!

My own mum is very much someone who shows her love through cooking and feeding people and take tremendous pride in it, and she is also extremely passive-aggressive so if she cooked something after specifically being asked not to then I know it would absolutely, 100% be a calculated move on her part 😂

But not everyone has that kind of relationship with food or those kind of family dynamics. In my husband’s (probably much more normal) family a roast really would just be a roast, and anyone being upset about it would be met with utter incredulity.

Show quote history

I’d probably agree if it had been a question of ‘shut up and eat the roast or go hungry.’ But OP literally made her DD a whole other dish, I’m struggling to see how that could in any way be viewed as hurtful…

CruCru · 02/09/2026 17:53

All - I don’t think the OP is coming back.

WiltedLettuce · 02/09/2026 21:38

Why does she think that she gets to dictate what everyone else in the house is eating?

Fine for her not to eat the roast, but she doesn't get to tell the rest of you what (not) to eat.

ClaredeBear · 03/09/2026 15:02

CruCru · 02/09/2026 17:53

All - I don’t think the OP is coming back.

Because she can’t face up to the chicken question.

Flip

1 2 ··· 16 17 18 19 20 21