AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

So the pasta bake that OP made separately for DD, was not enough?

Please read the OPs posts!

So what did she actually want you to do? If you had just made the pasta bake for everyone, would she have been happy with that?

I have read. You read MY post! If OP rang her DD inadvance and told her she has changed her mind and IS now cooking a roast.... DD then should of been informed to bring something for lunch. OP changed the original plan. Chuffing cheek.

You mean agree and make a separate meal for her DD, which she also didn’t fancy?

The DD had the temerity to think as she didn’t want the roast, no one should have it! Not happy with having a separate meal made for her!

That was unnecessarily nasty.

So you agree that the DD should be angry because the others had a roast and she had her very own pasta bake? The better option was she cooked fir herself, even though the roast wasn’t for her?

You think that OPs got a chuffing cheek? For cooking a whole separate meal for the DD?

Just wow!!

I never stated anybody should be angry. You have made that up!

I just think its odd that OP is making lame excuses about a chicken in the freezer that needed to be used. I think many have missed the point here.... OP should of just said in the 1st place we all like a roast so I will cook one. Personally I would of asked DD to bring something she wanted to eat or asked.

The whole thing is odd indeed.

So OP cooking a pasta bake for DD, which she knows she likes was wrong?

Why?

So instead of saying tough, I’m cooking a roast, she cooks an additional meal to appease the DD, because she didn’t want a roast, but that was wrong?

Why would cooking a roast and telling DD to cook her own meal be better?

again, she made her DD a separate meal. Why would it have been better if she had asked DD to bring her own? She cooked for DD. Why is it a problem if others are eating roast? DD is allergic to roast? Has philosophical or religious objections to being in the same house as roast?

🙏

The lack of comprehension on this thread is shocking! Then they double down!

@TURTLE74 we really need some clarity here!!

does DD live at home?
was the chicken in the fridge or freezer?
what sell by date are you referring to?
what is the oldest thing in your freezer?
was it a magic Mumsnet chicken that will feed you for the week?
has your daughter put her lower lip away yet?

Ah that’s true - I hadn’t read it like that.

I still find it really odd that OP had a conversation with her daughter about what to eat for a supposed family dinner and then proceeded to cook the one meal her daughter had specifically mentioned they didn’t want.

we don't know , but if she is living there at 22 no doubt for free or low cost then she should be attending the meal and not dictate what it is if. she is living away that is different re attending but she still doesn't get to dictate the meal choice, I don't quite get the bit about separate meals for kids, excepting if they are veggie or have allergies ,as a kid there was one meal option that everyone ate or you went hungry with my kids it was the same though we ate quite a few different dishes and sometimes, I had something different if they had pizza as I hated it and they loved it. Of course on special days it would be the choice of that person. Plus which my kids especially my youngest who is a good cook did a lot of cooking. As adults they were both able to feed themselves and help out/cook for housemates.

But she made the dd a meal she would like and the rest of the family ate the roast (which I’m assuming the my were happy about)

Not to go deep, but it depends on your relationship.

My mum would do the opposite of agreed-upon things between us (e.g. change plans or meals) last minute with no real consideration for my feelings, and yeah, it would upset me. But in our dynamic, it was her unconsciously reminding me that I didn't matter.

If your relationship is more normal, then it's not a massive deal :) But I'd still make her the agreed meal another time, just to make it up.

(P.s, your use of your freezer goes completely against reason?!?!)

She made the DD a separate pasta bake! 🤦‍♀️

WTF has she got to make up for?

Mm, yeah okay, not my best use of language there. 'Make up for' is a bit loaded.

But what I meant is more - if I suddenly change my mind on something preagreed, I personally would find a way to do the originally agreed thing. I don't like it when people are fickle, especially when the reason doesn't make much sense.

(Also, sometimes it's not about the 'meal', but the having it of it together, you know? Again, this is very much a 'depends on the relationship' thing. )

Well I’ve learnt I’m a soft touch apparently. What I don’t understand, and I’m surprised so few people mentioned it, is that you can do dozens of things with a chicken but everyone seems to take it for granted that if it did have to be cooked it has to be a roast. If one of my kids asked me to not make one specific thing on one Sunday I would probably agree, unless it was something I had bought specially and couldn’t repurpose. Why couldn’t you make something else with the chicken? She didn’t say don’t cook chicken. It would be the same work for me to make a chicken casserole or chicken and rice.

I notice in 19 pages OP has got her outrage about her entitled daughter but has answered none of the questions, so colour me suspicious here. People are acting like she demanded a specific menu. It’s a bit odd that she rejected the pasta bake but OP won’t answer any questions about it.

That’s so ridiculous, you can’t eat a meal together unless it’s the same meal? Give over, my youngest DS didn’t like me fish, he was fucking grateful that I made him an alternative meal when we are fish! You think the whole family have to give up a certain food type because one person doesn’t like it? Then the bratty daughter refuses the pasta bake also?

How ridiculous!

A bit odd she rejected it? It’s entitled and ridiculous behaviour!

I agree the chicken could have been used for something else

the dd is BU but so is OP - probably more so for being so wet and for not coming back to explain her theory on freezing. So I disagree that OP has come out best from this!!

No I stand by what I said. It might be entitled. But OP didn’t give any sort of explanation and I wonder if there’s details she’s omitting.

I stand by what I said the DD is an entitled brat!

After reading a bit further back, I can see you're absolutely GAGGING to have an argument with someone, and I'm going to have to disappoint you here because I'm not your gal. We see this scenario from different perspectives, and that really is okay.

Kind reminder - we have the same nonsensical information as anyone else since OP has apparently shuffled on. I will now be doing the same 😊Ta-ra!

Bye 👋