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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

507 replies

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:19

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
G5000 · 31/08/2026 13:29

OP clearly believes that all foods need to be onsumed before the 'use by' date and nobody has informed her that this does not apply if you put the food in the freezer.

cssurvivor · 31/08/2026 13:29

what is wrong with communal eating on a sunday, as long as its not a 3 line whip and a roast is an easy meal to prepare for a group

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:29

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 12:11

I’d assume not just DD and OP as she said

but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all.

But obviously some posters don’t let the facts change their view!

I’m sure if OP had written this thread without alluding to the age of the dd no one would have thought it was about an adult.

BMW58 · 31/08/2026 13:32

OP is not going to return because she doesn't want to defend her Freezer ideology or is embarrassed

cssurvivor · 31/08/2026 13:33

I agree and its a big reach but unpicking that comment , eating disorders are about controlling your body, not about food at all and obesity has nothing to do overeating per se , there are multiple causes , often it is higher in poorer groups as cheaper food is less nutritious.

Tralalalala88 · 31/08/2026 13:34

Tell her to learn to cook and get a life . Imagine getting upset at a roast being cooked at 22 .at that age I was living at home some of the time and if I didn’t like what was being cooked I would cook myself or get a take away .

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:34

BMW58 · 31/08/2026 13:32

OP is not going to return because she doesn't want to defend her Freezer ideology or is embarrassed

Edited

Or maybe she busy putting all her use by today stuff from the fridge to the freezer because she now understands the concept of a freezer.

OnlyUsername · 31/08/2026 13:36

You don't understand freezers and roasts are overrated so YABU.

NotSmallButFunSize · 31/08/2026 13:44

Fucking hell she is 22!

Make your own then would have been my response!

Thisismetooaswell · 31/08/2026 13:47

Not 'unreasonable' but odd on both counts. A chicken in a freezer would easily have lasted another week so you absolutely didn't have to use it specifically - you could have done the roast next Sunday and made something else like you told your daughter you would

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 13:49

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:29

I’m sure if OP had written this thread without alluding to the age of the dd no one would have thought it was about an adult.

Nah, the few you’re trying to force feed, cause eating disorders, you’re not caring, you’re going to sit at a lonely table would still be maintaining it was the OPs fault.

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 13:51

Thisismetooaswell · 31/08/2026 13:47

Not 'unreasonable' but odd on both counts. A chicken in a freezer would easily have lasted another week so you absolutely didn't have to use it specifically - you could have done the roast next Sunday and made something else like you told your daughter you would

She did make something else though.. pasta bake but the DD didn’t fancy that, so she had option 3, the cottage pie.

Honestly, the stress and trauma some mothers put their adult DDs through! Only 3 options for meals.

Totally outrageous!

Sahara123 · 31/08/2026 13:53

Good lord, I’ve been out all morning at a hospital appointment, I’ve come back and we’ve still not had clarification on the chicken in the freezer issue ?!

shockthemonkey · 31/08/2026 13:54

Ghastisflabbered · 31/08/2026 00:31

Your OP states

“Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to”

so which is it?

I think the OP meant she agreed to make some other (unspecified) dish. Not some other (named) dish.

OP, can you understand why people don’t get the freezer issue? Stuff in the freezer stays stable for many months, and doesn’t go off from one day to the next. So we don’t understand the urgency around the chicken. It’s strange that you’re not addressing this question that has been put to you scores of times already.

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 13:55

Sahara123 · 31/08/2026 13:53

Good lord, I’ve been out all morning at a hospital appointment, I’ve come back and we’ve still not had clarification on the chicken in the freezer issue ?!

It was taken out to make space for the unused pasta bake?

MarthaLovesLaughing · 31/08/2026 13:56

Sahara123 · 31/08/2026 13:53

Good lord, I’ve been out all morning at a hospital appointment, I’ve come back and we’ve still not had clarification on the chicken in the freezer issue ?!

I think the clarification is that @TURTLE74 has rather unusual views about frozen foods and their use by dates

catmothertes1 · 31/08/2026 13:56

TyneTeas · 30/08/2026 23:26

But you can keep chicken in the freezer for months, it isn't going to degrade for an extra week or two

I'm confused too.

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 13:58

The first suggested thread is ‘AIBU to refuse to feed the baby in the hallway’ so even Mumsnet AI is judging your daughter for being a big baby

BMW58 · 31/08/2026 13:59

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:34

Or maybe she busy putting all her use by today stuff from the fridge to the freezer because she now understands the concept of a freezer.

I hadn't thought of that 😁👍

Cherrytree86 · 31/08/2026 14:01

If you’re going to cook for your family you need to cook what they want, OP, now what you want

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 14:04

Cherrytree86 · 31/08/2026 14:01

If you’re going to cook for your family you need to cook what they want, OP, now what you want

I used to like cooking until I had kids and it has become my least favourite chore. Whilst I try to cook what I know people will eat it is a little soul destroying

if an adult child is living at home they are perfectly capable of cooking for themselves and shouldn’t expect Mum to be their personal chef

Thegirlwhowent · 31/08/2026 14:04

TURTLE74 · 31/08/2026 00:15

Daughter did not ask for any other dish to be made she said can we not have roast but I made her pasta bake

More fool you. She can easily not have the roast by... not having the roast and cooking something else for herself.

Shortbreadel · 31/08/2026 14:06

She's 22, not 12. She can sort her own dinner

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 14:06

Cherrytree86 · 31/08/2026 14:01

If you’re going to cook for your family you need to cook what they want, OP, now what you want

Which she did? So what’s the issue?

peakyblenders · 31/08/2026 15:10

CruCru · 31/08/2026 12:28

This is a bit annoying. Not everything has to be about Palestine. For whatever reason, the daughter doesn’t like roast dinners. Whether or not she is ungracious about the roast chicken or the pasta bake will make no difference to people thousands of miles away.

It's true that not everything is about Palestine, but I'd say it's also true that OP's daughter might need to get a few things in proportion.