Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make a roast when my daughter asked me not to?

507 replies

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:19

Adult daughter 22 is not a fan of roast dinners. She asked me if I could not do a roast dinner today and make something else which I agreed to. However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today but I did make a pasta bake which is something she likes as an alternative. I like to make a family dinner on a Sunday for us all. Daughter was disappointed about the roast but I explained to her I had to use chicken up but I did make something she liked as alternative. She said to me you told me you wouldn’t make a roast and she looked upset. She didn’t go hungry though as she had Cottage Pie after saying there’s nothing to eat. AIBU to of made the roast even though there was pasta dish as alternative or was she being unreasonable here as I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 31/08/2026 12:17

Tell her to grow up and buy her own house and then she can make what she likes to eat!! What did she do to help with dinner? Does she help? Do any cleaning etc or just sit on her arse and demand and bark orders?

CrispySquid · 31/08/2026 12:17

When you say freezer do you mean fridge because the expiry date listed on the chicken packaging is the date when it needs to be either consumed from fresh by or frozen by.

If you freeze the chicken, you don’t need to use it up by the expiration date! That’s literally the whole concept of a freezer. You can leave it in there for months! Am I going mad?!

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 12:18

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 12:12

So you’re not allowed to have preferences and just have to eat whatever you’re given?

I guess the UK’s rates of eating disorders and obesity suddenly make a bit more sense.

Show quote history

The dd is an adult so is perfectly capable of making her own dinner if she doesn’t like what’s on offer. We’re not talking about a 7 yo

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 12:19

One thing no one has considered - did OP buy a frozen chicken or freeze a fresh?

peakyblenders · 31/08/2026 12:19

ScottBakula · 31/08/2026 07:46

Leaving aside the whole chicken > frezzer > date issue because that's as mad as a box of ( unfrozen) frogs .

Your dd asked you not to cook a roast , you said you wouldn't but you did anyway so solely for this point yabu.

You cooked her a pasta bake instead so, solely for this point she is bu.

There was leftover cottage pie that she ate had this ( or any of its components) been frozen at any point ?
So solely for this point she is bu

So on balance she ibu.

Now come back @TURTLE74 and please explain what you think frezzers are for.

>>>> wonders if fish fingers dated Feb would make a suitable breakfast <<<<<

How on earth is OP BU for cooking something she didn't require her DD to eat??

Blueseudeshoes · 31/08/2026 12:20

This is all very confusing but ultimately she’s 22 and can feed herself and getting teary eyed about a roast is strange

CeffylCoch · 31/08/2026 12:24

Guess what OP? I buy those reduced foods with yellow stickers that are about to go out of date. Then I put them in the freezer so the date doesn’t matter! Because that’s the whole point of freezing food 😂

CruCru · 31/08/2026 12:28

BeardofHagrid · 31/08/2026 07:58

Tell her to think about the orphans in Gaza. Honestly I’ve never heard something so entitled and petty in all my life.

This is a bit annoying. Not everything has to be about Palestine. For whatever reason, the daughter doesn’t like roast dinners. Whether or not she is ungracious about the roast chicken or the pasta bake will make no difference to people thousands of miles away.

Marieb19 · 31/08/2026 12:28

What an entitled contrary young woman. The rest of the family can't have a roast dinner because she doesn't fancy one and then she turns down a dish you made specifically for her. She is old and fussy enough to buy and cook her own meals.

Lairymary · 31/08/2026 12:30

So if you hadn't made a roast, but still made a pasta bake for everyone, would she still turn her nose up? Why is she calling the shots? Did she specify what she did actually want to eat?

CharlieEffie · 31/08/2026 12:31

I think at 22 she's old enough to cook herself dinner and being upset that you made her a whole seperate meal to accommodate her is ridiculous

Lifeomars · 31/08/2026 12:32

I would just be grateful to eat anything that I hadn't cooked, been cooking almost every single day for the past 40 years.

CrispySquid · 31/08/2026 12:33

TheBlueKoala · 31/08/2026 07:24

Sorry but she's an entitled young lady. You are not doing her any favours pandering to her behaviour.

Show quote history

This. She had a freshly cooked roast available if she wanted it, pasta bake that you had especially made for her and also a cottage pie. So three options to choose from for dinner. I’d be utterly embarrassed posting this about my ridiculous child. She’s TWENTY TWO. She had a host of various different things to eat including making something herself from the kitchen or going out to have/buy food. Why are you even indulging in this nonsense?!

Also, I really need to know if you just mistyped or if you genuinely don’t understand the concept of freezing.

NavyBlueJeans · 31/08/2026 12:44

@TURTLE74 Please come back and explain properly about the chicken?!

What has happened to the pasta bake?

Pinkchickenwine · 31/08/2026 12:57

Lairymary · 31/08/2026 12:30

So if you hadn't made a roast, but still made a pasta bake for everyone, would she still turn her nose up? Why is she calling the shots? Did she specify what she did actually want to eat?

Good question, would the pasta bake that no one else wanted still not have suited the DD, or would suddenly it have been fine?

Either way it’s poor behaviour!

Redpaisley · 31/08/2026 12:58

Strawberrydelight78 · 31/08/2026 00:55

22 you say? I was cooking tea from when I was about 9. Our mum would take some meat out the freezer and we were expected to do something with it. Our nanna did do most of the chopping but she wouldn’t use the cooker so we had to do it. My disabled daughter helps me prepare veg she loves to help try stopping her. I would suggest she cooks for the family next Sunday.

Show quote history

You come from a tough family. A child cooking at 9 is nothing to be proud of.

hourspassed · 31/08/2026 12:58

If my 22 yo DD had behaved like this, I'd have been packing her bags. So she's the Queen and you're the sorry people?

Ethelrogers · 31/08/2026 12:59

BeardySchnauzer · 31/08/2026 11:48

Will no one think of the pasta bake 😱

Just thought - she could have made a chicken pasta bake instead 🤣🤣

CruCru · 31/08/2026 13:13

I’ve just reread the OP’s posts. From the way it’s written, it sounds as though the family are all expected to eat together on Sunday. I used to go out with someone whose family was like this.

My reaction depends a bit on whether the Sunday dinner is optional or compulsory. If the daughter said that she’s not really up for it this week and might do something else, would that be okay? If not then perhaps I can understand the daughter being less than gracious.

BunnyLake · 31/08/2026 13:19

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 12:12

So you’re not allowed to have preferences and just have to eat whatever you’re given?

I guess the UK’s rates of eating disorders and obesity suddenly make a bit more sense.

Show quote history

This is really hard work. 🤦‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Dumbledora8 · 31/08/2026 13:20

She sounds like a spoilt brat, and you facilitate it

ElectoralControversy · 31/08/2026 13:20

fiveyo · 31/08/2026 05:36

Did you roast the chicken from frozen? It sounds like all this happened in the space of 1 day - how did you defrost the chicken?

See, I'm wondering if she meant shed defrosted the chicken already and needed to use it within X time of doing that?

cssurvivor · 31/08/2026 13:24

I have a 21 year old , though he no longer lives with me he sometimes eats with me buts its my choice of meal, unless its for a special occasion then that is different. BTW we always ate as a family, I told both my sons that in a balanced diet, you will have your favourite meal sometimes.

fiveyo · 31/08/2026 13:26

ElectoralControversy · 31/08/2026 13:20

See, I'm wondering if she meant shed defrosted the chicken already and needed to use it within X time of doing that?

Show quote history

That would probably make more sense, however; in the OP she says “However I had a chicken in freezer that needed using up today” which strongly implies it’s in the freezer and therefore still frozen.

We definitely need clarification 😂

liveforsummer · 31/08/2026 13:29

TURTLE74 · 30/08/2026 23:27

Cottage pie was from last night. I don’t like using chicken past it’s sell by date. She didn’t fancy the pasta bake.

Why bother freezing it then? The whole point of freezing is so you can use it past its date