AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

You don't give pedos the satisfaction. What's not to get. I don't understand some of the takes on this thread.

4 year old boys and 4 year old girls should be treated the same.

At that age a.bottom on a girl is just as appropriate as it is on a little boy .

Your Nuffield suggested a bikini? Lucky you!
Mine decided to sexualise me in a two piece, wouldn’t hand them a penny

I hate to burst your bubble but covering her top will not stop any pedophile in the vicinity from fantasising if they are that way inclined.

Next time take her in a pair of swim shorts and no one will bat an eye lid because they’ll assume they are a boy . Because there’s no difference other than. Iron between children at that age

I don’t see a problem with it. Why should girls be different to boys?

We’ve gone the other way though and both kids, boy and girl, wear swim shorts and rash tops when in the pool. More skin covered equals less time I have to spend reapplying sun cream 😅

Agree. This a very recent phenomenon. Even 20 years ago it was still acceptable for young girls to wear bottoms only, and 10 years before that babies and toddlers of both sexes wore bottoms only as standard. I’m really not sure what’s changed but the idea that is a long held cultural belief is not accurate.

But they won't know for sure what that child in question looked like, it would be a guess. I don't need/won't provide that to them. It could also make them stand out to the wrong person. Speculating, but why would I enable a pedo to see a kid naked? So yes, some fabric can provide a certain amount of protection.

Hi occasionally it's not obvious, but on the whole it's pretty easy to distinguish between little girls and boys.

well plenty of people wouldn't share any photos in SM of their kids, should that mean they can't leave the house??

would you put your son in a two piece as well?

kudos to you for wearing your bikini in the street

I assume your basing it either on clothes or hair. which means you would definitely get the sex of my kids wrong, and plenty of others. not all kids for into pink / blue / long hair / short hair.

conversely it's marking her out as obviously a girl, whichoghy also might make her a target. you can't win unless you're gonna make them swim in baggy, unisex head to foot clothes!

I know what you mean, but as I was writing I was thinking about boys with long hair and girls with short hair. (And I hate the blue/pink thing, so I was imagining kids in red shorts/pants). I do acknowledge that it's sommetimes difficult to know, but I still think that you can largely tell them apart. Perhaps it's the way they move or speak perhaps. I was just disagreeing with the assertion that you can't tell which is which.

I dunno, I think it's pretty clear who is a boy or girl for most kids anyway.

No as boys dont tend to wear bikinis and swimming costumes do they?
Paedophile paradise seeing little girls with no top on.

I agree - weirder for a 4 year old to wear a bikini top than just bottoms. When I was small I just used to wear bottoms - thinks it's more common in Europe than UK (sadly).

Until she begins to get breasts or wants to wear a top...her choice, surely?

Not every man is a peado....but I'd have thought bikini top would likely draw more attention than no top at all.

They are quite obviously different scenarios 🙄

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t dress her in the full bikini, or buy a full swimsuit.
it comes as a 2 piece. Labelling someone for asking your child to dress appropriately under their policy is wrong.
teaching your kids what’s in their underwear, or swimwear is theirs and private starts at a young age.

I used to work as a TA in a primary school.

we did reading tests with pretty much the whole school every September. Bloody boring and zi used to mark them.

we had a scale that converted marks into reading age and it was different for girls and boys (girls were expected to be better at the same age),

there was only ever one child I had to ask the teacher what sex she was.

it is genuinely quite easy to tell although I don’t think I could write it down easily.

But boys the same age can wear the same swim shorts with no top and that’s acceptable? At 4 they have identical torsos.

I’m with you OP. They either have a blanket rule for all young children e.g must wear an all in one suit or not at all.

We’re all arguing from the same viewpoint though because none of us want to see children sexualised, we’ve just fallen into two camps

1. My child does not have a women’s body therefore it can be on show in public.
2. My child does not have a women’s body, however some people (in the minority) are attracted to children’s bodies therefore I’ll do my best to cover it up and not give them what they are looking for.

I believe in the first stance however I’m a realist who works for the police so I practice the second one.

We do what we can where we can. The thread is about swim costumes so in this instance I’d protect my daughter’s body from strangers. It’s very simple. In an ideal world you wouldn’t but it’s not exactly ideal.