AIBU to question a pool asking my four-year-old daughter to cover up?

I know it’s not the point of the thread but I would love to just wear bottoms when swimming. I’m envious of men just putting on a pair of trunks. I hate having to keep adjusting the straps or the uncomfortable feeling of the strap around my neck when swimming.
If it was sociable acceptable I would definitely just wear bottoms.

I think before a child is school age then just pants are fine.
Once school age put a one piece on girls or pants & rash vest. No bikinis needed.

My pre-pubescent junior school kids have spent the summer in just pants in the garden..no problem here with that as long as they are happy

@ChampagneLassie I haven't seen girls in bikinis in the local swimming pool- one piece seem to be the norm. But if they are far away from puberty like your daughter I don't understand why it should matter if she's just wearing a bottom.

4 year olds aren’t toddlers, they’re at full time school most of them.

Would you take her photo with only her underwear on and share it on social media? It’s the same thing, you don’t know everyone in that pool. Don’t give them any fuel

A bit off topic, but since when has 4yo been a toddler? Surely a toddler is 1-3 years old, and a 4yo is a pre-schooler??

I’m with you op. It’s ridiculous to have to cover a small child’s top half if she’s a girl, but not a boy. Apart from their genitals they’re the same, and to insist on covering a tiny girl’s nipples IS implying sexual
objectification.
I’m very surprised that do many of you object. Are all your little girls in pink frills and be-ribboned hairbands, wearing kiddy lipgloss?

What is the difference between a pre pubescent girl’s nipples and a boy’s?

Once a child doesn’t want to be topless, fair enough but making a 4 year old girl cover up her top half if she’s happy is ridiculous.

I use school age as a cut off because if her friends see her at the beach/pool she might be teased about 'showing her boobies'.
Yes it starts young!!

Eta mine was called a boy at tue pool today, wearing blue swim.shorts & rash vest 🙄

I don't think a swim top for a 4-year-old is necessary at all, and I would also have pushed back at the insinuation. It's just cultural conditioning.

Rash vest is a horrible phrase, makes me feel itchy. I'm sure ten years ago we just called them swimming tops.

One warning I would give OP, is that at our leisure centre something by was recently brought to my attention by another parent making a complaint at the desk.

During children’s swim lessons parts of the pool are closed, so there’s a smaller swimming space. Apparently lots of adult swimmers sit in the sauna if they arrive early for the regular swim session. The sauna faces the pool. This parent was complaining about the way the sauna users were looking at and speaking about the kids. 🤢

Signs have gone up and the layout of the swim lessons has changed. I wouldn’t have known what happened if I hadn’t overheard the complaint at the desk. The staff member might have known something gross and been trying to help?

I think it’s unusual for one adult to be able to supervise 2 kids that young swimming.

A lot of dress codes aren’t logical, but if your daughter is 4y (in England) she is presumably about to start school & no longer a toddler. I wouldn’t put a small girl in a bikini but a one-piece with Elsa / My Little Pony etc was standard when mine were young. I think it changed once they no longer needed swim nappies & were able to express a choice.

I wouldnt want my daughter not wearing a top. Theres too many weird people around.

And are you rushing out to buy her new swimwear in pink? Or have you told her theyre just being silly?

I agree with the op.
Why on earth would you cover non existent breasts with a top?
Either in the pool or in the beach?
Sounds weird to me.
Surprised so many people think it's a normal thing to do

I think boys and girls, men and women should have to cover up top and bottom. That should be the rule - one for all, no differentiation needed.

’bikinis’ for children give me the ick.

In my private garden absolutely, in a public pool absolutely no. We don’t know any of the other people in the pool, there are some wrong uns out there and I’d want my daughter protected. I couldn’t care less if she didn’t like a swimming costume, it’s not compulsory to go swimming so no cossie no swim!

Because some humans are wired wrong and we need to protect our kids in public places.

And you think a little strip of fabric across her top is going to protect her? That's pitiful.

I think you shouldn't wear anything at the pool you potentially wouldn't wear in the street 😂.

I think whilst society copes with men being topless in public (which is often 🤢), they expect females to wear something on top irrespective of age. At four your child is potentially about to start school so I'd expect a one piece swimsuit at a pool. Some pools have a one piece policy anyway. I prefer swimming in a well fitting bikini and there have been pools where I couldn't swim.

Surely a 4 year old should be more covered at the beach?! (Boy or girl)

Surely just look around the pool at other pre-teen girls and that will show whether it’s normal or not?