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Original poster

If your dad didnt bother with you, then showed up 20 years later asking for a kidney for his child - would you say yes?

236 replies

hotmumshit · 28/08/2026 15:55

Not a real scenario, watching eastenders, and have thought about being asked to donate something to an unknown sibling

I dunno, I dont know if I would 🤔

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 30/08/2026 20:17

maxslice · 30/08/2026 20:10

They are not members of my family. I consider half-siblings and step siblings family ( unlike most Mumsnetters). But if someone in my community: work, friends, groups I belong to, or just a desperate family on Facebook who had no donor matches and I thought I would likely be one, yes, I would. As I would want someone to help my children stay alive if their father and I weren’t matches. My brother received a donor’s heart valve. I am designated as an organ donor as well on my driver’s license. People who want to punish a father by letting a child die are despicable. The very least someone could do is get tested to see if they’re a match. If not, oh well. If they are, it’s time to decide what they and their conscience can live with. There are a lot of really cold, empathy challenged, people who care nothing for anyone but themselves on Mumsnet. Angry and self-righteous about it too.

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A father who has abandoned you and their child unknown to you until the so called father wanted something is hardly family.

My spare kidney would be kept firmly in my body just in case for my actual family including my own child.

maxslice · 30/08/2026 20:20

XenoBitch · 30/08/2026 20:15

You do realise that there is a huge difference between being a living donor, and donating something after you have died.
Having an organ removed is not a small operation to be taken lightly.

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I’m saying I’d do BOTH. As I said before, this is consistent with my values. Obviously, it does not for some people.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 31/08/2026 06:41

I am too old now but when I was of age, my extra kidney was reserved for my children.

No, I would not donate to a "family member" that reappeared after 20 years.

Waspy43 · 31/08/2026 08:04

the story line in Eastenders is not to donate a kidney it’s to give blood for stem cells , so this is entirely different ! They are not giving up an organ

I would def give my blood to help a stranger or a family member I knew nothing about

I am registered on the stem cell register to be called upon if I am a match

peachgreen · 03/09/2026 17:02

TY78910 · 29/08/2026 22:01

Have you ever been contacted? Just looked at the link now and it seems pretty non-invasive. But they do say worldwide so does that mean the probability of being contacted is quite high?

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No, never, and I've been on the register for ten years now.

MellowSubmarine · 03/09/2026 17:04

I wouldn’t give a kidney to anyone other than my child.

After I’m dead, the hospital can take whatever they want.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/09/2026 17:05

Poor Denise. Years ago didn’t her son get trickes
into giving his kidney away to his estranged dad?

XenoBitch · 03/09/2026 17:06

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/09/2026 17:05

Poor Denise. Years ago didn’t her son get trickes
into giving his kidney away to his estranged dad?

I don't think so. She only has the one son and he is 9.

UnctuousUnicorns · 03/09/2026 17:16

I would (if suitable) donate to my DH or DC. DGC if/when we have any. DM or DF if it had come up when they were younger. Nobody else.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/09/2026 17:19

XenoBitch · 03/09/2026 17:06

I don't think so. She only has the one son and he is 9.

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It was Dexter Hartman, I was remembering Ava’s Storyline as though it was Denise’s child!

XenoBitch · 03/09/2026 17:23

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/09/2026 17:19

It was Dexter Hartman, I was remembering Ava’s Storyline as though it was Denise’s child!

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Ah, I was not really watching it then. I remember in Holby City where Jac Naylor's mum coming out of the woodwork for a kidney from her daughter... to have it and then leave her life again.

Then there is the film 'My Sister's Keeper' where a little girl is forced to donate for her sick older sister.

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