Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

531 replies

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 17:52

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

OP posts:
ohsosomething · Today 00:11

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:08

how is it pigheaded ?

you ask someone if they want a cuppa they say no,
you ask someone if they want dinner they say no
you ask in the supermarket if the item is 0.99p

all are yes or no answers

so why when someone says you can order what you want, be any different , that was my point

When you’re spending other people’s money, it’s always within reason.

Within reason in this instance, would have been 1 potato with toppings.

Not within reason, is a pig out at their expense.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

ohsosomething · Today 00:11

When you’re spending other people’s money, it’s always within reason.

Within reason in this instance, would have been 1 potato with toppings.

Not within reason, is a pig out at their expense.

true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

OP posts:
ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:15

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

Is your friend actually your support worker?

Floatlikeafeather2 · Today 00:15

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 21:14

i dunno, im a strange fish

Oh OP, all this effort (pages and pages of it) to make yourself seem interesting and you're still so wide of the mark. You are in fact very, very boring, albeit also obnoxious and rude. I find it hard to believe anyone can be so clueless so you must just be trying (and failing) to appear disingenuous. I find it even harder to believe you've been anywhere near a university.

ohsosomething · Today 00:17

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

When it comes to budget, it’s the maximum amount they are willing to spend if say you happen to chose something expensive from the menu. You didn’t though, you chose a £7 potato with toppings. So they would have been delighted to have fed you for way under budget.

Just remember, when you’re spending other people’s money, be careful with it. That’s the decent thing to do. Don’t go on a spending spree because they gave you a budget.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:17

Floatlikeafeather2 · Today 00:15

Oh OP, all this effort (pages and pages of it) to make yourself seem interesting and you're still so wide of the mark. You are in fact very, very boring, albeit also obnoxious and rude. I find it hard to believe anyone can be so clueless so you must just be trying (and failing) to appear disingenuous. I find it even harder to believe you've been anywhere near a university.

you keep believing, the truth is out there

OP posts:
KilkennyCats · Today 00:18

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:17

you keep believing, the truth is out there

You’re actually just on the windup, aren’t you?

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:20

KilkennyCats · Today 00:18

You’re actually just on the windup, aren’t you?

nope but after so many others taking the piss with some comments what am i ment to do smile and wave and not say anything back ?

OP posts:
ohsosomething · Today 00:20

KilkennyCats · Today 00:18

You’re actually just on the windup, aren’t you?

My guess is OP is autistic rather than obnoxious, as she takes things so literally and struggles with inference.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:21

ohsosomething · Today 00:20

My guess is OP is autistic rather than obnoxious, as she takes things so literally and struggles with inference.

that i can agree with, to me yes is yes, no is no, get what you want is get what you want the budget is x etc

OP posts:
ohsosomething · Today 00:22

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:21

that i can agree with, to me yes is yes, no is no, get what you want is get what you want the budget is x etc

Okay, so now you know.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:26

ohsosomething · Today 00:22

Okay, so now you know.

yes it seems humans say is shades of grey

OP posts:
ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:29

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:26

yes it seems humans say is shades of grey

Are you going to buy lunch/dinner for your friend for the next month to show her you aren't a greedy CF then?

ohsosomething · Today 00:31

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:26

yes it seems humans say is shades of grey

They do.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:33

ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:29

Are you going to buy lunch/dinner for your friend for the next month to show her you aren't a greedy CF then?

ill try

OP posts:
ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:40

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:33

ill try

"Do or do not, there is no try."

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:41

ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:40

"Do or do not, there is no try."

in terms of the shades of grey you can only ask a person then its upto them if they accept

OP posts:
ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:44

At the very least you need to stop letting your friend pay for you. You have agency over that even if she won't let her pay for her meals. Pay for your own. Every time.

troothfairy · Today 00:54

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:41

in terms of the shades of grey you can only ask a person then its upto them if they accept

At this point it would be bloody rude of you not to insist,

FourSevenFive · Today 02:26

This thread is bizzare. Jacket potatoes at many places are snack- sized. Getting two is like getting two starters instead of a main.

This thead is a pile on of people babbling about "between the lines", but Im not sure the lines were really there before the comment and hinsight kicked-in.
Im sure many people would be happy with this order when treating someone.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 02:28

FourSevenFive · Today 02:26

This thread is bizzare. Jacket potatoes at many places are snack- sized. Getting two is like getting two starters instead of a main.

This thead is a pile on of people babbling about "between the lines", but Im not sure the lines were really there before the comment and hinsight kicked-in.
Im sure many people would be happy with this order when treating someone.

thank you

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · Today 02:40

I wouldn’t have said anything about the meals x 2. They know who you are and how specific you think. Asking for a budget is a bit strange, it’s grabby unless they’re your parents.

Firefly1987 · Today 02:48

How much were your meals coming to before the £20 budget?

EmeraldShamrock000 · Today 02:59

Life and social queues are not as simple as black or white. People don’t want to be seen as rude or greedy and at the same time they don’t want to be taken advantage of, when an offer is made, value should not automatically be placed on it.

If you had ordered a larger meal for the same price it wouldn’t have come across as grabby, but taking the maximum amount and limit in your decision is mean, you only take your share and remember to return the kindness.
She must be a very kind person.

BudgetBuster · Today 06:27

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:41

in terms of the shades of grey you can only ask a person then its upto them if they accept

Funny how you accept every single weekend. Honestly I'd be so embarrassed to meet someone every week for them to buy my meal.

Do you think you are on the spectrum?

Swipe left for the next trending thread