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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

400 replies

UpShitsCreek · Today 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Cucurella · Today 12:47

It was a beautiful proposal. Congratulations! Your friends are horrible.

jay55 · Today 12:47

They’re not really friends are they, trying to bring you down at your happiest.

HappiestSleeping · Today 12:47

Fuck them. As long as it made you happy, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Better he did something he believed you would be happy with than to just make a big show of it for everyone else.

MyNameIsTina · Today 12:47

They're arseholes. Honestly the proposal doesn't even matter - although his was still sweet. All they had to do was say congratulations!

jay55 · Today 12:47

And congratulations, it sounded super romantic to me.

iwishtoo · Today 12:48

I don't think that they are actually your friends....
And congratulations on your engagement, wishing you much happiness together.

RebeccaWh · Today 12:48

It sounds lovely and your friends are being really unkind. I would consider if they really are friends at all. Congratulations on your engagement!

TwinklyRoseTurtle · Today 12:48

Obviously when he wanted to propose the timing wasn’t right but he has done it were it’s memorable to you and how you would want it, sounds like he can’t actually wait to marry you OP! Your friend sound horrible- I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding and would perhaps distance myself or if not just don’t tell them much in future! Happy engagement!

VickyEadie · Today 12:48

I think anyone who says they want a performative "proposal" is vacuous and shallow. Ignore them and reconsider whether they're real friends to you.

Coffeeandallthebooks · Today 12:49

Congratulations 🎊
It sounds absolutely lovely and your friends sound a bit shallow. Maybe they're jealous? I wouldn't let it worry you

loulouljh · Today 12:49

That's incredibly sweet and thoughtful. A lovely proposal.

Dontevenlookatme · Today 12:50

Very, very romantic, OP, congratulations!

Your friends are jealous.

Whyherewego · Today 12:50

Sounds lovely and heartfelt. And you are happy and said yes. That's all that you need to know

OffredxJune · Today 12:50

It was beautiful they are not your friends

Bitchy jealous crones ignore them and get better people around you
Congratulations

NeverKnowinglyUnderstated · Today 12:50

That proposal sounds absolutely perfect to me, and it sounds like he really thought about it....the place where he first said he loves you is just gorgeous 🥰

Your "friends", on the other hand, are jealous, spiteful bitches and I wouldn't be going anywhere near them ever again. Are they all about Instagram, by any chance??

RampantIvy · Today 12:50

You need better friends. No-one needs an Oscar worthy performance for a proposal. They are for the narcissistic, shallow self obsessed who need to be the centre of attention.

DH proposed to me in the car after we had been to the cinema. We have just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary

And congratulations 💐

KamikazePigeon · Today 12:51

It sounds like the perfect proposal to me, too, OP. To each their own, but I hate how performative people sometimes get, wanting to video their proposal to go viral rather than it just being an intimate moment.

Your friends suck. I honestly can't think of a more romantic proposal. Wishing you and your dh-to-be so much happiness!

justthecat · Today 12:51

They’re jealous and not your friends.
Congratulations 🥳

PopTart · Today 12:51

They sound mean and spiteful to me. Congratulations on your engagement, I am sorry they have spoiled it for you. He loves you and that is all the matters x

UpShitsCreek · Today 12:51

I was so excited to tell them, we’ve been friends since we were in primary school!

my boyfriend asked what they said when I came back, all excited, so I said they said it was really sweet. Because I didn’t want him to be sad.

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife” 😭

OP posts:
timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · Today 12:52

They are not your friends.

What you describe sounds absolutely wonderful - congratulations! Flowers

DozyCrow · Today 12:52

People who want big displays and Insta pictures are doing it for the wrong reasons. It's very romantic that your fiancé remembered where he first. Said he loved you and took you back there to propose. He'd also listened to you saying you didn't like big or public proposals, so kudos to him. Sounds like a keeper OP. Can't say the same about your so called friends though.

KrazyKatty · Today 12:52

Congratulations OP. 👏

Ignore your friends, they sound rather childish and I’m guessing they’re only interested when posting shite on Tik Tok and other pointless nonsense.

knottywig · Today 12:52

Sounds perfect, your friends sound like they are superficial twonks. Do they live their lives on social media? Just tell them that it’s a good job your fiance knows you so well and better than they do!

DoYouWantHalfThisSandwich · Today 12:52

Get new friends. Do not invite these people to be in your wedding party, or even to the wedding. And massive congratulations 🥂 Your fiancé sounds like he really knows you 💖