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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

407 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
whatwouldlilacerullodo · Yesterday 13:15

It's a lovely proposal! Much better than a performative thing. Proposals are just a way to agree on marrying, and he did that in a sweet way.
Unfortunately, you need to find better friends.

Whosthetabbynow · Yesterday 13:16

Friends celebrate your happy moments not tear them down and take the piss. These aren’t ‘friends’. Congrats OP; I’d be over the moon with that proposal. Not everything has to be top show for the gram. Enjoy your authentic life xx

Happyjoe · Yesterday 13:16

Awful friends! And it sounds romantic and also, most importantly, respected your wishes about nothing showy. Kudos to you hubby to be!

Pay no attention to them. Just be happy and enjoy the moment, other people who are trying to drag you down can go do one. Congratulations :-)

Bigcat25 · Yesterday 13:16

Your boyfriend sounds so lovely and sweet. Congratulations op! That's bewildering on your friends part, given how long you e known each other.

Happyhettie · Yesterday 13:16

That is such a gorgeous idea! What a sweetie he is! Personal and private - a moment between yourselves and not performative. Sounds ideal to me!

Many congratulations to you both. 🥂

Your friends are horrible. Doesn’t sound like they are happy for you. Or are they jealous? I can’t imagine saying something unkind if someone told me how they’d been proposed to, even if it wasn’t how I would want it to be.

liletoy · Yesterday 13:16

Oh my god I fucking love that proposal! Your friends are the sad ones, jealous and bitter that you are in love with someone who loves you for you and you don’t need your nails done and dolled up to be proposed too.

congratulations! Get planning

Kez145 · Yesterday 13:16

Sounds perfect. Other than the superficial shallow friends who need cutting out of your life. Please take these comments as proof that you do not need to allow these idiots to overshadow what was an amazing proposal.

Ileithyia · Yesterday 13:16

They are not your friends.

Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 13:17

Why would posters be wondering about a visa?! Everyone is too busy thinking how horrible your friends are!

parkezvous · Yesterday 13:18

jay55 · Yesterday 12:47

They’re not really friends are they, trying to bring you down at your happiest.

Exactly this. Not everything needs to be curated for social media. Congratulations OP! It sounds like it was perfect.

Wishimaywishimight · Yesterday 13:18

I never fail to be surprised at what is considered to be friendship on here. These women are not friends. If they were they would be happy because you are happy. Don't dwell on them, they are not worth it.

Btw, congratulations!

99victoria · Yesterday 13:18

My husband proposed to me in bed! Not in the throes of romantic passion either 😂We'd gone away for the weekend for my birthday, been out for a nice romantic birthday meal at a lovely restaurant, come back to the hotel and we were sitting in bed reading when he just turned round and asked me. He didn't even have a ring. I was wearing an oversized t-shirt and no make-up 😂We went out and bought the ring the next day.

We've been happily married for 15 years now. I'm another one who thinks performative proposals are ridiculous. No photos captured our 'special moment'. The only photo I have is the photo of my hand with the ring the following day which I sent to my mum 😊

Deadringer · Yesterday 13:19

His proposal was thoughtful and heartfelt, your friends are being dickheads! So many people seem to have staged and performative proposals now, i know a few people who had 'surprise' proposals on the eiffel tower, on top of the empire state building etc, in each case they had already decided to get married and had already picked the ring. Congratulations op.

user85642879067 · Yesterday 13:19

Congrats! It sounds a lovely engagement and as it should be not some daft insta worthy performance. He thought about what you’d like and therefore must know you well.
Your friends sound mean and spiteful, cross them off the bridesmaid list!

category12 · Yesterday 13:19

Your "friends" suck.

Sartre · Yesterday 13:19

Well they’re not friends obviously. They sound like insufferable fools who spend their lives on Instagram and TikTok.

topcat2014 · Yesterday 13:20

At least you will save some money on wedding invites :)

I proposed on a wet beach in Wales on the last day of a washout of a bank holiday weekend.

Life does not all have to be insta friendly

Carryitjoyfully · Yesterday 13:20

Congratulations! That's very thoughtful and romantic of him. Your friends are horrid.

NZDreaming · Yesterday 13:21

@UpShitsCreek i was proposed to in my pjs and it was perfect.

fiorentina · Yesterday 13:21

They sound bitchy and not true friends.
Not sure how old you all
are but they sound immature and perhaps jealous.
Congratulations!

Zanatdy · Yesterday 13:22

Your friends are idiots, sounds perfect to me.

M103 · Yesterday 13:22

Your need better friends!

DoloresAbernathy · Yesterday 13:22

Sounds like a perfect proposal, love and marriages are real not fantasy films! Enjoy your lives together!

Googlelafy · Yesterday 13:23

The spot he proposed to you was special to you. Enjoy your engagement with your thoughtful fiancée and ignore the begrudgers.

WonderingAboutThus · Yesterday 13:23

Keep the guy, forget the friends.

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