AIBU to want Christmas in Thailand with our daughter?

I absolutely hate Christmas in England. It's so cold and dark and everyone's inside and nothings on

Don't know if you can afford it, but if your daughter is more able to travel than the GP (usually but not always the case), you could offer to pay her air fair. You don't know how many years the GP have left, and she has chosen to go there, which of course is her choice, but she can't very well expect everyone to put that first.
Or the fact she says they want to settle in there might mean they prefer to just focus on themselves, as they know older family can't easily come.
A lot of people don't like travelling at Christmas, so would your husband be open to a different time? Or does he feel that her saying they want to settle in means she really prefers to be left in peace? Only you and he are likely to know, or at least better than any of us strangers online.

The sleaze. The old men kiddy fiddlers who go to exploit children who live in poverty. And do.
The young men who go on holiday and in a modern example of what Victorian Whitechapel must have been like go seeking out women who are poor for sex.
And yes I know it happens elsewhere. I hate it. And it is well known for it.
Because of the people who sell illegal alcohol to tourists and probably don’t care when they die.
Because of the brutal police, get caught if someone puts heroin on you without you realising ? Executed. Or end up in a very nasty jail for a long time.
Not for me no.
Singapore also can be harsh too and not without its problems. But preferable. Thailand you can keep.

Post in reply to someone who asked why I wouldn’t want to go to Thailand.

The weekend before you go to Thailand, visit each of the elderly parents for celebration lunch/dinner.

Go to Thailand and have your close family Christmas celebration and holiday.

Due to Covid we had to make changes to our ‘traditional’ Christmas and no the world didn’t end and we all had a good time.

I am now in the position of your elderly parents and as long as you made time for me around Christmas I would be glad to switch it up on the day itself.

We’ve just booked our flights to Thailand for Christmas - been several times, it’s amazing spending Xmas day on the beach!

Sussex will always be there, fair enough your parents may not be but surely you have spent many (many!) Xmas with them?! Go!!

I don’t know why the daughter hasn’t invited them to Singapore. That is where she has moved to.

SG is like an amazing place to build a career. Low taxes, good honest government that ensured public safety.

Yes, same here.

Host or go out with the oldies on the 23nd and fly out on the 23rd. Fabulous.

Tell me about the food if you can!

I lived abroad a few years in my 20s and consequently missed a few xmases with my family. It was my choice to go and be away from everyone over Xmas. I’d never have expected them to come over.
Ive also lost both of my parents over the last few years and would kill for one more Xmas with them.
But this is Mumsnet- where kids are spoiled as much as possible and parents are a burden. So most people will say go.

we had Christmas in Thailand 2 years ago and it was fabulous - you should go!

I agree.

Go go go

Absolutely. Tell DH you're going and he can come with you or not. He doesn't get to have a veto on this.

Some Thai hotels celebrate Xmas Eve rather than Xmas Day. That's due to lots of European and Scandi guests.
It can be harder to find a Xmas day special meal at these hotels.
NY Eve was with special menus, dancing, fireworks and maybe a post Xmas compromise if needed?

I’d be genuinely curious

If he feels his parents are more family than his daughter or that was just a poor choice of words.

If he is generally just a home bod and wants to stay at home or is he more pressed about seeing his parents at Christmas because they are older.

If he is very attached to his own way of doing things and not particularly open to other people’s way of doing things?

Those would all be part of my choices for what I would want to do but honestly my heart would be with spending it with my own family abroad if needs be but everyone has their own reasons and decision making process.

Have you ever been to Thailand? It's a wonderful country,

I'd be booking flights ... he can stay home.

Spend the day with parents, then fly to Thailand on the night of Christmas day. And to whoever said who wants to spend Xmas on a plane, flights are much cheaper that day.

go for it!

Tell us!

I spent Christmas Day last year with my eldest son in Cornwall. Due to the nature of his job, he only had Christmas Day off work. It was brilliant and will always stand out in my mind for being different, and so fun. My boyfriend went to his parents house and my youngest child spent the day with his dad and my exIL's. So everyone was happy and we all FaceTimed on Christmas Day.

Just for it, what an adventure! If your husband wants to miss out, so be it.

I would point out to dh that dd1 is also family and will be on her own with her husband

I would be telling him that you and dd2 will be going and he can choose to come or stay it’s up to him

This, and what @zurigo says. It's lovely that your DD wants to welcome you to her new part of the world. It is interesting that DH says "Christmas is a family time", without factoring DD1 and her husband into that (or your and DD2's preferences). Is it less about "Christmas is family" and more about "Christmas is family - but on my terms only"?

I think you should go. You can socialise with the older relatives beforehand this year. If it's a complete disaster (I'm sure it won't be), you can always decline to do it again in future, secure in the knowledge that you gave it a fair go.

Three women want to go. One man says no.