AIBU to want Christmas in Thailand with our daughter?

I would see the parents Christmas Day but fly out the next day.

Have you looked at flights yet? We went to Tenerife last Christmas (doing an early Christmas with my family and New Year with inlaws). It was MUCH cheaper to fly out Christmas eve and back New Year's eve than going before Christmas or after Christmas.

Prices for Thailand might be totally different but in our case, it made the date decision for us.

Great idea!

As I said not agreeing or disagreeing with the husband. Just saying that may be his thinking. You never know do you. He could go Thailand and one of them passes next year. You just don't know.

But it can't be a "no" has to be a discussion at least 🤷‍♀️

She's not on her tod out there. She would have her 2 daughters with her. And actually Thailand is a great place for solo travellers

My partners dad is 99. Sone of his family members have done nothing like going away at Xmas since he was 80. That's a long while to keep putting things off. His older sister is now not in the best of health and unable to travel herself so missed the opportunity for the fact " it might be dads last Xmas)

Why wouldn't you go to Thailand, it's beautiful there and the people have been so friendly each time I have visited

But op you said you wouldn’t like it? Personally (just me) I’d be thinking of the family left behind, the cost … as nd all the people saying leave dh behind, at some stage that means ops left on her Todd out there!!

When said parents are 80 and 90? And you don't know how many years you have with them left? Yeah maybe. Not saying OH is right but I wouldn't begrudge him that either.

Surely time with wife and two kids is classed as family time. Leave him at home and go without him

Why would I be involved. Or anyone on mumsnet is unlikely to be involved in such things tbh.

Why is the booze dangerous because it's cheap

And as for severe penalties for drug smuggling. What the hell is wrong with that?

Have to love people who know all about places without ever setting foot in them

Thailand is certainly a country that sells highly dangerous booze to tourists who buy it because it is cheap.

I was expressing my opinion as to why I would not want to go there. As I was asked to.

The sex trade ( and those who control it see it as that) and child abuse is not in a small part of the country only. It extends country wide. Into rural areas where girls are recruited. The impact of it is not only in the cities. It is awful. And they are famous for it. It is recognised as a major hub for child sexual abuse and slavery.

And very pleased to hear you were not directly involved in anything of that nature !

In reply to Time for a change 26.

Do you have the sense that your husband doesn't want to travel (to Thailand at all, to Thailand over Christmas, anywhere over Christmas, or at all full stop) and is just using the first reasonable and somewhat non-selfish-sounding reason he thinks of to say no and shut down the discussion? Or do you think he would like to go but is afraid of disappointing family in the UK? If it's the latter, I'd do a little more exploring - given that his parents and yours are doing their own thing for Christmas and only seeing you for a few hours, I doubt they'd be devastated if you went away. In fact, they might even be upset if they felt they were holding you back from going!

Or is he possibly worried about a different-seeming Christmas ending up being disappointing for everyone? In that case, I think you just have to decide as a family whether or not to take the chance. Regardless of which it is, I do think a lot more discussion is needed, unless he is ready to say "no, I'm not going" - in which case you have to decide whether to go without him. Personally, I didn't love Bangkok on my first trip - it was worthwhile and interesting but quite a bit of hassle - but there are plenty of much more peaceful places in Thailand that could be great for Christmas.

And you think Singapore are more lenient with drugs?? The dodgy spirits that killed people were Laos not Thailand . And if it's child sex abuse I guess the phillipines is out also

I travel to Thailand every year. Spent last Xmas there and the same this year. Not had anything to do with the stuff you are saying. Most of that is in very small pockets of a very large contry

Go! My parents did exactly this when I lived in Singapore. My mum still talks about it years later.

She said. She thinks it's corrupt and rife for CSA.

CSA is absolutely disgusting and horrific though.

Can I ask why?

I’d do this in a heartbeat! Bollocks to staying in Sussex. GO!! Leave him at home. 🤣

I think the grandparents are a moot point as even they don't do xmas at home - they go out. It off curiousity, what do they think?

I’d go. It’s not like you have the parents over for Christmas dinner. I presume you see them briefly in evening when they are tired.
I’d celebrate with them early then see dd1. I’d prioritise seeing my adult child over parent.

Having spent Christmases in both Sussex and Thailand, Thailand gets my vote!

In all seriousness, me and DH lived abroad for years and people always made promises to visit and nobody did except my Mum. She had an amazing trip and we loved showing her around the country we'd moved. It meant an enormous amount to both me and DH that she made the effort to come half way around the world to see us. We both got loads out of it.

Also from her perspective, she would not have made a long haul trip alone but it was made easy that we were there.

Go, even without your Dh. You might not get the chance to go there and spend it with your dd.

Your daughter is as much 'family' as your parents and in-laws. You don't even have Christmas dinner with either of your parents on Christmas Day. As you and both your daughters would prefer to have Christmas in Thailand, surely the majority wins? Does your DH normally make all the decisions?

So for your husband, 'family' means ageing parents who don't have Christmas dinner with you anyway, but not your own daughter?

Of course you should go. You say your other daughter is also keen - do you mean she'd like to go too? It sounds like an amazing family trip.

I know people will say 'Well, the grandparents might not be around for many more Christmases...' and OK, maybe they won't. But equally, none of us will be around forever, including you, so don't waste your best years by not doing things with your own adult kids.

Otherwise you'll get to the point where you no longer have your elderly parents around and you'll find you've barely left yourself any time to enjoy travelling and so on before you are the elderly parents.

Yeh we had 20 years of Granny Scarf telling us she wasn't long for this world. They have had lots of Christmas days with the old uns. Its time to make some special memories with thd children for the times when the op and her husband aren't around themselves.

Today is 40 years since my mum died i was 17. I havd some wonderful Christmas memories, just not enough of them.