I can't stand my new home

To be fair wildlife is somewhat quieter in this heatwave and you may find that the house has more advantages in the cooler months.
Birds will arrive if you put up bird feeders and a bird bath.
Youre not overrun with mice, rats, coakroaches or pharoh ants which is great.
Butterflies will waft through if you plant a buddliah bush . Also any herbal p!ants attract bees.
Things could get so much better after a while but make sure you tell your husband that youre not happy at the moment and the place feels souless so that he can be on the same page as you if you decide to move and look for a place that is less overlooked and less concrete.
Its always better to have a roof over your head than nothing. Maybe people thought your options were limited in the current housing shortage?

How small is small?

Acer trees love shade and protection from the wind so would be ideal.

I've got 2 in pots in my back yard.

Give it a bit of time but if you still feel miserable then you need to have a discussion with your family.

There is no nature or nature noise

I recommend that you read a book called 'Losing Eden; by Lucy Jones. You don't need to read all of it, but I think you'll be able to relate to some of the studies in there which shows how much nature benefits us.

Your house clearly has plus points and bad points. The bad points make it sounds like it's soulless, bland place. I recommend getting 3A yellow ear plugs for when you need to sleep. Mine fall out often during the night but they are the most effective I've tried for the non-stop traffic outside.

Secondly, you need to introduce nature into your home. Try to get bare wooden furniture and lots of plants. If you're still miserable, then you might have to move eventually.

You’re not silly OP - I could not live somewhere surrounded by concrete, people, noise and with no true darkness (if you’re bothered to do some research you’ll find it’s all a ridiculously unhealthy environment to live. Back before kids we once moved after less than 6 months from one side of corridor to the other cause one place had no boiler and the new one did and I hated being cold. I think your family just got overly enthusiastic at you moving close to them and were worried you won’t move if you don’t take it. I don’t think you need to rush though, take your time and look for a place that will truly work for you - be it close to your or your husband’s family.

It sounds like you need to move eventually, but in the meantime you should do what you can with the garden. I live in a very urban environment, no garden beyond a small slab of concrete but I have plants and I get bees, butterflies, squirrels, spiders and foxes passing through. Do some research on what plants like shade. Do you have any window sills that get sun that could have some plants on? Or hanging baskets? Try to make it as homely as possible too.

Sounds like your family wanted you closer and didn't care at all about your wishes or comfort. Sorry OP

They weren't independent people to ask

Oh here we go. It must be a man problem. 🙄

@WannabeWriter1988

Do you have a copy of the paperwork which you signed before your tenancy began, OP?

To be fair wildlife is somewhat quieter in this heatwave

It depends where OP is. Unless I missed it.
We have no heatwave up where I am and haven't had for weeks. All the creatures are very out and about and noisy here

I've seen new builds that look like soulless identical brick cubes.

No private space or green space in front of a house, just a driveway where all the neighbourhood kids can play right up to your front door as if it's a shared space instead of private property. Fencing in low and shoddy. Sounds charming but it depends on the neighbourhood.

The soil in our back 'garden' was around 2 inches deep overall until you hit builder's rubble and chippings. It was 1 inch deep in some places and it was a struggle to even get wildflowers to grow in it, and many of those like poor, low fertile soil.

YANBU OP. My garden is my sanctuary and I love gardening, and all the life it brings. You need to be honest with DH. You didn't trust your gut instinct and put too much stock in the opinions of others.

If you can get out as soon as, then do it. If not, then it's time to get some green fingers. Have a look at Farmer Gracy. You can use the filter so it suggests what plants you can buy for shade/pots etc. Get some bird feeders and a bird bath. Hopefully you can entice some creatures in.

What you have described would be my idea of absolute hell. I live rurally and enjoy sitting in my garden, watching the bats zoom about, leaving water out for the hedgehogs and foxes, listening to the birds sing, listening to the cows mooing etc. I would be so unhappy - so no I don't think you are unreasonable wanting to move. I think you could perhaps sit it out but think about moving longer term. That might give you a bit of hope because I am not sure a few pots etc will make up for what you lost and the lifestyle you want to live.

Hi op
Try taking a few photos and ask AI for suggestions. Make sure you mention lack of sunshine etc. Honestly you would be amazed what it comes up with!!
Good luck x

How bad is it? Can you take a picture? Just to see if it's actually congested or if it feels that way because you've been used to a rural lifestyle.

If you have to stay, I would encourage you to buy a few enormous pots and plant things. If it's really shaded then research shade tolerant plants. It sounds sad, I would also hate living so far removed from nature.

I think you need to have a serious chat with your partner and stop asking other people's opinions. They don't have to live in your house! Tell him you are struggling with living in a built up area and want to live more rurally again. See if you can agree on a timeline. Check your contract for notice terms.

Last house our first bought waited and saved 10 years for - we had a god awful neighbour - she use to stand at bottom of drive or across road with others bitching and making shit up about us.

All my family and friends told me to ignore it - it would pass - people would see through it - they did but god it took forever. It took a huge toll on me - less so DH but he was affected as well - the relief when we moved I was postively giddy.

You feel what you feel - others don't have to live with house so don't care as much.

I'd give it time - see if you can mitigate things - if not insist on moving and stick to your guns next time.

Have a look at this article OP, for what can be achieved with pots. You won't have any wildlife if you don't plant something, so just go for it, and the wildlife will come.
https://www.floragrubb.com/garden-inspiration/inspiration-from-clarke-de-mornays-courtyard-garden

When we were accepted for it, I told my partner, my family and friends that I didn't like it and they all said I was being silly and precious and would get over it. But I haven't.

you have much more pressing concerns than your house.

(and you moved to be close to people like this?)

How old are you? Any children? Or planning children?

Sorry really curious what relevance that would be here?

@NCForOneNightOnly
The OP sounded as if she had been railroaded into this property by family and partner, told she was silly and selfish.

Do you have any useful ideas for her? Or are you just here to police other posters comments?

You should have said you did not like the house. Deal breaker. What other people think is irrelevant.

Think about it.

If children… what’s the schools like? If shit… then that could be justification for moving so soon after moving. If brilliant, then I’d suck it up.

You are homesick for nature, OP, I understand exactly,how you feel. We live in a cottage surrounded by fields, trees, and there are lots of birds, insects, darkness at night, and complete peace. We're getting old and thinking of moving somewhere on a bus route or near shops, but looking at available place they have such small enclosed gardens I know should be miserable there. I couldn't live in a street.
no solutions I'm afraid, but you are definitely not being unreasonable.hope you can sort something out.

You had a gut feel which you ignored and tried to make the best of it. You will fundamentally always miss the birds singing in the trees. I'd view this property as short term. You're renting it anyway, and have a look at your t&c's. Start looking around for where you could move to that would feel a better fit.

Don't be hard on yourself. Now you know what is a dealbreaker for you. That's valuable, see what comprises you can make on your next place to make it work for both of you

I think you are NOT being unreasonable OP.
What you describe sounds awful, especially to someone who has never been used to such an environment.
There have been so many good suggestions posted; good to look into, even a small change will help you get through till I hope you're able to find a nice place with nature near by.

Has your Dad, who is the only one to initially feel the same as you, offered any ideas to ease the situation?
Nothing wrong with appreciating Spiders either.

Spiders indicate a healthy, balanced environment, which is the exact opposite to what you're finding yourself in.
They eat massive amounts of insects, flies and other insects, which lowers the spread of insect borne illnesses.
They serve as food for birds and some small animals; so not surprising your area is lacking birds and insects; nothing natural about that!
I hope you're able to get somewhere with more of a natural environment, without too many soul-destroying days to get through in the meantime.