I can't stand my new home

A lot of more rural towns I have been to in England recently are horrendous traffic bottlenecks/rat runs in the day time, and as you say walks, heritage sites etc. often involve poor access requiring walking along busy roads etc. to get there, cars are ruining the UK IMO, there is a sort of mad desperation to the driving now as well, not sure what happened to people TBH, best guess is that they are constantly chasing the money just to stay afloat.

I grew up in a rural village - it's not now last 20 years it's been engulfed by development - but I love cities. DH grew up in a rural town - his work city based but he's the same.

Our ideal is outskirts of a city with access to city center and countryside. Ironcially my childhood village had very poor access to countryside walks - you often had to drive to do those.

I thought that was me, too. In fact, when we first sold in the city and bought a village house I used to refer to being 'back in civilisation' every time I got within a few miles of a town!

Over the years - at DH's instigating - we gradually moved more rurally till eventually we had just two, not very close, neighbours. It was incredibly peaceful and we created a wildlife-friendly 0.5 acre garden from scratch. But family were all back home by the sea on the south coast and we both realised we were missing them and the stuff to do that wasn't available where we were living.

Since buying back here, though, realisation has dawned that being surrounded by buildings and people constantly is now a culture shock too far!

Everyone’s different. I grew up in a large city so feel most comfortable and at home in busy environments. DH grew up rurally, literally middle of nowhere with the nearest neighbours about 5 miles away. We compromised with a village close to bigger towns but I hate it. Always hated it. I work in a big city so that satisfies me to an extent. Just really enjoy the hustle bustle of cities.

https://www.propertywire.com/news/rental-supply-reaches-seven-year-high-despite-sector-exits/

Neither rude nor dismissive.
And if you read my subsequent posts you’ll see just that.

Stop policing people’s conversations. It’s rude and dismissive.

You get accepted for private rentals too though. I had to fill up applications and wait to be accepted. Long gone are they days you view, say you like it and sign the contract. Unless you are in area with oddabundance of rentals ir it's a ip with dodgy landlord no one else wants

Have you bought it or is it social housing? (You said acccepted for it). If you are feeling unhappy, anxious and can’t sleep - is it really about the house or are there bigger things going on that need to be dealt with? Perhaps dealing with them will make you feel better generally.

If I was in your position I would be looking around for a new rental. It is important to feel happy where you live and life is too short to be miserable. Just knowing that you could find somewhere more suitable will keep you going and I hope you find somewhere lovely where you can breathe.

That can’t change your views from window and your room feeling dark.

OP i think you perfectly within your right nit to.like your new home and to make plans to.move when you can.

I am sorry your mum and auntie inputted negatively into you and your partner's decision.

Learn to trust your own thoughts, and express them. No one wkse should be making house move decisions for you.

Op, I don’t know the place but I think I would feel the same in your shoes. You came from a house with a lot of nature around you, and suddenly your view is some wall or someone else’s windows and no nature sounds.

My suggestion is to look for a place that ticks these boxes. As soon as you agree on the place, give two months notice and move. I know it’s an inconvenient option but in mid to longer run, you would be happier in that kind of place.

Wow, that’s pretty rude and dismissive. Any chance you are dismissive avoidant?

Please dont get a pet as an accessory to liven up your house...

Wow. Not sure how we are so lucky - although we do have foxes which might deter rats, and every house in our street has at least one cat on perpetual patrol through the gardens, so that might put them off too.

I'd stop putting out crumbs too, if rats got into our cavity walls.

Yes, the good news is they are renting so the move doesn"t rely on finding a buyer that likes stressful overcrowded living.

Just to point out all these lovely gardens are matured years and years in making...
It would be cheaper to move even if op owned than buying that many matured plants to get to that stage asap🙈

Your move was a big transition. I also live in a rural location and would feel exactly as you do if I had to move somewhere where properties were crowded together and overlooking each other.

Just my two-peneth but ultimately only you can decide if you want to stay or not.
In the meantime, it may be worth showing willing and trying to make the spaces your own.
For the garden, maybe use the fact it's devoid of life to bring some in like a Mediterranean style yard like this...

There are a .lot of landlords and second home owners trying to sell.

OK, fair enough. My marriage isn't really something I want to dissect on an open forum so I'm afraid you'll just have to take my word for it that most decisions have been driven by me. This one was not and it's not going well.

@Tringtomoz Do you mind if we take this to DM's? I'm happy to speak to you about it but don't want to clutter up the OP's thread any further.