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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

361 replies

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:43

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

OP posts:
EverMissWicklowSometimes · 01/08/2026 15:21

Call her Dad every time you speak to her from now on.

FaceEatingLeopard · 01/08/2026 15:21

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Rothburypixie · 01/08/2026 15:22

What kind of Trike were you thinking if getting DD?

Autumngirl5 · 01/08/2026 15:24

You sound completely ridiculous. Are you really that bored?

Everythingtidy · 01/08/2026 15:25

Remember Hanlon’s Razor OP:
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

BluntButEmpathic · 01/08/2026 15:25

Vodkamartini3olives · 01/08/2026 14:58

Maybe just hurry up and buy the triike then she won't keep asking. I expect after weeks of talk about it your daughter is keen to get triking.

🤣 when will mumsnet add a laughter reaction!

NullaEffugium · 01/08/2026 15:26

BluntButEmpathic · 01/08/2026 15:25

🤣 when will mumsnet add a laughter reaction!

It had one but was then abused.

OuijaBoard · 01/08/2026 15:26

Yes.

AgedPudding · 01/08/2026 15:27

To me, this is the equivalent of ppl who say ‘house’ when they mean ‘home’ in conversation with a flat-dweller

I've never thought of that. I always say 'your house' - to a few people I know who live in bungalows. Wonder if I'm annoying them?

Nousernameideaaga · 01/08/2026 15:28

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 01/08/2026 14:47

My mum used to call me a slut and tell me the only good thing about me was that I was pretty.

You need to simmer down.

😢

sorry that happened to you 😢

Anyahyacinth · 01/08/2026 15:34

AnitaCam · 01/08/2026 14:56

She has a different brain than you. Get over it. You’re mean.

I can't help thinking of 'The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat"....it could so easily be something neurological, specific and brain related. Potentially something undramatic but real for DM.

I think the really pathological thing is getting enraged by something you can easily understand (what is meant, ignore the mistake and reply to the query)

If we normalise rage in relation to this, how would people cope with delayed communication in grandchildren, post brain injury / stroke communication or very simple word blindness as our brains age, go through hormonal changes?

Are all those things a plot too?

Crudd99 · 01/08/2026 15:35

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This.

Morepositivemum · 01/08/2026 15:39

Honest question but are you always so angry or is it just around your mum- even your replies, you just seem so on edge and I used to be like this. I’d say start taking steps to try to get things more in order so a person using a word you don’t like doesn’t set you off so much. Look at job, life, money, sleep and see why you’re so on edge x

BettyJoanPerske · 01/08/2026 15:42

That sounds very annoying indeed. YANBU.

BettyJoanPerske · 01/08/2026 15:43

AgedPudding · 01/08/2026 15:27

To me, this is the equivalent of ppl who say ‘house’ when they mean ‘home’ in conversation with a flat-dweller

I've never thought of that. I always say 'your house' - to a few people I know who live in bungalows. Wonder if I'm annoying them?

That's not really the same. 'House' is a generic word for 'home'. I talk about my 'hoover' although I have a Dyson! A trike is not a generic term for a bicycle, it is a different vehicle.

Newpostnewnamenew · 01/08/2026 15:51

she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention”

I voted Yabu because of this. If you know she’s doing it for attention then you’re just making it worse by correcting her every time.

It’s like being with a toddler - don’t reward the bad behaviour with attention and eventually she’ll stop it when it doesn’t get a reaction.

CruCru · 01/08/2026 15:51

itsgettingweird · 01/08/2026 14:51

Well yrs YWBU to scream and swear at your mum.

The better way would be to look at your mum, smile and head tilt “mum, I really think we need to get you a GP apt to test your cognitive ability. I’ve been telling you a 2 wheeled bike isn’t called a trike for 3 weeks now. It’s really worrying you can’t remember”

Edited

The thing is, I think this would actually be more unkind than just shouting at the mum. Back when I was young, people would say things like “We need to get your head checked” (as a threat). This is the same sort of thing.

The OP doesn’t think her mum has dementia, she said that she does this sort of thing on purpose and has for years. Not every irritating thing that someone does is down to dementia (if they are over 60) or being neurodivergent (if they are under 60). Sometimes people are just a bloody pain in the arse.

Notaninfluencertype · 01/08/2026 15:52

I think this will be seen as not a big deal to most people, but as someone with a relative who does the same I completely agree with you. You were quite calm.

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:53

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Monty36 · 01/08/2026 15:53

It is an old fashioned word. But the word is not what you are angry about.
You are angry because she won’t use the word you prefer. And stop using the word she is used to.
As for screaming at her. Crikey.

godmum56 · 01/08/2026 15:54

OP get a fucking grip.

Happyjoe · 01/08/2026 15:54

Your poor mum! I doubt doing it deliberately.

So, I gotta ask, have you got the trike yet?
(runs and hides from the OP).

Mouldybroc · 01/08/2026 15:54

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MyDeftDuck · 01/08/2026 15:55

Blimey…….she certainly knows how to push your buttons!

Crayo · 01/08/2026 15:56

People saying it might be dementia - it’s NOT!! She was doing the exact same thing when I was a child and she was in her 30s!!

the bonsai episode was just more of the same - mentioned it once and then was asked about it for weeks whilst she deliberately used the wrong word

OP posts:
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