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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to snap after my mum kept calling a bike a trike?

361 replies

Crayo · 01/08/2026 14:43

i am looking to get my daughter her first bike. She’s 5 and has had a balance bike before but never a real bike. Everytime I speak to my mum she asks me if I’ve found a “trike” yet. I keep telling her it’s a bike I’m getting, 2 wheels” and she always says “oh yes, you know what I mean”.

Well this has been going on weeks and literally everytime I speak to her she asks about the “trike” and I constantly correct her and say “bike”. She does have a habit of asking the same question for weeks at a time and she also has form for deliberately saying the wrong words for attention and it’s tiring.

this morning I was at my mums and my sister was there. I went to toilet and when I came back my sister said “not being funny but isn’t DD old enough for a proper bike now?” I asked what she was on about as I am getting her a proper bike and she said “mum! You said she was getting a trike!”

So I lost it, screamed and shouted “stop saying it’s a fucking trike!! You know it’s not so just fucking stop it”

my sister said “Jesus Christ is there any need for that?” So I told her she’s been saying trike for weeks and it’s winding me up so she said “she gets mixed up, there’s no need to scream like that” but the annoying part is she doesn’t get mixed up!!! She does it on purpose and has been doing this for years!

OP posts:
Owly11 · 04/08/2026 15:48

Don't let her get to you. If she is doing it deliberately to wind you up then you are giving her the pleasure of succeeding. Just ignore her and don't answer any time she gets it wrong. Just pretend you haven't heard her and leave the room. Once she stops getting a rise out of you she will get bored and stop doing it. Also stop telling her your plans.

Atchamps · 05/08/2026 06:52

Some of the mother daughter relationships described on this thread are nothing short of sinister. @MyPlumHelper your mother actually intentionally winds you up, gets you pissed off and then smiles to see if she has succeeded in her mission to annoy you?? Who needs enemies when you have a mother like this

Muffsies · 05/08/2026 07:25

EligibleTern · 04/08/2026 08:13

One of the most difficult, frustrating things about people who needle and deliberately behave in subtly infuriating ways is that when their target finally snaps at them, the target looks unreasonable and like they're massively overreacting. Just see all the posts on here about how she can't help saying the wrong word and they'd never speak to their mother like that and so on. It happens in romantic relationships too. It's like some people can't believe that patterns of behaviour are real, and that the OP knows her family dynamic better than they do - they just see the one incident and respond only to that.

Absolutely correct. This is a well known belittling tactic amoung manipulators. I can't believe so many here don't see it.

Frankly, if i were OP i would absolutely not apologise, her mother knew exactly what she was doing. I'd stop giving her information and call her out every time she did it; "not this AGAIN. Get this woman a cognitive test eye roll", and then "i don"t want to talk about that mum, think of something else to say.. c'mon you can do it. Think hard."

Turn it around to her, treat her like a child, it's what she's trying to do to OP.

Usernamen · 05/08/2026 08:42

Atchamps · 05/08/2026 06:52

Some of the mother daughter relationships described on this thread are nothing short of sinister. @MyPlumHelper your mother actually intentionally winds you up, gets you pissed off and then smiles to see if she has succeeded in her mission to annoy you?? Who needs enemies when you have a mother like this

Edited

I found that story particularly disturbing too. Almost like the parent was experiencing pure glee from antagonising the child. Appalling.

Atchamps · 05/08/2026 08:50

Usernamen · 05/08/2026 08:42

I found that story particularly disturbing too. Almost like the parent was experiencing pure glee from antagonising the child. Appalling.

Snd the reaction of @MyPlumHelper when a poster expressed horror… was also white disturbing. Almost as if sticking up for her mother and can’t see how utterly vile the relationship with her mother is

Loveheart1313 · 05/08/2026 09:02

It seems a bit over the top for you to be shouting and screaming at her.

My mum does what your mum does too.

She keeps calling my car a Jeep. It’s not a Jeep it’s an SUV and I’ve told her repeatedly that it’s not a Jeep but she still does it.

She also keeps getting peoples names wrong. She will change names to a similar sounding old fashioned name. So for example if I’m talking about my son’s friend Noah she will keep calling them Noel.

It never occurred to me it could be on purpose.

Easterchicken · 06/08/2026 07:41

Of course you are unreasonable for screaming and swearing in your mum's face

Think you need to learn to manage your anger and aggression

Aoneoffname · 06/08/2026 08:22

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YoQuieroVino · 06/08/2026 08:23

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It’s because I’m abusive too, obviously 🙄

Aoneoffname · 06/08/2026 08:24

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Aoneoffname · 06/08/2026 08:49

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