To be upset DGP's are taking DC on holiday?

It’s their grandchildren, I would expect a family friend to ask but if I was leaving my kids with my dad or my sister - and was happy to do that, I’d not be worried if they decided to go away for a couple of days. They’re past of my family and have my kids best interests at heart.

Why didn’t you have the discussion with them instead of posting on here? Does your partner disagree with you and has told you that you are over reacting? Or have you not bothered to have a grown-up conversation with anyone?

Keeping kids entertained pottering at home for a whole weekend is quite different from a few hours. I see why you didn't consider that they'd want to take the kids on holiday, but day trips further afield must've been a realistic possibility. If you're only comfortable with them being in a close radius of your parents home, that did need to be specifically communicated.

When DD was about the same age as OPs children she would occasionally go and stay with DM for a few days in the school holidays. Mum's DP had a static caravan at the coast and, on one occasion while DD was staying, they went to the caravan for a couple of nights taking the DPs similarly aged DGC.

I had forgotten about it until this thread. I can honestly say I did not mind a bit and it didn't occur to me for a moment that they should have cleared it with me. I trusted my DM 100% and I was grateful that they had given DD a lovely time.

@madderthanapissedonchicken

thats a good idea, OP - cancel your trip and stay home with your children 😊

I think it’s very odd not to tell/ask you before booking but ultimately I’m sure they’ll have a great time

Yes they absolutely should have asked first.

Do you have anxiety about things they may do, that you aren't comfortable with? Speak with them and lay out the rules you want them to abide by. If your dc are staying with their dgp's anyway, why does it worry you they never mentioned it, has something happened in the past that you are uneasy about. Talk to them, l am sure all will be fine. Apologies for my initial harsh response

I know you didn't but other people have said things along those lines.

I have. Maybe it's a reason why I don't see it as a big deal.

If Grandparents have them for the weekend, they can take them away if that's what they want to do. They have never asked permission, they just tell me what they'll be up to.

Your worry is entitely rational OP. I think you should say you're not happy aboit this. Perhaps book a w/e seaside jaunt with all of you when you're back?

This totally you trust them to take care of your kids but in a venue of your choice? Sorry just dont get it. If they are caring for your children whilst you are having a child free break then who cares where it is? Honestly really cant understand the issue here

100% sort of thing my parents would do and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at. I trust my parents to care for DS and they can do as they wish with him. They took him to France for two weeks when he was 2. I do feel it’s a case of either trust them or you don’t.

As a grandparent, I wouldn’t dream of taking my grandchildren away without checking with parents first, especially at that age. Even now, with the youngest 8, if I’m taking him somewhere for the day “go ape” for example I still check in. The others are all above 11 so don’t worry for days, but I would just check in with parents if I wanted to take them away. It doesn’t do any harm, and I think it helps the parents to know where the kids are.

Trust your parents to give your children a happy time.

You have no idea how much I would love a weekend away from my kids! I’ve not had a night off since they were born 4 years ago. Just enjoy your break, they raised you didn’t they, I’m sure they’ll be grand

The children are still very small, of course the OP’s parents should tell her they are planning to take them away overnight! When I looked after my niece on a regular basis I told DSIL when I took her on a day trip to a theme park with a friend and her DC. The park was 100 miles away. I wouldn’t dream of taking anyone’s child away, family or not, without telling their parents.

MN is such a weird, parallel universe sometimes!

Edited to say @madderthanapissedonchicken perhaps your post title should have been that you are upset you were not told DC were going on holiday. I think it’s currently a bit misleading since it reads as if you are just upset they are going on holiday.

I do a lot of caring for my nephew and nieces. I prefer to make life easy for myself so it nearly always makes sense to look after them in their house rather than mine.

I don't know that I'd take them far from home by myself because that just sounds hard - it's still childcare in a different place without all the stuff that's where you expect it to be at their house.

I would check with your parents if they're worried about child-proofing of their house / whether it would help for them to stay in your house with the kids the next time you're away.

Also think about other things you can do to make going elsewhere easier.

I can’t help but wonder what the voting would have been had it been a MIL taking them away without discussion….

I agree with you. I’m surprised so many others are giving a blanket yes. It depends on so many factors. I think it’s only polite for them to ask first. For example all of our grandparents are pretty old so I would be worried about them taking my children to new places.

It’s much nicer for them to have their own break away while you are off with DH.

I used to go away with my DGP which felt like a treat rather than feeling “left behind” by DM and DF.

They’ve told you and really can’t see the issue with going on a UK weekend away it’s much nicer for your DC. I would feel grateful as their DM.

If I was anxious to this extent I wouldn’t book trips without DC while they are still young (assuming it’s not a work trip). You can’t expect your parents just to keep them at home for days.

Fair point.

I'd feel the same no matter which Grandparent it was if they can be trusted.

It’s not about trusting or not trusting the grandparents. Clearly she trusts them. But most rational parents would want to know where their very young children are sleeping at night, regardless of who is looking after them.