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Original poster

Welp i yelled so angerly at my 6 year old yesterday

143 replies

lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 00:27

I know she is not stupid, but sometimes i kinda feel she is a bit, and i can’t understand always why she does these stuff when she knows what she is doing is bad and will get scolded for it. Well yesterday i lost it.. (i use corn stratch powder under my breast bcs lot sweat..) anyways i had a 500ml bottle of it and it was pretty full, and even if i told my kid 3 times to go to sleep because she ends up having the lights on to read and that ends up she needs to go to the toilet bcs she is not sleeping or trying to. So after i told her to go back up to sleep very firmly, i thought she was sleeping until i smelled something very familiar down the living room, and omg i lost it… powder EVERYWHERE the whole stairs where covered in powder and the second floor and the attic stairs and my bed was litteraly a powder party.. the whole bottle was empty.. its not the first time she throws stuff down stairs last time it was sunscreen but it wasn’t as bad as the powder. I litteraly just don’t understand why she does it!

She is not 2-3-4 years old but soon 7! I litteraly lost it by screaming in anger «goo the F to sleep!» she was crying after that i think she got scared i have never used my voice like that before but i just lost it. Because there was litteraly no reason for her to go crazy with that powder and toss it everywhere, it was insane, powder everywhere, like i just didn’t deep clean that for 2 days ago😭 and know smell and powder everywhere.. i have punished her by no tv and no screen time. I did tell her that sneaking into moms bedrom and take stuff without asking is not ok, and it will get punishment. What else could i have done?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 13/02/2025 00:34

Not sworn at her for a start.

sesquipedalian · 13/02/2025 00:35

You could have tried asking her why she took it, and what she thought would happen when she threw it down the stairs. My daughter once painted my sheets with pink enamel paint (still not sure to this day how she managed to open it) - I was not pleased, but I certainly didn’t shout and swear. Surely a better response would have been to make your DD help you clear up the mess - if it was too late that night, then let her hoover/sweep up the next day - point out that it’s stopping you from doing fun things. I would want to know why she throws things down the stairs - most children are actually quite reasonable, but not when you have got into a shouting match with them!

nocoolnamesleft · 13/02/2025 00:36

Honestly? What she did was naughty. What you did was emotionally abusive. Screaming in anger at a 6 year old is terrifying for her. She desperately needs a big hug, and to be reassured that mum does still love her.

Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 00:41

@nocoolnamesleft may have been a bit much, but i got most mad because it was so stupid of her. She knows but she also a bit grumpy because shes getting punishment now, by no tv and no screen.

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Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 00:49

@sesquipedalian oh she knows she won’t get fun stuff for know, we went to the dentist aswell today we where supposed to go to our favorite cafe since she loves ice cream from there but since she was naughty, we didn’t go. I explained that what she did yesterday was not Ok and there for no icecream or cafe today, maybe another time when she behaves better. I could see she was dissapointed, but i think it was good for her to get consequenses. That we can’t have good stuff if we are naughty

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sesquipedalian · 13/02/2025 00:56

@lalabugirl -

What on earth are you going to do if your daughter does something really naughty? No ice cream or café or telly or screen - she’s six, not sixteen! And doing all this blows up what she did into something really big and drags it out through the whole of the next day. Sure, make your displeasure known, but I couldn’t have a whole day overshadowed by something that had taken place the previous evening. Make the punishment fit the crime - which is why I would have got her to help tidy up the mess and then moved on.

Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 01:03

@sesquipedalian i think it reasonable. But we all do dif stuff. Its like you cant get candy and icecream and toys after being naughty you have to win up on that, by not being naughty.

OP posts:
LawrenceSMarlowforPresident · 13/02/2025 01:20

You have hugely overreacted. I understand you were frustrated. However, screaming and swearing at a child is never acceptable.

I don’t really believe in punishments, but if you’re going down that route, the punishment should be reasonable. No TV, no screen time, no visit to the cafe, no ice cream, no sweets? That’s overkill. How long do you plan to keep that up?

Dianapiano · 13/02/2025 01:31

@lalabugirl
Your behaviour was abusive. How will you feel if she shares the fact the you swear at her with a teacher at school? Swearing at a child will teach her that aggressive behaviour is an acceptable response to a difficult situation. You should be modelling calm and reasonable behaviour and which gives her the chance to explain the reasons she behaved badly.
Apologise to her for swearing and explain why you were upset.

1SillySossij · 13/02/2025 01:40

What she did was very naughty, and she needs to know that pulling shit like this will make people very angry! We do not live in Disney world! If she felt scared-good! I am sure you are warm and loving usually.

Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 01:55

1SillySossij · 13/02/2025 01:40

What she did was very naughty, and she needs to know that pulling shit like this will make people very angry! We do not live in Disney world! If she felt scared-good! I am sure you are warm and loving usually.

@1SillySossij

thanks!
my mom sure did! I used to get spanked for shi like this and even less than this. She is still a lovley mom and grandma tho.

I felt at the same time that i can’t always be soft with her because she just thinks im playing around and joking. If a toddler did it yea would annoy the hell out of me but they really don’t know better. But a soon 7 year old should defently know better. And know that this will make mom mad. I just wonder if her brain goes for a toilet break while she does this because its just nosense😭

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 13/02/2025 01:56

She's 6 why aren't you doing bedtime stories with her and giving her some attention?

WhateverEh · 13/02/2025 01:57

Surely there’s no need to swear and shout. Getting her to reflect on her behaviour and feel the natural consequences (her hoovering up the mess and using her pocket money to replace the powder) is more helpful in terms of lessening such behaviours.

Fraaances · 13/02/2025 02:02

Given the circumstances she is lucky that you only yelled at her. At 7 she knows she’s being naughty. She’s much too old to be doing stupid things like that. I’m glad that there were consequences for her behaviour. (Did you make her help to clean it up, too?)

Devianinc · 13/02/2025 02:08

Are children the most infuriating things in the world. You can’t understand why they do such dumb things, lol. Because they don’t no any better. Raising little humans is probably one of the most complicated thing you’ll ever do your life. I sometimes didn’t think I’d get through it but both on my children have achieved a college education and now have family and kids of their own. God, I don’t know how I did it. I sometimes thought it would never happen bc omg, teenagers suck.

wandawaves · 13/02/2025 02:09

Geez, these replies!
If i had a 7yo intentionally empty a whole bottle of powder all over the house, I would've absolutely cracked it too OP!
Would I have yelled "go the fuck to sleep"? No... but nothing to do with the swearing! I would've been yelling at her to get here and start cleaning.

Devianinc · 13/02/2025 02:11

And toddlers are even worse

Devianinc · 13/02/2025 02:14

My daughter dumped a gallon of milk on the floor and then a large bottle tide in my laundry room.. she graduated with honors in college

Devianinc · 13/02/2025 02:15

She’s lucky to be alive but you should see my gorgeous granddaughter

Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 02:18

@Devianinc i swear she was better behaved as a toddler never did nonsense shi like that🤣

@Fraaances yea she didn’t even do these stuff as toddler so she def shouldn’t and is to old to be doing this nonsense, yep i did my mom was litteraly fuuuuming and mad that how could i make her clean that! Since it goes to lungs and blabla.

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Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 02:20

And yea i did some of cleaning to.. felt it in my chest😭🤣 inhailing all that powder

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 13/02/2025 02:20

Fraaances · 13/02/2025 02:02

Given the circumstances she is lucky that you only yelled at her. At 7 she knows she’s being naughty. She’s much too old to be doing stupid things like that. I’m glad that there were consequences for her behaviour. (Did you make her help to clean it up, too?)

I agree with this.

I don't think you overreacted. It is not ok to create a mess like that out of sheer mischief. And it's not the first time either.

Parents are not bottomless wells of patience and it does children no good to believe there are no limits to what they can do and still be treated with a mild, "But why did you do that?"

You could apologise for swearing, but getting angry and showing it is not a problem.

Goldenbear · 13/02/2025 02:30

Fraaances · 13/02/2025 02:02

Given the circumstances she is lucky that you only yelled at her. At 7 she knows she’s being naughty. She’s much too old to be doing stupid things like that. I’m glad that there were consequences for her behaviour. (Did you make her help to clean it up, too?)

She's 6 not 7 and is she, 6 being too old for childish behaviour is a bit of a leap! Yes, exasperating but it sounds to me like attention seeking. Reading to her might help.

LawrenceSMarlowforPresident · 13/02/2025 02:31

I’ve never understood why some people are so proud of scaring and hurting their children. Of course expressing your displeasure is acceptable. Involving your child in cleaning up the mess would be appropriate too. But shouting, swearing, piling on one punishment after another? No, that isn’t how I would ever approach a situation like this.

Original poster
lalabugirl · 13/02/2025 02:32

@mathanxiety
I mean from spanks from my mom that i used to get i quickly become very obedient, and got to know better than doing stuff just to do stuff.

im not spanking her ofc

but i can’t always talk soft and ask mild and why she did that and as you said. Because then she learns even parents have their limits and boundaries. And can get very angry over stupid shi like that.

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