Welp i yelled so angerly at my 6 year old yesterday

Yes, I think it's a bit like seeing them as your adversary which many describe on here. It is very annoying to have to clean that up but 6 year olds do impulsive things.

Can't the chores wait, 30 minutes or even 15 is not going to make much difference surely?

You n ed a bedtime routine and definitely read each night.

Does she have a bath before bed?

I don't think the swearing was OK, but I would have shouted and punished her too. Children need to learn that there are consequences to actions. MN is full of threads about teens and GenZers who according to their teachers / parents / managers can't deal with life and have not learnt boundaries. When do you think this should start if not in childhood! Shouting is not "abuse" fgs.

So her being stupid isn't ok but you being even more stupid and yelling at and scaring a 6 year old is? Given you yelled at and scared her I think she's already been punished. No need to pile on more.

You've screamed at, swore at, banned TV, banned other screens, no Cafe, no ice cream, yeah you haven't over reacted at all. Having to clean up is a consequence, removal of screens is punishment, screaming at and swearing at your 6 year old is emotional abuse.

Scaring your child is not ok ever. The fact you think emotional abuse is ok doesn't mean it is. Ironic you're punishing her for a lack of regulation when you can't manage your own. Consequences are what flows naturally from an action, like having to clean up. You were horrible to then punished your child and are still punishing her. That's how you fuck kids up not make them into good responsible adults.

How are you being punished? Your actions were far, far worse than hers. What is being done to you to ensure you learn never to swear at, terrifying and emotionally abuse your vulnerable, small child again? You are a single parent, so where can she go for comfort and support when you behave like this?

If you don't know any better parenting strategies than this (and from what you have told us re your upbringing, you have never experienced positive parenting yourself and have no role models to turn to) have you considered asking Early Help services about a parenting course? You could learn age appropriate strategies for managing challenging behaviour without resulting to your current appalling conduct.

Have you apologized to your daughter yet, given her a cuddle, reassured her that you love her and that the shouting and swearing will not happen again?

Why is your child so angry and frustrated with you that she is throwing your stuff and making big messes to get your attention/exact revenge?

Because that is what it sounds like, and it also sounds like you don't make time for her and probably aren't listening to her - and that will cause frustration which a 6 year old won't be able to put into words.

Create time for her, do a bedtime routine that is not rushed and gives her time. Talk to her and LISTEN to her...

Tell her she can ask you/talk to you if she feels frustrated, rather than wait for her to get frustrated and explode and then pile on a ton of punishments because you're angry.

But telling her that means you do have to listen if she takes you up on it, you can't tell her 'not now/go away/I'm busy' etc.

Not unreasonable to shout at her. I’m sure that
most of these posters saying you should have gently asked her why etc. Sorry but no, kids need telling off when they misbehave. Throwing powder everywhere when you’re nearly 7 is not on, and i’d have shouted at her too. Sure, swearing is not good. But we all lose our temper from time to time, especially when you’re a single parent with lots of other jobs to do.

at First I was though yeah you shouted you had a human emotion, so apologise to your child for your over reaction and move on. But no how many consequences does she need because YOU are still angry about it. You’re right kids are not made of soft cotton but your child gets she did something wrong I’m not sure what continual punishments do. You shouted and swore at a 7 year old even though you are a grown adult so perhaps you should have all of your favourite things taken away for a few days right? You also keep saying your child does stupid things. Yes because she is small and her brain isn’t fully developed … yours is. Guess what your child is going to keep making mistakes and they will be annoying and silly. But just because you don’t hit her doesn’t mean that punishing her for days on end is okay. I’m really not sure why you’re dragging it out. I’m sorry that you were hit as a child for doing things children do. But apologise to your child for shouting at her and give her a cuddle and tell her you love her. I promise she won’t think it’s okay to do again but she is likely walking on egg shells for a mistake she made yesterday because you quite obviously are not over it.

Ideally you wouldn't have sworn but I think most people would lose their shit over a 6 year old deliberately doing this. It would be very different if it had been an accident.

Omg she's 6 and whilst she's ruined something that has caused mess, you have massively overreacted and likely traumatised her.

6 is still learning behaviours and emotions, you're supposed to provide her safe space.

Keep things you don't want her to reach out of the way. Lots of items has this disclaimer on it.

Give her a big hug this morning and tell her you're sorry for swearing and shouting and you were upset at the mess caused.

Perhaps you also need some counselling in learning to control your reactions calmly

"only yelled at her"...what else are you implying should have happened?

A little anger management for you I think OP, or emotional regulation.

Had you put her to bed? As in, read to her etc etc ?

She absolutely needs to know this isn’t acceptable behaviour and losing your sh*t is understandable - I don’t get all the comments saying otherwise. I also don’t think loss of treats/privileges for 24 hours is unreasonable - she will remember the consequences before she does something next time.
I lost it with my son like this a couple of times for similar reasons, he is now the most amazing Dad.
The only thing I would say is now things have calmed down are you able to speak to her and ask WHY she did this?

(OOI does the corn starch help with your breasts? I suffer with this and it leads to infection -desperate to get it under control).

I don’t think I would have sworn but I would definitely have shouted at a 6 year old who did that, and taken away treats in the days following. A friend of mine’s son did something similar which required a lot of cleaning up at Easter time - the friend took all his Easter eggs away that year, he had none. Lesson learned.

First sane response. Some responses here are why we have crazy teenagers these days who have no respect for parents, strangers, teachers and peers.

Your only wrong was the swearing. Keep up trying to be a good parent who will have a well behaved child in the future. Hopefully, she realises from this that mummy will not accept her misbehaving. Also, have her either clean up next time if it's a small mess or have her help if it's big but since it was bedtime, i understand why you hadn't done this.

Six year olds don't do this behaviour because they are happy settled children. Yes your dd needs consequences for her actions. No she shouldn't be shouted/sworn at (though understandable you lost your rag)! I wouldn't keep bringing it up either deliver punishment and move on.

But look why she is doing these attention seeking behaviour does she have a good routine at home? Boundaries, positive attention? Is she ok at school? Socially? If you can figure out why it's happening then you can hopefully stop It.

Such rubbish, I have one adult teenager and a younger one, they don't have any of these issues and the eldest who is an adult is emotionally self regulated, kind been offered all his top university places.

I was brought up similarly and had what people would refer to as 'liberal' parents, it was much more unusual in the 80s/90s and I was pretty much well behaved (I'm sure I had my moments) and did well academically. It is untrue that this upbringing leads to Teenagers that are out of control. In fact thinking back to the teenagers that were out of control in my neighbourhood, all of them had shouty, strict parents!

Actually, even if my siblings and I were not well behaved, they still wouldn't have sworn at us at 6. We were spoken to about current affairs, society and our place in it pretty much from 7 onwards, in age appropriate way and I think that makes you develop a moral code pretty quickly that stops you from making choices that are unkind.