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Original poster

To not be surprised a 35 year old with a history of eating disorder would struggle to get pregnant (lily Collins)

231 replies

Waterweight · 01/02/2025 13:36

In regards to the news lily Collins has welcomed her first child via surrogacy & the whole issues surrounding surrogacy

A few people have questioned why another celebrity has gone down the route of surrogacy when they can afford fertility treatment/time off/therapy if unable to conceive

But surely at 35+ with a history of having an eating disorder she would be, to put it "lightly" basically barren ? & Viewed as such by any professional doctor who understands realistic fertility windows & health

Not saying she didn't/doesn't deserve children but where do you draw the line at the right to have kids versus the reality of some people being unable to ?

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 01/02/2025 14:20

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:15

There’s never an excuse to borrow or hire a woman’s womb. I don’t care what she’s been through it’s disgusting behaviour.

My aunty had anorexia as a teenager for IIRC 6 years, she went on to have 5 pregnancies.

Barren is a hideous word.

It is. It originates from the days when a woman's sole contribution was seen as being a vessel for the man to plant his seed.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:21

MrsPeregrine · 01/02/2025 13:44

I don’t think you should be so judgemental unless you have walked in the shoes of someone who can’t carry a baby naturally. And don’t give me the old “why not just adopt? Because it’s not the same.

Show quote history

Your desire for a baby doesn’t trump the rights of children or the bodies and health of women

Flamingoknees · 01/02/2025 14:21

PP's comparison to puppies is a very good one.

TheKeatingFive · 01/02/2025 14:21

Gingernaut · 01/02/2025 13:50

Everyone who says "No one held a gun to the surrogate's head" is being disingenuous

Times are hard, money is extremely tight and if the last thing a woman has to sell is her own body, then capitalism has won

This is human trafficking plain and simple

Edited

This

Spurber · 01/02/2025 14:23

put it "lightly" basically barren ? if that's putting it lightly I don't want to know how you put it heavily.

Elmo2025 · 01/02/2025 14:23

Are you from the 18th century? Barren? Get a grip because YABVU.
Imagine your life is so so sad you have to start a thread like this on a public platform. Eugh, I can only imagine the sort of keyboard warrior you are.

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:23

Gingernaut · 01/02/2025 13:50

Everyone who says "No one held a gun to the surrogate's head" is being disingenuous

Times are hard, money is extremely tight and if the last thing a woman has to sell is her own body, then capitalism has won

This is human trafficking plain and simple

Edited

Perfectly put.

Lets ask ourselves why we aren’t allowed to sell our organs, but shorthand is applauded and seen as virtuous

Lovethatforyouhun · 01/02/2025 14:24

Let me know when a wealthy woman sells her body and baby to a stranger.

I’ll wait….

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/02/2025 14:25

Waterweight · 01/02/2025 13:36

In regards to the news lily Collins has welcomed her first child via surrogacy & the whole issues surrounding surrogacy

A few people have questioned why another celebrity has gone down the route of surrogacy when they can afford fertility treatment/time off/therapy if unable to conceive

But surely at 35+ with a history of having an eating disorder she would be, to put it "lightly" basically barren ? & Viewed as such by any professional doctor who understands realistic fertility windows & health

Not saying she didn't/doesn't deserve children but where do you draw the line at the right to have kids versus the reality of some people being unable to ?

How do you know that Lily hasn't already gone through all the fertility treatments available? How do you know that the surrogate wasn't very happy to give Lily this wonderful gift?

What a horrible post. Infertility is a long hard road for many women. Just leave Lily alone and be happy that she has welcomed a beautiful baby into her family.

What would YOU do if you couldn't carry your own baby?

heyhopotato · 01/02/2025 14:26

If I was a celebrity I'd 100% pay someone to be pregnant for me.

The question is really, if you had to work passively for 9 months straight with some risk to your body and then have enough money and gifted items to never work again in your life, would you do it, and most people would say yes. Plus there is the added factor about feeling good for a selfless act. And in Lily's case could lead to an ED relapse and mental health issues as well.

Don't say people only do it for expenses, that's blatantly not true. There are all kinds of separate deals in place, including hush money for not discussing it with the press.

Deathraystare · 01/02/2025 14:26

Supersimkin7 · 01/02/2025 13:40

No one has the right to children.

My friend said this until her niece could not have a baby!!!!!

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 01/02/2025 14:27

To me it's just another celebrity outsourcing potential risk to the health and body of a woman who is being exploited. As pp's said when wealthy women start doing it I'll see it as a choice.
That's not to mention the effect on the newborn who had no choice at all.

101Nutella · 01/02/2025 14:28

YABU - you don’t rot and die when you hit 35.
eating disorder or not you have no idea how many eggs she was born with, when her periods started and therefore when her fertility window will wane.

also what’s the sperm quality like? How much work did her partner do to improve it eg no alcohol, smoking , taking supplements. It’s becoming more understood how important sperm quality is for fertility, especially for pre 12 week miscarriage.

i know that it’s cool to blame women for everything but unless she’s got an eating disorder now I think this is a really odd to assume we know anything about someone else’s womb function!

gahla · 01/02/2025 14:28

Lovethatforyouhun · 01/02/2025 14:24

Let me know when a wealthy woman sells her body and baby to a stranger.

I’ll wait….

I follow this family on instagram - lovely family. 2 kids. Nice home, they seem in a good position generally.

The mum really wanted to be a surrogate, just because she loved pregnancy so much and wanted to help a woman who couldn't conceive.

I think some women generally do it for that reason. It's not always exploitative.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/02/2025 14:28

Gingernaut · 01/02/2025 13:50

Everyone who says "No one held a gun to the surrogate's head" is being disingenuous

Times are hard, money is extremely tight and if the last thing a woman has to sell is her own body, then capitalism has won

This is human trafficking plain and simple

Edited

Exactly.

When rich women are surrogates for poor women, I'll believe it's not exploitive.

TheKeatingFive · 01/02/2025 14:30

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/02/2025 14:25

How do you know that Lily hasn't already gone through all the fertility treatments available? How do you know that the surrogate wasn't very happy to give Lily this wonderful gift?

What a horrible post. Infertility is a long hard road for many women. Just leave Lily alone and be happy that she has welcomed a beautiful baby into her family.

What would YOU do if you couldn't carry your own baby?

Show quote history

Not being able to conceive yourself, tough as that is, doesn't give you the rights to another woman's womb.

As has been pointed out, wealthy women do not do this for their poorer counterparts. The power dynamic makes it all too clear what kind of 'choice' this is.

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

THIS. ^ What a disgusting thread. Calling her barren! What a horrible thing to call her. Angry Shame on you @Waterweight Hmm

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:31

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/02/2025 14:25

How do you know that Lily hasn't already gone through all the fertility treatments available? How do you know that the surrogate wasn't very happy to give Lily this wonderful gift?

What a horrible post. Infertility is a long hard road for many women. Just leave Lily alone and be happy that she has welcomed a beautiful baby into her family.

What would YOU do if you couldn't carry your own baby?

Show quote history

Personally I’d never use another woman’s body because I think it’s grotesque to do so

haveagoharry · 01/02/2025 14:32

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/02/2025 14:25

How do you know that Lily hasn't already gone through all the fertility treatments available? How do you know that the surrogate wasn't very happy to give Lily this wonderful gift?

What a horrible post. Infertility is a long hard road for many women. Just leave Lily alone and be happy that she has welcomed a beautiful baby into her family.

What would YOU do if you couldn't carry your own baby?

Show quote history

Act like an adult with a fully formed frontal lobe and process the grief that was my reality, rather than ripping a child away from its mother.

Having a child is not a fundamental right.

KimberleyClark · 01/02/2025 14:32

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 14:21

Your desire for a baby doesn’t trump the rights of children or the bodies and health of women

Show quote history

Agreed, and I am infertile.

Upstartled · 01/02/2025 14:35

BatchCookBabe · 01/02/2025 14:30

THIS. ^ What a disgusting thread. Calling her barren! What a horrible thing to call her. Angry Shame on you @Waterweight Hmm

Show quote history

New world morality principles where words are beyond the pale and trafficking babies is cool.

IncaDove · 01/02/2025 14:36

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/02/2025 14:25

How do you know that Lily hasn't already gone through all the fertility treatments available? How do you know that the surrogate wasn't very happy to give Lily this wonderful gift?

What a horrible post. Infertility is a long hard road for many women. Just leave Lily alone and be happy that she has welcomed a beautiful baby into her family.

What would YOU do if you couldn't carry your own baby?

Show quote history

I still wouldn't use a surrogate.

My uncle has kidney failure. Should he be able to buy a new kidney from a poor person?

How about prostitution? Does a man have the right to pay to rape a woman because he's not able to get sex elsewhere?

MrsEmmelinePankhurst · 01/02/2025 14:38

WhoPutTheBomp · 01/02/2025 13:59

No one who says this ever thinks of the baby who is created with the intention of inflicting dreadful trauma on it at birth - a primal wound.

Show quote history

Exactly

viques · 01/02/2025 14:43

crumblingschools · 01/02/2025 14:05

Whether the surrogate had a free choice can possibly be debatable, but the child didn’t have a choice. Totally treated as a commodity

In exactly the same way as the children of slaves were treated as commodities, owned at birth. IVF has supported millions of women to become parents, it is horrific that the same technology and skill is being used to buy and sell human beings.

ERthree · 01/02/2025 14:44

Buying children should be illegal not matter what.

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