The double standards on here are getting out of hand

Do all divorcees have to get a short haircut as a condition of receiving the financial settlement? It's like going back to the early 20th century when divorced women were frowned upon by society.

laughs in Tattle

I do agree with you OP. You are far from wrong.

It's the only motive you gave though...

Not sure about the general double standard, but in this particular case it was a man with an apparent stash of £120 grand. Which isn't precisely the same as a suggested secret money pot of a few grand.

The cancer thread made me so furious yesterday that my post was pulled and I was warned. It honestly made me lived, I still feel terrible for that man and I am probably one of those who would normally be accused of hating men tbh.

What I hate are the really shitty things people do, then make excuses for and then want other people to validate.

Right, thank you for confirming that you made up that rubbish.
Next time try harder.

I made up you describing women as being motivated by jealousy?! Err, OK....

Are you the guy who posted about your grumpy wife? You got some good advice.

Yesterday I read a thread about a woman who was considering ending her affair because her husband had been diagnosed with cancer and a few posters told her to continue and not feel guilty.

I doubt this would be the case, unless the husband was abusive.

Another poster wrote about her daughter complaining her father / posters husband was always miserable and lots of posters attacked a suggestion that the posters should try to cheer up her husband. The gist was a wife isn't responsible for trying to make her husband happy.

No one is responsible for anyone’s happiness.

If you felt that a spouse is responsible for making their spouse is happy, why are you wanting to leave your wife? Why not make her happy?

Ok, let's assume this is true and the double standards are getting out of hand.

What would you like to do about it?

Oh yes indeed.

Whenever a woman on here says ‘I’ve got a history of being in abusive relationships’ everyone immediately believes her and suggests advice, therapy, hugs etc.

At the same time, the moment anyone says their partner has told her the same thing, the response is ‘He’s lying, it’s the ‘crazy ex’ trope, he’s the common link here so it’s something he was doing’.

I doubt this would be the case, unless the husband was abusive. go and read the thread. It absolutely was.

So why isn’t it called parents net….. it’s for mums.

So what’s the point in arguing it’s just for mums anyway?

That has nothing to do with whether men are welcome and treated adequately.

Well exactly. Maybe women shouldn't be allowed to post replies, but we can have AI generated acceptable woman response to each problem?

From MN FAQ:

I'm not a mum - can still I join Mumsnet?

We hope Mumsnet isn't exclusive to mums and indeed we know we have a number of dads who log on and contribute. If it doesn't sound too pompous we think the concept of “mumming/mothering” goes beyond gender so don't feel Mumsnet is too exclusive. We did think of calling the site parentsnet.com but it just sounded so hideous.

Take it up with the site owners if you have an issue.

You have just posted:

'the fact that some women are green with envy that other females are leading very successful and fulfilling lives while they are alone and miserable.'

Would you call that statement reasonable and not based in hatred?

MN isn't one big hive mind. Individuals have different opinions about different things. There are definitely some hypocritical individuals on here who will contradict themselves based on the sex/gender of the OP, but you really can't say that there are double-standards unless the same posters posted on all the threads you are comparing.

People with common sense and good comprehension skills judge each thread on its own merits. But this is a huge forum filled with individuals from all kinds of backgrounds and with varied levels of intelligence. The nature of this being a support resource means, naturally, some people will bring their personal traumas into their responses.

In contrast to most of the people posting to agree with the OP, posters expressing an opposing view are providing more details and evidence for their position rather than those posting a ridiculous insult or stereotype such as all bitter divorcees have a short haircut and a clenched jaw.

I think a lot of it is to do with the me too movement. It really has made a divide imo.

More users = more revenue. A perfectly legit business tactic.
Doesn’t mean that there are loads of male posters though. or childless people. Mumsnet is for parents, but the ‘mum’ bit deffo gives it an air of mostly for women.

Can I just ask, genuinely, why you think it's a movement of women speaking out about sexual abuse that creates the divide, and not the sexual abuse itself? Or is that not what you meant?

I am not offering any advice in that post. I am just expressing my opinion of why some women act the way they do. Very different thing.

Yes, sure….. I believe all women who speak out about SA should be treated with respect and dignity but I don’t believe that means they are automatically believed. There needs to be an investigation etc……. To automatically believe someone when they’re saying anything at all means to subsequently treat another as guilty with no evidence whatsoever and I don’t find that fair. It means an innocent guy could have their whole world turned upside down because they have the wrong genitalia.

If I’m totally honest it is also because I have a son and I feel he’s being judged through no fault of his own other than being male.

Just to be clear, I have a daughter too and if she tells me something awful like this then I’m believing her but that’s in my capacity as her mum and not someone who is a stranger to me.

I try to take a neutral approach to everything, I try not to judge people until I have facts and evidence but it’s not always easy.