Secondary school does not allow D.Martens

If this is real, which I don't think it is, it would be an example of why behaviour is so bad in school these days, the sense of entitlement and loss of respect for authority and rules.

Your anti-bullying crusade is fine but irrelevant. They've told your DMs aren't allowed. Get her Kickers or whatever else is allowed instead. Fighting this is stupid and pointless. If you hate the school so much, put that energy into moving her to one you approve of, and get the right uniform for that.

I don’t know why you’re continually bringing up an incident your daughter wasn’t involved in to justify her wearing boots she’s proudly told adults she can kick people with? Of course they’re bringing it up you’ve both made it their problem?

YABU. You can't teach your DD to ignore school rules in case she wants to kick people hard. Buy her some school shoes.

I asked what steps have been taken about the situation and she explained that it is a complicated case involving various family members from both families, including the adults, and that the police is involved. Also both students involved are suspend.

So I assume you said "Good know, thank you. I appreciate that's none of my business but I'm glad it's being dealt with. I'll get DD the proper footwear now."

You realise your you and your daughter are just as much as a problem for the school community? I don't really want my children going to school with a girl wearing boots ready to kick someone thank you!

All my kids wear DMs for school, especially now it's freezing outside, they can wear chunky socks underneath, although if any of them said they were only wearing them to kick the bullies I'd be a bit more concerned about the bigger issue here, the issue is not the shoes, these teachers need to be doing more to get to the bottom of the bigger picture here, regardless of what shoes your child is wearing

I think you must hope that your application for a different school is successful and that your daughter can move. It’s a shame though, as you decided it was the school you wanted and it’s less than a term in.

You’ve decided that’s the hill to die on, you’ve had several meetings, you’re supporting your daughter in ignoring the expectations you signed up to when she joined the school and you’re introducing other students into your disagreement with them. It’s also implicit in what you’ve said, that you’re accepting that your daughter may be violent if she feels it is warranted.

I think that you are probably already flagged as ‘that parent’ and her as ‘that child’. You’ve gone to the head teacher over footwear, when the school is enforcing the policy you signed up to.

I hope your daughter is able to change schools and I hope the next one is all you want it to be. Otherwise, what are you going to do?

Why are you searching YouTube for violent incidents between pupils?

Exactly this. If you are part of the problem………….

Your daughter needs to wear shoes that comply with the school rules.

It doesn't matter what her reasoning is. Aside from that, her reasoning is appalling... she wants to be able to wear them so that she's capable of inflicting harm on another child. Even if it is in self defence.

I can't understand why you think that's reasonable?

And why are you looking up videos of school fights on YouTube? You're feeding into this narrative that your child is unsafe in her school, which she has no doubt picked up on. You're also feeding into the narrative that somehow the rules shouldn't apply to her because she feels differently.

Be a parent. Buy her the shoes appropriate to the rules. Very few schools permit DM boots as uniform.

Buy her some school shoes or find a school which fits with your own uniform policy!

I genuinely don't understand how you know the school uniform is shoes. And yet you send her in wearing boots, and then have an argument with school about it.

Please just follow the school rules

Sorry but I don't think DM boots are suitably smart school shoes

Dm shoes should be ok though

Move schools if I were you. If there is a bullying atmosphere at the school, GO. That's more important than the shoes/boots. It is miserable being in an environment like that.

well i've said it before and i'll say it again: British school uniform rules are utter batshit.

I've heard from family members that Docs shoes weren't allowed "because of the yellow stitching".* That would have tempted me to put on my actual steel toecapped docs and gone and asked them if they were on glue.

As it is:you're stuck now. So get school shoes and teach DD "no comment" until you can get there to talk to teachers.

*sharpie and boot polish was going to be an issue until the head backed down and "allowed" that

OP, it matters not a jot that other DC are wearing kickers. That's for their parents to discuss with the school. You parent your DC; the school policy is no boots, only shoes. Your place in this argument is pro-school. Keep your powder dry for issues where your DD really needs your support.

You might want to get that screenshot removed OP, the name of the school is clearly visible on my screen.

Are you attempting to share the (thankfully now unavailable) video of a child being beaten up? Why? It's nothing to do with your DDs shoes, and I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate someone sharing a video of your DD in that circumstance. Grow up.

Our school bans boots but not shoes so plenty of the kids wear the DM lace ups and they look really smart