To think it's ridiculous to fall out over a Facebook post ?

Why threaten that if you weren’t prepared to do it? It’s a very cruel thing to say and I would have been very hurt by that if I was your mum. You can justify it now but if what you said was what was in your original post then it absolutely was said as if you were going to withhold your child from her- you didn’t just say “I’m not speaking to you for awhile” you said she wouldn’t see her granddaughter grow up!

You both need to learn to communicate better, and I do think posting “My little family” is deliberate to make it look like your parents weren’t involved/there.

It was a deliberately “just me and mine” post about your holiday, OP, so you may as well own up to that. “My little family” doesn’t include the grandparents who were on holiday with you, so you were clearly thumbing your nose at them.

The whole thing sounds petty and awful. You said something horrible. You say she did as well.

Apologising “but only if you say sorry as well” is not apologising.

You both had an argument, said some silly things to each other. You reached out and apologised first, she refused to apologise for her part and then got upset over a Facebook post (a post which was probably spiteful but was made when neither of you were speaking!).

On balance neither of you look particular good in this but, given you reached out and she chose to further the argument, I would give her space to reach out to you to put an end to it. I wouldn’t think of it as relationship ending though, just a silly tiff where you both need space.

Stop trying to play happy families because you aren't. Your Mother is emotionally abusive and exhibits toxic behaviour. You then react and because you haven't been given the skills to react healthy, you also use emotional manipulation. Your DD is going to see all this as normal behavior.

Don't use her as childcare. Stop going on holiday together and go LC. Don't make the first move, leave her to stew.

Why are you so desperate to have her in your life? You threw out a fairly strong ultimatum and caved, sending the message that your words have no meaning. You apologise and sweep things under the rug and yet also acknowledge that she’s emotionally controlling, stubborn and treats you, your husband and his family poorly.

im not saying never see her again, im saying you need some distance and some iron clad boundaries. For instance, no holidays together, visits where you pack up and leave when she behaves poorly, following through on your words (which means you need to be careful what you threaten), ignoring any emotional manipulations and not getting caught up in playing her games.

She's been spiteful, you've been spiteful. Do you want her to have a relationship with your child? If so, I suggest you swallow your pride and edit your fb post. If not, do nothing. What does your DH think?

i can absolutely understand why she saw that facebook post as a dig. I’m afraid I’m another one who thinks you’re both total drama llamas.

"lovely holiday with my little family"

That sounds like a very deliberate and very public dig at your mother.

I texted her the same morning to apologise for my part in the argument

At this point, you could have

A. Made good the threat to go non contact, or

B. Decided you needed to keep up the drama

and you chose B.

Either you want this baby in your life, or you don't

You sound as bad as each other - next time, give Facebook a miss and get some prints for an album and stop making photos of your child public

Oh don’t play dim, it doesn’t suit anyone. You know that you’ve put up a post that implies they weren’t there, “my little family”, honestly. Heres hoping you didn’t just bring them along for childcare and don’t plan on using them instead of nursery before you threatened no contact.

This is what I would do. Or your daughter will be caught in the middle soon enough. Not fair on her. Be a better parent than you had.

OP, Sounds like youhave an emotionally immature parent.

It's exhausting and I can see why you said and did as you did. I get it.

Just try and make some space between you both. Establish some boundaries of you think you can hold them or go low contact if you can't.

Also, read 'Adults of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay Gibson.

This.

Completely agree with this ☝️ OP, have you had any counselling to talk about/work on your own emotional responses, and where they might stem from (i.e. the behaviour modelled by your mum growing up)?

Are you American?

The pair of you need your heads banged together for being so tit for tat. She sounds needy and petulant, you sound childish and petulant. Not see gc grow up, that was so over the top, I'd be spitting if my d said that to me to be spiteful.
I'd leave it for awhile and let the dust settle a bit and then make contact with her.
Can your f help smooth the way?
If there is really no coming back from this then you need to consider your options, but c should be able to have a relationship with both gp, even if your h deals with it initally.

Oh FGS why so dramatic, why the ultimatum of threatening your mum with not seeing her GD growing up due to her not apologising. You both sound as stubborn and unreasonable as each other, no wonder you don't get on.
Just try to get on ??

Really, you both sound as bad as each other. Sounds like she has a history but what you said was just nasty.
Your Facebook post was passive aggressive.

Why asking this, is it even relevant? Is it because every other person seems to go for therapy? Or the spelling of mom? I believe this is a common spelling of mum up north in UK

The apple never falls far from the tree, try and break this ridiculous cycle before your daughter learns it.

You also sound very self centred and selfish.

My mom has a real issue with admitting when she's in the wrong and is as stubborn as mule. I'm 33 ….. I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable. I don't think I am.

You should have grown up by now yet you’re still acting like a petulant child. Maybe you and your mum need therapy to change the child/parent dynamic in your relationship otherwise you’ll both still be acting like a pair of drama queens when you’re in your 60’s.

I also agree that parents should stop posting pics of their kids on social media when they’re too young to consent. I think it’s a breach of their right to privacy.