To think I will always have financial stress now others have pointed this out?

At 6 yrs old there’s hardly any roots, you’re in a much better position than over half of this country, stop being dramatic.When kids go to uni they get student loans and part time jobs and they manage. You have savings but you go without eating? come on now

On what planet is saving £200 a month for the next 12 years, with compound interest, “not going to touch the sides” of university living costs? Ignoring interest, that’s £28,800. That could cover 3 years rent completely. You have £360k equity and your mortgage is less than £200k and you’re not even 40. Honestly, get a grip.

This poster says what I wanted to say! Honestly op get a hold of yourself and realise how fortunate you really are. Switch on the news.

Surely your mortgage include a plan to pay of the remainder on the house?
You split the £200 you are putting by between pension and daily living. Then you will be fine

It's totally understandable to feel nervous and anxious. But saving £200 a month for an imaginary future when you can't afford to eat THIS month is patently bonkers.

Save £150 and afford your food for the last few days.

Do look at downsizing, but I would also consider posting on the "mortgage free wannabe" section of money saving expert with what they call a "statement of affairs" (there's a template). People will be able to review it and help you see if there's anywhere you can cut down to make life more manageable.

If your mortgage is 190k, what is that costing you a month? £1300?

Do you have student loans? If you don't I think your income should be over £3000 a month, which sounds like it should be reasonably comfortable even if your mortgage is quite painful? So might be worth looking at where the money is going.

Downsize to a decent area with really good secondary schools should be your longterm plan short term overpay your mortgage while they are at primary and maximise your income or income making potential

Eat, take a holiday each year and pay for your DD to have nice experiences now. You're in a great financial position and you don't need to save as much as you are doing. Labour will probably means test everything anyway.

Overpay the mortgage first as you'll be paying more in interest here than you'd gain on her savings. Once that's done, save for her by all means but only after you've put good food on the table and had a decent holiday each year (decent might be a week in a caravan somewhere, doesn't have to be the Maldives).

As others have said, take on a lodger and use this money explicitly for savings if you want to but under no circumstances should savings take priority over food.

Hi OP
As a single parent myself I can only dream of being in your situation . I think you need some therapy . Whilst everyone wants more , tomorrow is never promised and you must eat .

Your position sounds absolutely fine. Kindly, it sounds like you need CBT or similar to help manage your financial anxiety. Skipping meals to build up savings for an event 12+ years away is irrational. You have lots of equity, you have a decent salary and one child to support. You need to be able to eat! Hope you manage to get to the root cause of your feelings. You’re doing a great job as it is supporting your child and providing a stable home environment for her 💐

You don’t need to downsize now, no need to “uproot” your dd, but you can if she goes to uni and you should for your own retirement, especially if she’s moved away by then. Have you done the studen5 finance calculations properly? Many families have nothing saved for uni or multiple children, I think you’re in a better position than you think for uni - between your savings, means testing, loans and your dd pt working.

In terms of Uni what support are you wanting to give your DC? She can have a student loan for fees, yes there will be a shortfall in terms of accommodation from her loan (my DSS just graduated) and he had a shortfall of about 2k for accommodation for the year. He then worked the summer leading up to uni and every summer inbetween to have spends for uni. We then paid his phone bill , gym and gave him £100 a month, as did his Mum.

You don’t need to be saving 10s of thousands of £ for this…..

Anyone thinking that their kids don't need help to go to uni could be in for a shock.

Whilst the loans for the Tution fees are guaranteed. Maintenance loans (for living and accommodation) are always means tested. You only get the full amount if the household income is under 25k.

My kids can only borrow the minimum loan which is about £4.5k. First year halls was about £8k so that's a 3.5k deficit before even thinking about food.

So I don't think the OP is crazy for considering this, however she certainly shouldn't be thinking about going without meals because of it.

Although you owe money on your house, you have a lot more equity in it over and above that. You don’t need to move now to know that that money is available to realise at some point in time - and all the while you are living there it’s value is likely growing too (and at a much higher rated than you’ll ever get from a savings or bank account) If you feel comfortable with the idea of downsizing at some point, and knowing that you are as sure as you can be that your daughter is provided for in the future through anticipated inheritance, then I think it’s more of a matter of reframing the way you think of your current house. It is more of a savings account/investment, than a forever home that you need to find a way to own outright. To that end, overpaying your mortgage perhaps isn’t the best option for you, rather, give yourself a little more to live with each month to feel a bit less like you’re struggling in the now, safe in the knowledge that your house is already a pretty hefty savings pot

You do not need to downsize - you have £20k in the bank for a rainy day and you are putting £200 a month into your dd bank account - you have options that don't involve a massive upheaval.
We saved for our kids but it went into a bank account with our name on it and if for some reason we couldn't pay the mortgage or the electricity bill I would have has no qualms about dipping into their savings and paying the bill - providing a stable home for my kids is basic - that's what you do first and foremost - a big savings pot is luxury level - it's not needed - you need to prioritise.
Do some reading on how to create a budget with the right priorities - does Martin Lewis how a section on how to budget plan?

Means tested if they put your name/income on the application, if they don’t they qualify for max loan and you help them through. It does mean they’ll have a bigger debt when they finish but …

I have three DC. I was not able to support any of them financially through uni nor gift them deposits. Neither were their GPs. Two went to uni using the loans available and part time jobs. They had a good time, got excellent degrees and have jobs they enjoy in the professions of choice. Both are home owners. The third chose to take a degree apprenticeship, has earned from 18 and now outearns both their siblings. They have saved double they need for a house deposit but are at home through choice as only early 20s and single. My advice to you is look after your own security. Do not rely on inheritance to clear your mortgage. As you say, this is not guaranteed. Encourage your DD to expect to be self reliant, then anything she is gifted will be a bonus.

What rubbish how do you think everyone else manages who is in the middle, can’t get a full loan but can’t afford to save or subsidise?
Not everyone’s in a position to do as you and OP are suggesting, in fact many are not.

I have a young friend with a part time job and two children, who is also raising them alone, with not a lot of help from their father. I very much doubt she is able to save anything for their future, and I also doubt she has savings. She does however manage to eat good food every day. I'm sorry but you are being ridiculous, and seem to have no clue how other people live.

Also to add, a lot might happen between age 6 and 17/18 in terms of uni costs. Admittedly it’s most likely that they’ll go up, but right now for example, graduate apprenticeships are a really good and viable way to gain a degree without tuition fees and whilst earning

You’re saving £200 a month for uni!! My friends with DC at uni pay about £400 a month. The rest is student loans and they get a JOB and support themselves! You’re acting like you’re on the breadline when you have thousands in the bank and the ability to save £200 a MONTH! Get a grip

Is her other parent not contributing at all? Are you claiming child benefit and using tax free childcare for any wrap around/holiday care?

This clearly has to be a joke. Imagine being a single parent living in a 550,000 house and on more than 50grand and saying you have money issues.
Move to a different area, buy a cheaper house! You're child doesn't need your money to go to uni, they pay the amount back each month after they've graduated and earn a high wage.

In your position, I would try and find a cheaper property, but even if I couldn't, I would put the 20,000 in a high interest savings account and just monitor it. Use the money you save monthly to feed yourself and for living expenses. If you have a little left at the end of the year, shove that away too. It will soon grow, allow yourself some breathing space.

I'm almost 40 with 2 kids and I have 4.5k in savings and I am not yet a property owner, so I'd say you're doing ok 😂

I don’t know what the deal is with your child’s Dad but the issue really is it’s all down to you and therein lies the stress of being a single parent. I’m older than you and amongst my peer group there were two women who were single parents who were abandoned when PG so did it all themselves. One of them had her ex move overseas for 18 years and then move back so he paid zero CM.

That’s very probably the root of why deep down you are very stressed. Their lives for sure were far harder than people who had two incomes.

Donwsizing isn’t a bad idea but the market is terrible currently. I have two friends trying to sell, sounds like you are getting in to higher market price wise for your area. You need to chill out about your child and University. My DS has ended up doing a degree apprenticeship which has cost zero in tuition fees and he has a guaranteed job. HE is in an absolute state currently, it is my old sector as have retired and I still have loads of friends who work in various Universities. Who knows what shape it will be in 12 years. Halve what you put aside for your child.