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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think teacher was rude or aibu

144 replies

Pink115 · 22/07/2024 09:01

My DD (4) has beautifully curly hair. I put into a bobble most days at school. She has a different teacher every Friday to her usually teacher. At pick up time she had some dry grass or something in her hair as had been playing. The teacher went to get it out for her and I said thanks , she always gets little bits in it whilst playing outside and the teacher said ‘oh yeah, like a birds nest’ etc to think that is rude to say about her hair

OP posts:
willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 10:50

GrandHighPoohbah · 22/07/2024 09:10

It's going to be a long decade for you if you dwell on every little remark at school.

Lol. You’re not wrong.

Lighten up, her hair probably did look like a bird’s nest with bits of foliage in it. I doubt she was being derogatory about her curls.

Persiancouscous · 22/07/2024 10:51

Overthinking it. I had short curry hair at that age, pretty much like a birds nest / poodle. Seems over the top to even give it a second thought

mumedu · 22/07/2024 10:52

Starlingexpress · 22/07/2024 09:08

Make a complaint and get her sacked. Go to the media and see if you can get an appearance on GMTV.
Clearly not fit to be a teacher. You should also start a petition and a gofundme.

Ha! Ha! Yes, I agree that you are overthinking it. Teachers have enough hassle and pressure. Give her a break!

ChimneySweepLiverpool · 22/07/2024 10:54

So many little kids hair is like birds nest, it's not to do with the style or shape or the hair, they just somehow pick up everything in their hair when they play

Don't worry about it

needsomewarmsunshine · 22/07/2024 10:56

Just as well OP didn't put voting on.

Walkaround · 22/07/2024 10:56

Well, you were the one who drew attention to your child’s tendency to get bits caught in her hair, not the teacher. 🤷

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 10:58

i have a curly haired daughter.. and its a bit wild and are very used too these comments, 'bird nest' 'fraggle' all of them... the teacher wasn't being mean or nasty about your daughters hair... it was a throw away comment and nothing more

Original poster
Pink115 · 22/07/2024 10:58

ok Thanks for the comments. My DD has Afro type hair so that’s why it has got to me but thanks for the opinions, I will take it onto board.

OP posts:
needsomewarmsunshine · 22/07/2024 10:59

This has to be a pfb, many parents have 'toughened up' to a lot of these things once they've had two or more.
I doubt OP will be back, she's probably read the first page and been upset.

EmpressOfTheThread · 22/07/2024 10:59

Walkaround · 22/07/2024 10:56

Well, you were the one who drew attention to your child’s tendency to get bits caught in her hair, not the teacher. 🤷

Yes, but the teacher has to be at fault here! Just because.

willWillSmithsmith · 22/07/2024 10:59

MorrisZapp · 22/07/2024 10:05

In my day it was 'straighten up Jones! You look like you've been through a bush backwards!' while everyone laughed. Ah, the before times.

Ah yes, I remember being told I looked like I’d been pulled through a hedge backwards many times, I laughed. I did used to have big hair (it was the 80s after all).

Seriously, why are people so thin skinned nowadays. It’s so you daren’t utter a word to people anymore in case you offend and god forbid you accidentally say something a bit clumsy.

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 11:00

Pink115 · 22/07/2024 10:58

ok Thanks for the comments. My DD has Afro type hair so that’s why it has got to me but thanks for the opinions, I will take it onto board.

im sorry... but the type of hair is irrelevant surely.. why has the fact she has 'afro' type hair make it any worse? or are you going down the racism route?

ChilliSquib · 22/07/2024 11:00

Pink115 · 22/07/2024 10:58

ok Thanks for the comments. My DD has Afro type hair so that’s why it has got to me but thanks for the opinions, I will take it onto board.

Me too but birds nests aren't curly.

Are you saying that you think people with curly hair have hair like birds nests?

Toptotoe · 22/07/2024 11:00

Yabu - forget it.

betterangels · 22/07/2024 11:02

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 11:00

im sorry... but the type of hair is irrelevant surely.. why has the fact she has 'afro' type hair make it any worse? or are you going down the racism route?

Show quote history

Quite. There was nothing remotely racist about that comment.

Rosa1211 · 22/07/2024 11:02

How sad to look for a negative take on this. I see the teacher's response as a factual, beautifully descriptive turn of phrase , describing how a bird's nest is constructed.
My Mum once described my hair as black as a raven's wing and soft as a lover's kiss! I've never forgotten it.

betterangels · 22/07/2024 11:04

My Mum once described my hair as black as a raven's wing and soft as a lover's kiss

How beautiful is that? Lovely.

marcopront · 22/07/2024 11:05

Pink115 · 22/07/2024 10:58

ok Thanks for the comments. My DD has Afro type hair so that’s why it has got to me but thanks for the opinions, I will take it onto board.

My daughter has Afro type hair.
I've been told she has the best hair to hide things in. I found it amusing and agreed, should I have been offended?

Longma · 22/07/2024 11:08

You'd really say "You hair is like a bird's nest" to a stranger?

The teacher isn't a stranger to the child.
Even if she only teaches the class once a week - I teach several classes once a week at primary - she really isn't a stranger to your child. I know every child's name and a bit about them, and they also know me. It's been a full year - that's a lot of time they've known one another in a school setting. I teach some less than that and the children definitely don't see me as a stranger and I doubt the parents do either!

It's a jokey comment, nothing more.

DoreenonTill8 · 22/07/2024 11:12

I don't know why everyone is wasting time commenting on this thread, surely we should be firing up the MN flaming pitchforks, ready to go all guns blazing and nuclear at the school?!
Posse ASSEMBLE!!🔱🔥

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/07/2024 11:20

Rickrolypoly · 22/07/2024 09:16

FFS, this is why we can't have anything nice.

I've got some nice things.

JudgeJ · 22/07/2024 11:21

Starlingexpress · 22/07/2024 09:08

Make a complaint and get her sacked. Go to the media and see if you can get an appearance on GMTV.
Clearly not fit to be a teacher. You should also start a petition and a gofundme.

Maybe also train to be a teacher of 4 year olds and enjoy the idiotic parents' complaints, they're always a good laugh at the end of term.

Scully01 · 22/07/2024 11:23

People can be thoughtless about afro hair, so I totally get this. Afro hair does tend to get stuff stuck in It because of the tight texture but she didn't need to say that. It is a micro aggression. I hope she thought twice as soon as she said it. I was told often my hair was like a bush and it does affect your confidence. There are a lot of kids books now about loving your curls which is so different to when I was little.

JudgeJ · 22/07/2024 11:23

MrHarleyQuin · 22/07/2024 09:26

It was a throwaway remark and I would not dwell on it, but yes it is quite rude.

Hopefully the 'rude' teach will take delight in not having to deal with OP's ueber sensitive nature next year.
My youngest daughter's hair was like a Brillo pad until she was about 10.

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