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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think teacher was rude or aibu

144 replies

Pink115 · 22/07/2024 09:01

My DD (4) has beautifully curly hair. I put into a bobble most days at school. She has a different teacher every Friday to her usually teacher. At pick up time she had some dry grass or something in her hair as had been playing. The teacher went to get it out for her and I said thanks , she always gets little bits in it whilst playing outside and the teacher said ‘oh yeah, like a birds nest’ etc to think that is rude to say about her hair

OP posts:
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 22/07/2024 10:19

dollyboots · 22/07/2024 10:10

I have very curly hair. When I was teaching in Japan, one of the kids who usually wouldn’t speak English said, ‘Dolly Sensei - you have bird home on head.’ I was delighted and taught him the word ‘nest’.

I also literally got my curls caught in a low-hanging tree once and had to be rescued. It doesn’t get much more nest-like than that.

Please let her grow a thick skin along with her curls.

Bird home 😊

HoorahhoorahTheyaregoingaway · 22/07/2024 10:20

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in their droves.

Topseyt123 · 22/07/2024 10:20

Blimey, what a ridiculously silly thing to get het up over.

It was a throwaway remark as part of the conversation you were having with her. It wasn't rude in the slightest.

I honestly sometimes think that teachers should avoid interacting with parents at all whenever possible as it is clearly far too dangerous.

Crinkle77 · 22/07/2024 10:21

OP is your daughter black or mixed race? If so I can see why you might find the comment rude.

CelesteCunningham · 22/07/2024 10:21

Poor teachers.

FyodorDForever · 22/07/2024 10:21

MrHarleyQuin · 22/07/2024 09:30

You'd really say "You hair is like a bird's nest" to a stranger?

What sort of reaction do you think you'd get to that?

Have you never been taught that it's rude to make adverse comments about someone's appearance?

Edited
Show quote history

I wouldn’t, but then I wouldn’t pick bits of grass out of the stranger’s hair so the comparison doesn’t make sense at all.
We are not talking about a stranger. The context is that a child has grass etc in her hair, her own mum comments that she often finds bits in her hair: at this point of the conversation, the other person saying « yeah like a birds nest » is not a random comment on the child’s appearance, it is an answer to what the mum herself said!

Outliers · 22/07/2024 10:22

I would have raised an eye-brow particularly if child is an ethnic minority.

However, it's not overt of an offence enough for me to raise a concern.

Ineverlose · 22/07/2024 10:26

YABVU society loses a lot when all interactions are required to be perfect for everyone

MrHarleyQuin · 22/07/2024 10:27

FyodorDForever · 22/07/2024 10:21

I wouldn’t, but then I wouldn’t pick bits of grass out of the stranger’s hair so the comparison doesn’t make sense at all.
We are not talking about a stranger. The context is that a child has grass etc in her hair, her own mum comments that she often finds bits in her hair: at this point of the conversation, the other person saying « yeah like a birds nest » is not a random comment on the child’s appearance, it is an answer to what the mum herself said!

Show quote history

The question was "Is it rude?" The answer is yes.

The question is not "Shall I report the teacher to Ofsted and get them summarily thrown out of the profession?"

As I said, I personally would not dwell on it, or take it to heart (or start a thread).

Thefaceofboe · 22/07/2024 10:28

Runbunny · 22/07/2024 09:07

It's the sort of thing I'd say when I'm trying too hard to be friendly. And then spend the rest of the day kicking myself.

Edited

Haha this!

TartanJambo · 22/07/2024 10:33

Starlingexpress · 22/07/2024 09:08

Make a complaint and get her sacked. Go to the media and see if you can get an appearance on GMTV.
Clearly not fit to be a teacher. You should also start a petition and a gofundme.

😆

Runsyd · 22/07/2024 10:33

Runbunny · 22/07/2024 09:07

It's the sort of thing I'd say when I'm trying too hard to be friendly. And then spend the rest of the day kicking myself.

Edited

Same. I'm a massive blurter, but I rarely mean any harm.

Naminyolk · 22/07/2024 10:34

YABU.

She was referring to the twigs. Literally like a birds nest has them.

I don't miss being a teacher.

I mean had she had 24 hours to best consider the response that would be friendly, make you smile, respond to what you said and show she cares about your DD, she probably wouldn't have landed on "birds nest". But teachers are constantly judged on these small throwaway comments when they have to spend all day every day performing and being at their best.

If you want robotic and perfect and constantly polished then you're also going to get emotionless. What she said really wasn't much of anything at all.

brunettemic · 22/07/2024 10:34

You’ve seriously been dwelling on this since Friday?!

Gillypie23 · 22/07/2024 10:35

You're being ridiculous.

betterangels · 22/07/2024 10:37

HoorahhoorahTheyaregoingaway · 22/07/2024 10:20

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in their droves.

It surprises me anyone trains to be a teacher at this point, unless they have masochistic tendencies. No one could pay me enough to go back in any capacity.

Holandcleo · 22/07/2024 10:37

Me, I’d have agreed and laughed and felt this was the start of a nice normal relationship with that teacher.
in my opinion, a throwaway friendly comment from a teacher trying to interact in an informal way.
As others have hinted, if you go searching for things to be offended or upset about, you can spend the next 10 or so years in turmoil!

Hankunamatata · 22/07/2024 10:40

So you going to be that parent who pulls apart every remark a teacher makes. You know they are just people too

Beautiful3 · 22/07/2024 10:40

She didn't mean her hair is like a birds nest, but the twigs etc.

ChilliSquib · 22/07/2024 10:44

It was like a birds nest if it has bits in it. Confused

Maybe she is such a dedicated teacher she was unable to let a simile slide by. Every situation must be packed with education.

EmpressOfTheThread · 22/07/2024 10:47

Hankunamatata · 22/07/2024 10:40

So you going to be that parent who pulls apart every remark a teacher makes. You know they are just people too

Also, it's going to be a voyage of endurance at secondary school.

QuillBill · 22/07/2024 10:48

Starlingexpress · 22/07/2024 09:08

Make a complaint and get her sacked. Go to the media and see if you can get an appearance on GMTV.
Clearly not fit to be a teacher. You should also start a petition and a gofundme.

Absolutely, then home school your daughter.

Just so you know @Pink115, despite only being posted a couple of hours ago this thread is already on one of the biggest Facebook sites for primary teachers in the UK and is on fire! 🔥

Hopefully you live elsewhere.

lto2019 · 22/07/2024 10:48

VividQuoter · 22/07/2024 09:12

lol

Show quote history

And have your picture taken for the local paper with you and your daughter looking really sad - you could have your arms folder crossly.

Elasticatedtrousers · 22/07/2024 10:49

Starlingexpress · 22/07/2024 09:08

Make a complaint and get her sacked. Go to the media and see if you can get an appearance on GMTV.
Clearly not fit to be a teacher. You should also start a petition and a gofundme.

And make sure you have a sad sack photograph of you looking straight into camera with child in distance looking sad.

I’d also complain to ofsted and the local LADO!

QuillBill · 22/07/2024 10:50

And it's a screenshot so pulling the thread will make no difference.

Swipe left for the next trending thread