To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

It is unusual yes and I would be surprised by it.

However, the laughter probably came from your daughters delivery of it. Kids have a way of saying things very funny.

I think it’s lovely that you are so passionate about it though, just continue to enjoy it.

@Calliopespa

I assumed we all did think about what we'd studied and did further reading.

But no one actually said "I am reflecting". It's the wording used that is odd. And we could all do our thinking at later times. Not have to excuse ourselves from something to go off and do it right then and there (assuming something else is happening we could be doing)

There's a lot of autistic traits going on here;

Interesting - I can see that.

I wondered if the OP works in education sector or in management somewhere in that sector- from DC schools and DH working in HE there can be a lot of pushing reflection after trips and conversations and projects.

It's not a bad idea but is often pushed in less natural ways - like OP stepping out immediately to do it - rather than most people ruminating when have a quiet moment.

It's not unknown for family members to step out for some air or a break or just for a change or more often to do a task to get the space- but it would be odd to say it was to reflect on a conversation.

Actually in open university, loads of the work one does seems to have an element of "reflection" a ton of waffle about what you learned (about yourself) and how you learned. (My dad does it) rather than writing essays on the subject.

It's fascinating to you! But people have different interests. If I started talking at length to you about mine, you'd get bored pretty quickly. As I might about yours.

It's not wrong for people to be less interested in your favourite subject than you are, and to tire of the conversation sooner than you. Similarly it wouldn't be wrong for you to take a break outside for different reasons, to escape my friend's obsession with a particular sport

You seem to be struggling to understand how other people think.

Again, I'm sorry that your family mocked you. But I think it would help you to try to understand social interaction and understanding that other people's perceptions are not yours.

It’s soul destroying when you’re the one if the family that people feel they can laugh at, OP.

Your family are out of order.

It's been in education last few years - schools and uni DH taught and visited at.

I think it's a new educational fashion - you can see why but it's often done in a less than natural way so it gets ticked off as it were - DH in a technical subject so I get to enjoy him moaning about it.

I did reflective exercises as part of my history-related MSc too. But it wasn't so much about reflecting on the actual material, more about your learning style and what you found worked or didn't - so writing about how you tried mind mapping and didn't find it particularly effective, but that writing bullet points or using a different syntax for literature searches did.

Yes and no, @CoalTit. I can absolutely understand someone not wanting to talk about Trump - the man makes my skin crawl, and I am horrified at the thought of him getting a second go at the US Presidency.

But when you are in a group situation, and the group has discussed your particular area of interest for a while, and the conversation moves on, I think it is good manners to show a similar interest in other people's choice of topic.

My parents and brothers all laugh at me and each other like this. I grew up with it, but have come to realise how horrid it is. They remind me of the hyenas in the lion king.

In my own family - my husband and children - we're not like that. I think it's okay to care about things and be honest and earnest. It's okay to reflect and improve. It's okay to take yourself and the things you learn seriously. Not everything has to be hilarious.

Part of the definition of ‘weird’ is that it is something that people feel is unsettling. People with autism are often viewed as ‘weird’ (aka unsettling), which results in bullying, ostracism, or just general feelings of ‘they’re weird, I don’t feel comfortable around them…’, etc.

One reason why it’s useful to know if you have ASD or not is because it’s actually a huge relief to know why people respond to you like that. It’s not your fault, Autistic brains just work differently to the norm. That’s why I suggested taking the AQ50 assessment, which anyone who may be wondering about this themselves, can do at home as a pre-screening online, before taking further steps towards diagnosis (if desired).

psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

Reflection is a totally normal part of learning and if you don't reflect you probably are not learning. But it is uncool to work at learning in this country so you have to pretend you're not doing it and instead are naturally gifted in knowing about the Anglo-Scots wars and what they mean for the present day without even thinking about it.

I think it was really off for OP's family to keep laughing, even when it was clear she wasn't laughing it off. If it happened in my family the adults might send each other an amused glance when the DC came in with the statement about reflecting, but wouldn't be treating an adult (or a child) like a laughing stock for it.

I guess it sounds quite formal to be 'reflecting' about what was to everyone else a mildly interesting chat, so a little bit funny. No way the need for 'roaring', 'howling', 'never let them live it down' some PPs seem to think is a rational reaction.

It is a bit weird to take yourself away from a family gathering to "reflect" on a random conversation.
If you'd needed a bit of time away to collect your thoughts after someone dropping a bombshell like "your aunt is actually your sister", then fair enough. But to take yourself away after a casual chat about some aspect of very general history is definitely weird and sounds really, really pretentious and way too intense.

I don't understand what's funny about it at all.

I just think people are a bit nasty. Laughing at someone is never ok nor funny unless everyone is enjoying themselves.

Whatever sort of example are people setting to their kids.

I guess this just shows everyone is different.

arguably leaving company to go sit on your own, to effectively carry the conversation on in your own head, as you find the convo turn boring, is rude. Reflecting on something you’re studying is fine, but to have a conversation when visiting a relative, then excuse yourself so you can go and sit alone and think about medieval history is odd behaviour. As seen by the thread, most folks would be amused if a much loved family member did it, if someone else did it, you’d be less amused and think them odd or rude.

OP, you clearly have a passion for the topic, which is great.

I'd say just fuck em. They are clearly more worried about conforming to other people's ideas of normal and are likely terrified of what others think of them. That's why they laughed. It's what insecure people do.

Anyways I wouldn't tell them much in the future. I've either say you're just taking some time to yourself of tell them the truth that you are sick and tired of hearing about Trump. Because aren't we all?

My husband is renowned for being a miserable git, we laugh about it and tease him, not to be horrible but because he’s our miserable git and we love him. It’s funny to see him do it.

Just like the family laugh at me because I have the attention span of a goldfish and forget words or start 14 new projects a week and never finish any of them. I wouldn’t be offended by it because they’re right, and it’s done from a place of affection.

Without a broader context I’d listen to the feedback, realise that it was an unusual thing to go outside and reflect and assume that they’re not being nasty but because you did a funny thing. But also that it’s OK that you did a funny thing.

The only time I could imagine going outside and reflecting on a conversation and maybe saying so is if it was something deeply personal, someone’s health or something upsetting. I can get emotional or deeply moved by something that isn’t personal but my reaction would be different to OP’s. Not that there is anything wrong with OP going outside but I would be lying if I didn’t think it was odd when being told about it.

Do you have form for it with family, maybe that’s why they ribbed you?

I don’t know what company you keep but I don’t know anyone who thinks learning is uncool. Yes some people do, but a whole country?

You are really overthinking this.

Yes, I find it fascinating. I’m a history nut.
BUT I wouldn’t need to stop in the middle of a conversation with other people to go off by myself and think about it. The compulsion you describe is unusual.
I think about those things when I’m reading certain books, watching certain programmes or visiting certain places. It doesn’t consume other times in my life.

In some quarters learning, self-improvement etc., reflecting on new knowledge etc., is mocked. Check upthread for a prime example.

I'm bookish and I've experienced my fair share of bullying and ribbing for being a 'swot' and a 'geek'. And this transcends class boundaries. In some schools those inclined toward the sporty can sometimes be dismissive of more academic types: not a general observation but neither is it a rare one. In my part-US education I did see this (and a lot of graduate scholarships are earned through sport). And yes, in some areas of the UK education is not valued and kids who work hard get an awful time. The result is, I'm afraid to see, clearly discernible once people come out of the end of compulsory education, find themselves at university, and can't construct a sentence properly.

OP - ignore the ribbing by your family and those on this thread. It's bullying, nothing less. If you're 'weird' in having a deep interest in particular subjects and then thinking/reflecting about what you've seen then I certainly fall into the category of weird too. And I don't give a flying one. Then again, I wouldn't expect my own family to bully me.

Keep on being you

Then think deeply when they’re not there? Or is your thoughtfulness on some sort of time limit? Can it only happen at specific times? Does it need to take place during social gatherings?

People not removing themselves from social situations to reflect does not mean they don’t reflect. It doesn’t make them shallow. To claim that it does smacks of the same level of adolescent navel gazing earnestness as the OP. It’s not thoughtful, it’s silly. I’d laugh at you, as well.

Cmon now, there is a time and place for everything and in the middle of a social visit to pop outside so you can self learn on medieval history isn’t it,