To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

They were a little unkind but that is pretty funny. Sorry eek

Well no - it’s rude to just get up mid conversation because it’s moved on from the topic you like. They all sat there listening to OP twaddle on AND she tried to bring the conversation back to what she wanted even though it had clearly moved on. Rude, ignorant and boring.

I don't think you did anything weird or wrong - I quite like the idea of going off to quietly reflect on a conversation or topic of interest. I guess the way you put it might have sounded a bit odd to your 9 year old, and perhaps she relayed it to the others in an amusing way. Maybe she'll learn something from this, even if it's not immediately obvious. Hope you can move on and rise above it.

Of course not. I have had the most insightful and thoughful conversations with very ordinary people with no pretentions to being intellectuals at all. We all love football/cricket, Tv shows and pop music too. But dont you think it is odd that so many posters take umbrage at the word "reflect" and seem to have ringfenced it as an activity for the autistic or the philosopher? Does that not itself reveal a rather middle aged serf mentality? To bring the topic back to OP's interest. 😛

I LOVE this OP!

You have actually inspired me to make the time to do this.

So am I getting this right - you were talking about history, then the conversation naturally drifted into American politics, you didn't want to talk about that so removed yourself to reflect on the previous conversation. However politely you feel you did this, it would be somewhere between weird and rude to me. Then you came back and tried to keep steering the conversation back to history, even though it had already moved on - AND you had literally taken yourself off outside for a period - and even though you know your sister isn’t massively into history? No wonder she was ribbing you - your behaviour was really odd and her making fun was probably a way of ensuring the conversation wasn’t dominated by a topic that had already been discussed and was only of interest to one of you

The polite thing to do would have been to reflect on your thoughts at a natural break in the conversation, rather than making one yourself and leaving everyone wondering WTF you were “just popping out” for. Surely you could have discussed it with your Grandma again at a later point, rather than trying to drag the conversation back at that moment? Perhaps when your sister wasn’t around, given her lack of interest in the topic?

There was nothing wrong with what you did at all. You're a thinker. Your sister clearly isn't, and is perhaps a bit of a bully too.

@DonnySue carry on being you. I’m a bit of a reflector and value taking time to do so. Unfortunately as a lot of responses show on this thread there is low/poor tolerance of it or of difference. I regularly need breaks in social situations. My family would never take the mick out of me for having an interest. Unfortunately you’ve just got lots of people on this thread who don’t understand having an interest and can’t stretch their brains far enough to understand it because they are too restricted by societal norms eg groups should stay together not one leave for a while and come back, or laugh at the weirdo. People who lack confidence can’t cope with an independent thinker. Boring pack behaviour and sounds like your sister, like many posters on this thread, are comfortable with a bit of low key bullying to have a laugh.

Carry on doing you and the next time they laugh at you like that just leave. Set the boundary for yourself and others that you won’t be treated like that. They’ll call you weird and tell you you’re overreacting but you won’t be in the same room as them so win win.

It's been explained multiple times by multiple posters why it's not the done thing to just leave the room if you don't like the topic of conversation. At least say you needed some fresh air or something, but ideally don't do it.

I completely relate to the wish to carry on and further explore a topic of conversation in my head - I'd forgotten until this thread that my lovely dad described me as a deep thinker in his speech at my wedding, he was the same.

The point is that it's not polite to do that in company. This isn't a point of intellect, it's a point of social skills.

The most interesting, intelligent people I've known can converse in an appropriate way about just about anything, high brow or low. They don't leave the room because the conversation has turned to someone else's interests.

I imagined it as OP trying to demonstrate why it was worth reflecting about rather than coming back and dominating the conversation.

Ridiculing her in front of everyone wasn’t OK. She could have a quiet word with her.

I did understand it, I'm not an idiot. I think it's a pretentious thing to say to anyone!

It is funny. Embrace it…

There’s nothing wrong with having your own quirks but it’s unreasonable to expect other (presumably NT folk) to get it. I think it’s endearing and it really wouldn’t bother me if people found it amusing.

I'm autistic and spend a lot of time in my own head reflecting on things. I don’t think I’d leave the room, I need breaks from conversation sometimes but I might just nip to the loo or something! (People often laugh at me for other reasons though. I don’t care, I know they love me)

Absolutely this. Most people think while they participate in a conversation.

OP says:

No I ignored them and tried to return to the topic but it was impossible with sister carrying on the way she was.
I wasn’t the one with all the facts, my grandma was. That’s why I wanted it to carry on as I was learning things I didn’t already know.

That doesn’t sound like someone trying to just explain why they wanted to reflect. It sounds like someone who wanted the previous conversation to carry on, regardless of how other people in the room felt.

That would absolutely have gone done in our family hist And resurrected every Christmas along with all the other things we take the piss out of each other about.

but seriously I think you should crowdfund an OU degree, you’d love it. If you possibly can go do a degree.

Honestly, no.

But then I don’t get the fascination with family trees and ancestry type things. What Great Aunt Mildred did 300 years ago has got no impact on me.

I do recognise that a lot of people like this sort of stuff though.

I understand where you are coming from OP, but there’s a balance. You can’t control the conversation in a group- it’s impolite to talk for any length of time about something that doesn’t interest everyone. If you want an extensive chat about history, go especially for that when your sister isn’t there.

And when you need time out for reflection, it’s time to go home, or reflect while making a cuppa!

You may get a better reception if you call it ‘processing’ rather than reflecting. I think people understand the need to process information better.

Most people process unconsciously though, while making a cuppa or going for a walk, in the background of doing lighter things.

And that may have been why your sister was trying to change the subject- to subconsciously process the meat of the previous conversation.

Neither of you were wrong, but you clearly don’t understand each other’s learning style. Maybe work on the relationship so the misunderstandings aren’t so hurtful.

My family would do similar, but we'd all take it on the chin. We all have our eccentricities. If you laugh along in these situations they stop sooner.

That is exactly what the OP said - can no one read posts anymore?

A lot of posters seems just like the OP's family - so keen to gang up on her for being what they perceive as 'wierd'. It is not a crime to not be like everyone else and it shouldn't be mocked and laughed at.

OP - you continue to march to the beat of your own drum, your family sound unpleasant and resentful of anyone who dares to be a bit different (like many posters) so uses mocking to shame you back into line. Vive la difference, I say.

Not so much the relatives but I do find it interesting. I wouldn’t go outside to reflect on it though and would fully find it weird if someone else did.

Depending on the personality of the individual I’d either laugh or presume they were a bit up their own arse to be honest.

I would find a natural lull in the day where I could then think back about something I was interested in. No hobbies or passions as such but if a conversation had interested me, it might come back to the forethought of my brain. Perhaps when brushing my teeth or loading the dishwasher.
I would certainly think it unusual for someone to wander off alone, when with company to reflect immediately on a conversation topic.

I'm sorry to do the typical mumsnet thing of diagnosing neurodivergence but honestly your behaviour is unusual and doesn't fit with social norms and did very much sound like something a ND person would do and then not see why people were laughing. They shouldn't have taken the piss once it was clear you didn't find it funny.

This sounds like something I would have said when I was younger and I would have gotten the same reaction as your family. All it does is make me clam up and shy around people at big events now. And they all wonder why I’ve gone shy and don’t engage in conversations. I’ve just embraced my weirdness internally and stay quiet in public so I’m not the butt of their jokes any more.

I disagree, Great Aunt Mildred is part of who you are now. She raised her children and influenced them, they influenced the next generation and so on.

Just like you will influence the next generation in some way and so on, in 300 years there will be a generation of people who in some way have been shaped by you and by Great Aunt Mildred.

Not to say that you have to a) believe the same as me or b) give it a second thought 🤣