People commenting on my 6 YO DD weight?

The NHS calculator factors in height. That’s why you input their height.

I think that's really harsh on OP. She clearly sees the problem and is going to take steps to fix it.

She's going to have a 6yo who is used to having pancakes before bed and now has to put up with fruit or nothing though. Doesn't matter that that's a necessary step, or that it's healthier, or that she shouldn't have been having supper in the first place. Children are creatures of habit, and when their habits change they whine. Incessantly.

OP needs to minimise the impact on her DD from this change in diet, and that will be the hardest bit to get right. Swapping the foods is easy peasey, but persuading the 6yo that that's a great idea is something else entirely. The odd "Remember the dentist said we all need to eat fewer sweets" will help mitigate that.

Yes and under 5 my dc come up as extremely overweight- by nhs standards they are buy this is how we are as a family for some reason shorter than average and very heavy then end up with a big growth spurt and as a family we are all very tall and very slim but all the toddlers are huge

My Hv was so concerned till I literally showed her photos of me and my siblings, my nieces my mum and grandmother etc , as toddlers and as adults - she said usually it’s a problem but she could then see its genetic. I think she was just perplexed ! I think she thought I was lying when I told her what my dc eat as she couldn’t understand why they were so big. As a family we all have huge babies too (10lb usually) but as adults we are all lower end or just under healthy bmi

Well done for recognising and wanting to make some changes before it becomes ingrained. The key for me is planning, getting the right foods in and prepped. High protein, not always low carb but good whole grain carb not white and sugary. Ryvita and cream cheese, dried fruit and nuts, green yoghurt etc. and food before bed gets laid down as fat not burnt off so better to have milk not supper! But twins is tough so we’ll done you!

My 9yo is 4st. I don’t weigh my children often but November ‘22 she was 3st 7. She gains around 7lb a year so I would assume she was around 3st at 6.

If the NHS is saying they’re very overweight they are.

Sorry, you’re absolutely right. He’s about 4ft10.

Yes but it’s normal for my dc they are born big, get absolutely huge with rolls and rolls by 6 months on milk alone then stay quite short get huge then have a giant growth spurt so we totally disregard it as for us it’s not a problem I appreciate that’s not how everyone is and sometimes being big at a young age just carries on.

I haven’t read all the replies but I would try and make sure she is a healthy weight for her age (if that means making small changes). A 6 year old eating a balanced diet (that includes mcdonalds as an occasional treat - we’ve never excluded any foods for our kids) shouldn’t be struggling with weight (unless there is a health condition). 6 year olds will be doing alot of running round at school/play based activities, weekends spent in the park/garden/days out/walks, so its either diet or movement that needs looking at. Does she do alot of running around/sports or family walks? Its free and you could increase that without affecting what she eats if you feel she has a good diet and there’s nothing to change there.

The one thing I would really stress is that the couple of children I can think of in my eldest child’s class who were overweight through primary did not grow out of their ‘puppy fat’ (as they say) by secondary. They actually got much worse so I wouldn’t rely on thinking she will just grow out of it. More electronics get introduced as they get older too so its even more important kids are moving alot. I would look at any small changes you can make now.

he fact he wears clothes in the correct size for him (for his height) from multiple stores, with plenty of room to spare in them. And of course, visually and fitness wise.

And you don't think that possibly a) clothes shops want to flatter parents into thinking their children are the right size (and sell more clothes, and sell clothes for the child of that age who's the middle of the current range of children of that age and b) you could possibly be swayed by seeing lots of OTHER overweight children?

As others have said, check her BMI (though also be wary that a really tall and really overweight child, even if the BMI is okay, can also be unhealthy).

One of the dangers with overweight girls is that it causes them to go through puberty earlier than they should, which has various knock on effects, including limiting their height.

I keep an eye (without her knowing!!) on my DD8's weight as she takes after my DH's side, who have a short and stocky build.

She is currently around the 75th percentile for BMI (25-50 centile for height and 50-75 percentile for weight!), but has had periods where she's neared the 90th percentile.

As a comparison, she is currently just over 4 stones...

My 6 year-old DS is just over 3 stones... (BMI around 17th percentile 😆).

Edit: Sorry, just seen your updates.

What I do with my DD is go with the idea that no food is bad, but some foods do more for your body than others. Ie chocolate gives you a little bit of energy, but only for a short while, might be better to have something that fills you up for longer.

When coming in from school, I give a snack with protein, so like breadsticks and peanut butter, carrots, banana, but also serve it with something like 10-15 smarties, so chocolate is not forbidden, but not much. If they ask for more, say something like that's all for today, but can have more tomorrow.

We have dinner quite early, and then maybe a small yoghurt after. If still hungry at bedtime, they can have a cup of milk and fruit.

It’s hard at that age but it’s the perfect age to get them eating a healthy diet. It sounds like her diet is pretty carb heavy with cereal, pancakes, croissants etc…, you could swap a few things for healthier options and maybe cut down in take aways (we have one around once a month rather than once a week). Swap the nuggets for real chicken, processed foods are not great but fine occasionally. The examples you set now with food will last a life time so making healthy choices will stay with her as she grows up.

My dd is a nightmare as she has ASD and pinches food, I try not to buy too much and limit chocolate and crisps. She’s not really into breakfast so just has a banana of yoghurt. She has a sandwich, carrot sticks, cucumber and a packet of low fat crisps for her lunch, evening meals are usually things like Spagetti and meat balls, stir fried chicken, fish pie, bbq chicken wraps with salad etc…etc.., we have cut out pudding and just offer fruit, she loves melon and mango or in the summer I offer her a ice lolly. Luckily she’s not keen on chocolate but sometimes we have it as a treat on a Friday night.

My son is 5 1/2 and is just under 3 stone and he’s quite sturdy built although I can see his ribs etc - sturdy little legs from all the clubs he does !
so I would say 4 stone is overweight tbh

On the other end of the spectrum, this is also not a healthy weight for an average-height 10-year-old...

There is nothing wrong with a child having carbs - they aren't an overweight middle aged person, and they need about 1600 calories a day aged 6. But perhaps not so many carbs as they are having now and more protein, fibre and fat to fill them up.

It sounds as well like the school is creating a problem by giving them pancakes and croissants. Perhaps they are doing this as some children are not eating breakfast, but it means that some of them have two breakfasts.

I remember putting weight on when I changed schools because the new school had a tuckshop at break time, so we went and ate crisps and chocolate instead of running about. Whereas at the old school we just played out at break and didn't eat anything between breakfast and lunch time.

https://www.lancashire.gov.uk/lancashire-insight/health-and-care/health/lifestyle/healthy-weight/
These are the stats for my area. Over a quarter of 4 and 5 yr old children are overweight and 1 in 10 obese moving on to 40% overweight and 1 in 4 obese by age 10 or 11.
For everyone sharing stories of overweight young children who grow out of it there’s a high likelihood that OP’s daughter with a high sugar/white carb, low protein and no veg diet would end up overweight or obese at 10/11.
Much kinder for a family member to have said to mum who is in charge of her food (not child) now and mum to be able to take steps.
By 10 or 11 it’s much harder to alter habits.
A child who is used to eating takeaways, McDonalds, pancakes and waffles daily isn’t realistically going to have a spurt and end up a healthy weight.
Op has been in thick of it coping alone with the twins and her daughter, she now realises and can address it sensibly and sensitively.
There’s absolutely no need for child to end up with a complex about her weight. Much more likely to have issues if nothing said and girl is 11 needing a plus sized secondary school uniform and unable to buy a dress for leavers disco like her friends. At that age they are aware and can be be subject to comments or are unable to keep up with peers at sports.

Hi OP well done on posting and being open to advice. Ive been doing a lot of reading on health and kids in the UK have an extremely high ultra processed diet like 70% or higher. UPF is linked to over eating, obesity, chronic disease and poor appetite control as it is less nutritious and also as its heavily processed more of the fat and sugar is absorbed into the body. I would make slow small changes to a less upf diet focusing on more whole foods. If you can, read Ultra Processed People which has completely changed how I view food. For example I have swapped out cereals to a much less processed one and provide eggs, whole grain soughough, nuts, fruit, porridge, museli. Variety of fruits and veg is key for gut health so I make sure there is plenty of fruit and veg sticks available. Snacks are houmous, cheese, rice cakes, nuts, home made cakes or biscuits. I have moved away from juice and squash and my kids only have water or milk at home now.

Have a look at this, OP

I don't necessarily agree with all their advice to have low-fat and low sugar things which have more additives but equally there are some good ideas for food swaps and recipes.

https://www.nhs.uk/healthier-families/food-facts/healthier-food-swaps/

One easy thing is for them to have some veg sticks with a sandwich.

No one is saying cut carbs completely but her diet is currently mainly white or sugary carbs. That’s not healthy for an adult or child.
No one needs pancakes, waffles and croissants daily and McDonald’s and takeaways weekly.
With a few swaps her diet will be much healthier and still include all food groups.

Exactly this. Children are hugely overweight and unhealthy which means shops have had to adjust their sizing. The lack of knowledge is, sadly, not surprising.

I agree. I know it's frowned upon on here, but genetics do play some role.

I've never struggled with my weight (even in pregnancy, my BMI didn't go into the overweight category... Despite having 8-8.5lbs babies!) and my BMI is currently hovering around 19-20).

My DS6 clearly takes after me; he is 50-75 percentile for height and 25-50 percentile for weight.

My DH however is under average height for a man and BMI is overweight. His mum is the same.

My DD8 clearly has their genetics for build - she is below average height, but stocky. Her BMI is currently 75th percentile, but it doesn't take much to hover near the 90th.

Agree. My short for her age 11yo is 5st 2. According to nhs bmi calculator she is on the 30th centile.

my average height just turned 9yo is on the 19th centile at 4st 2. I’d expect an average height 10yo female to be around 4st 7 - 4st 12.

Mine were slightly chunky at age 6, we kept an eye on it with the view of keeping their weight stable so their height could catch up - now the 11 year old is possibly slightly underweight with clear ribs and collarbones (but will clear out an unattended fruit bowl in seconds) and the 12 year old is slightly larger but at that puberty point where body fat distribution changes so it’s hard to tell at present - but compared to peers she’s one of the very skinny ones.

One thing we did to cut things down without it being an issue (acutely aware that that needs careful management with the world girls will be growing up into) was to buy a new crockery set and, needing to “make sure it fitted in our dishwasher” we picked one with smaller-side plates - naturally limited portions down a bit that way. Cereal we made a thing about introducing a choice of 4 - conveniently they were 4 lower sugar ones, rather than a box or two of “kids” ones (we had to do that at this point after DD2 had a hospital stay where she discovered the existence of Coco Pops!). Little, very low-key things and got the kids to stay on one weight and grow their height into it - neither so far have had any talk of body insecurity stuff as a result of it.

I don’t do “banning” food because I know DD1 in particular will then go nuts when the restrictions are off. Just been away all inclusive and their food choices were pretty impressive all in all.