How to unplug your child: practical tips and fun activities to help you reduce screen time

Screen time is arguably the parenting issue of our era and it’s not surprising we struggle with it. Our gadgets can be everywhere and everything (if we let them). They permeate family life in so many ways, impacting mental health, sleep, social interactions, and how we spend our time together and apart. 

It’s all so new too, feeling like far more than just a generational change. Sure, we had the odd battle with our own parents about too much telly or sitting too close to it (we can still hear our mums’ voices warning “you’ll get square eyes”), but the issues we’re dealing with now as parents are much broader and deeper. 

They range from everyday, minor annoyances (trying to get your teen to stop swiping and respond when you’re asking a question, for example), to the frankly terrifying (the availability of harmful and violent content online). Yet despite the challenges, digital overload isn’t something we have to accept as an inevitable part of modern lives. 

The positive news is that we’re catching up on what to do to put the screen time genie back in its bottle - or at least somewhat. Mumsnet’s Rage Against the Screen campaign is a brilliant example of this and increasingly parents are also banding together as a class or year group to delay their children getting smartphones. More schools are banning phones in classrooms or throughout the whole day too. 

How can I ‘unplug’ my child from screens?

1. Delay buying your child a smartphone

Firstly, hold off as long as possible from getting your child their own gadgets. They might tell you that “everyone” at school has a smartphone or PlayStation, but is that really true (ask around) and, even if it is, you don’t have to follow the pack. Stand firm if you want to keep that genie in the bottle for longer.   

2. Don’t demonise screen time

It’s wise though, particularly with older children and teens, to not demonise screen activities. No matter how much you’re raging that they’re always on their games console or constantly videoing everything, this stuff matters to them and is often central to their social lives.

Being overly negative sets you up for a battle rather than constructive conversations that might improve things. Say and show that you recognise this is important to them but that you want to work together to achieve a healthy screentime balance.  

3. Monitor gadget use

Screen time isn’t all bad either, so it makes sense to focus on what your child is doing online as well as how much. If they’re learning a language or new skill online for example, that’s a huge contrast to violent gaming or mindless swiping. 

4. Set a positive example

As parents, we also need to set a positive example: kids learn from us and plenty of adults struggle with screen-life balance. If we’re slaves to our digital machines, checking messages when your child is desperate to share that amazing thing they did at school or 'second screening' while watching a family TV show, what behaviours are they picking up? Plus, it undermines your credibility when attempting to get them powering down their tech more if you’re always glued to yours. 

There are, of course, times when need to check your phone, whether for work or something practical like banking. But with older children, explain that’s the case and still try to keep a lid on non-essential gadget use when they’re around. 

5. Set clear screentime rules

Set clear rules and tech boundaries as a family. Try to do this when you're not in the heat of the moment, i.e when you haven’t just had an argument about screen time, and get your children involved in rule-setting too. Involving them will make them more engaged and their suggestions might be surprisingly sensible. Some teens don’t actually want to be hooked to their devices - they just don’t know how to cut down given their lure and the fear of ‘fomo'.   

Every family’s rules will be different, but it could involve no devices at mealtimes, keeping gadgets out of bedrooms overnight or even screen-free Sundays.   

6. Find and encourage screen time alternatives

Finally, keep a bank of offline activities in mind whether that’s at home or when you're out and about. Create a bag of activities for younger ones (small toys, colouring kit etc) and create a list of ideas on the fridge for those “I’m bored” moments back home. This all helps cut down the temptation to just hand over a phone or turn on a screen. 

Screen-free activity ideas for kids

1. Find the most embarrassing old family photos

Difficulty: 1/5

Dig out those long-neglected snaps from the attic and challenge your child to find the top three most embarrassing/amusing ones from days of yore. Prepare for much sniggering at your clothes and hairdos and comments of the “but you looked so young there, Mum” or “you had hair then, Dad” variety.

What you’ll need

• A pile of old pics or albums

You could even stage a mock mini-award ceremony for the most cringeworthy outfit in a photo or worst hairstyle with home-made certificates or mini silver foil-crafted 'Oscars'.

2. Power off for a night

Difficulty: 1/5

Powering down not just gadgets but the lights and TV too can tick boxes for its novelty (as well as environmentally-conscious) factor. Allow only wind-up torches and candles (supervised for younger ones), grab a pack of cards or some board games and tell spooky stories. Sweeten the blow of no screens and lights with the promise of a takeaway dinner – after all, the oven will be out of bounds too.

What you’ll need

• Candles and torches

• Games that don’t require mains electricity

Useful to show your child just how reliant we are on electricity for entertainment and daily life.

3. Themed photoshoot with friends

Difficulty: 3/5

Try a makeshift photoshoot where your child and their friends have to gather props and costumes and make a temporary backdrop on a wall or booth. Theme the shoot around vintage, grunge, silly hats, clashing clothing or a favourite book or film – whatever appeals.

What you’ll need

• An old white sheet or large paper roll for the backdrops

• Fabric/marker pens for any scene they want to create

• Masks, specs, interesting tops – raid the charity shop or grandparents’ attics for props and costumes

A simple alternative: everyone draws a face/ shoulders self-portrait on A4 paper then positions it in front of their face for a pic.

4. Start your own magazine

Difficulty: 3/5

Budding journalists can set their minds to compiling a magazine. It could be about their hobby or an end of year (academic or calendar) review – what were their highlights and memories? Younger ones who struggle with writing could focus on scrapbooking and using photos or drawing pictures.

What you’ll need

• Paper

• Pens

• Printed photos

• A stapler to bind the pages together

Of course, older children could write a blog or create a digital magazine, but encourage them to mock it up offline first.

5. Look after a dog for the day

Difficulty: 3/5

Assuming you don’t have one of your own, borrowing a canine chum can drag animal-loving youngsters away from screens and out for “walkies”. Ask friends with pooches, or look at one of the websites that match borrowers with owners needing dog walking/sitting. Ensure children are accompanied by an adult if they’re younger, inexperienced with dog care or the pet isn’t well known to you.

What you’ll need

• A dog that’s used to children

• Its lead and poop bags

• Some doggy treats to maximize tail wagging

Dog owners will sometimes offer a fee for walking – something to bear in mind for older offspring who are responsible enough to take a dog out alone and want to earn some extra cash.

6. Back garden bowling alley

Difficulty: 2/5

Who needs expensive bowling alleys when you can put together your own for free (and as a bonus you don’t need to wear those funny shoes)? Raid the recycling bin (ask the neighbours if you can pilfer from theirs too) and fill 10 or 12 used plastic bottles with water and an optional few drops of different shades of food colouring for a colour-coded points scheme. Place the bottles in the usual triangular formation on a flat strip of ground, grab the ball and await those first shouts of “Strike!”

What you’ll need

• Plastic bottles

• A mid-sized ball

• Food colouring (optional)

• Mark standing spots for different age players with a couple of rulers or some tape

7. Go puddle jumping

Difficulty: 1/5

A bit of rain never hurt anyone, and the mud, well, it’ll wash off! In the process of getting utterly soaked and mucky, your child will have a ball. As they say, there's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothes.

What you’ll need

• A muddy, wet day

• Wellies

• Waterproofs

About the author

Liat Hughes Joshi is a London-based author, journalist and coach. She has written six parenting books and has contributed to many national and international publications including The Guardian, The Sunday Times and The Daily Telegraph. As an experienced media commentator, she has appeared regularly on news channels including Sky News, LBC and Good Morning Britain, and has also featured on regional radio stations. Her latest book, How to Unplug Your Child is published by Vie Books.