7 practical tips for setting healthy tech boundaries for your children

With technology becoming an ever-present part of our lives - especially in households where both parents work - it’s no surprise that it’s impacting us at every level. In fact, there’s now a term for the stress we experience from our digital habits: technostress. This describes the frustration, anxiety and even exhaustion that can come from our constant interaction with technology.

While every parent wants their children to sleep well, focus at school and maintain good mental health, the first step often starts with us. Ask yourself: does late-night scrolling impact my sleep? Do constant emails and notifications leave me feeling irritable? If your own relationship with technology feels overwhelming, chances are this stress is also affecting your children - even if you have digital rules in place for them.

The conversation around technology and children’s wellbeing is complex, but research increasingly points to the risks of excessive screen time. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, in his book The Anxious Generation, has highlighted how early exposure to social media, in particular, correlates with a rise in anxiety, depression and sleep issues among children and teens. While technology isn’t inherently bad, setting intentional boundaries is key to protecting both our own wellbeing and that of our kids.

If you’re looking for ways to create a healthier tech environment at home - one that promotes better sleep and supports mental health - here are some simple but effective strategies:

1. Lead by example

Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. If we’re constantly glued to our screens, it’s harder to expect them to have self-control. Start by modeling healthy tech habits: put your phone away during meals, avoid checking emails before bed and prioritise real-world connections. Your actions will set the tone for the whole family.

2. Set tech-free zones and times

Creating designated screen-free areas - such as the dining room or bedrooms - helps to establish clear boundaries. Similarly, having specific times where devices are off-limits (such as an hour before bedtime) can help everyone wind down. This simple change can have a huge impact on sleep quality and mental clarity and you can take the approach of learning together. 

3. Prioritise sleep-friendly tech habits

Blue light from screens disrupts melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep. To counteract this:

• Use 'night mode' or blue light filters in the evening

• Keep phones and tablets out of the bedroom

• Encourage reading a book or listening to calming music before bed instead of scrolling

A well-rested mind is far more resilient and these small adjustments can make a big difference.

4. Teach mindful tech use

Instead of banning devices completely (which often backfires), focus on how they are used. Encourage kids (and yourself!) to be intentional about screen time:

• Ask, “Is this adding value to my life, or just filling time?”

• Introduce 'tech swaps,' like listening to a podcast instead of mindless scrolling

• Make social media a shared experience - discuss what your child is watching, who they’re following, and how it makes them feel

By promoting awareness, technology becomes a tool rather than a mindless habit.

5. Reduce notifications and digital clutter

Constant notifications create a feeling of urgency that can heighten stress. Take control by:

• Turning off non-essential notifications

• Setting “Do Not Disturb” times, especially in the evening

• Decluttering apps - removing the ones that don’t serve you or your kids

By minimising digital noise, you’ll create space for real-life connection and relaxation.

6. Make tech boundaries a family discussion

Rather than enforcing strict rules from the top down, involve your children in setting digital boundaries. Ask them how they feel after spending time on screens and brainstorm solutions together. When kids have a say in creating these boundaries, they’re more likely to respect them and they begin to understand the downsides of overuse.

7. Prioritise real-world activities

One of the best ways to naturally reduce screen time is to offer meaningful alternatives. Encourage activities that bring joy and connection, whether it’s outdoor play, sports, hobbies, or family game nights. When kids (and adults) have engaging offline activities, screens become less of a default.

Reclaiming balance in a digital world

Technology can be a powerful tool for good, but if left unchecked, it can take a toll on our mood, sleep, and overall wellbeing. The goal isn’t to eliminate screens entirely - it’s to build a healthy, intentional relationship with them.

We live in an attention economy, where billions are spent competing for your focus. Even with the best intentions, it can feel overwhelming to maintain digital boundaries at home. But rather than striving for perfection, start small. One simple change today can set the foundation for lasting habits.

By making adjustments gradually through open discussions and a collaborative approach, you’ll create a tech environment that supports your family’s wellbeing. Over time, these small shifts will add up, leading to healthier, happier, and more connected days ahead.

About the author

Petra Velzeboer is a renowned mental health expert, keynote speaker and author of new book Digital Wellbeing: Recharge Your Focus and Reboot Your Life which was published 3 Feb 2025.  She is also CEO of PVL, a mental health consultancy that combats psychologically toxic cultures and promotes mentally healthy work environments. She is a psychotherapist with an MSc in Psychodynamics of Human Development and is a qualified ORSC & CTI Certified Coach.