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Article Showing Autogynaphilia in Action

(85 Posts)
MightyMikey Fri 03-Nov-17 17:37:01

Read this article in The Guardian today, how can anyone (even Guardian readers) deny AGP exists. This man explains the glee in involving unsuspecting shop workers to his fetish - surely the shop girls (I can safely assume he targets the young female cashiers) should be protected from this. They are unconsenting participants in his fetish.
Unfortunately, this guy is going to be more protected than these women workers if and when self ID comes into effect.
Guardian Article

WhoWants2Know Fri 03-Nov-17 17:46:38

“I let them know that I’m enjoying it, even if they aren’t.”

Says it all.

MightyMikey Fri 03-Nov-17 17:54:55

Some of the comments are heartening, most agree it's OK to have a kinky side, but it's abusive to share with unwilling and, in the case of a shop worker, captive audience.
The comments suggesting the shop workers need to get over themselves and would probably enjoy this encounter, are missing the point. He doesn't know or care if the cashier enjoys it and that's what makes it an abusive act.

BelaLugosisShed Fri 03-Nov-17 18:02:47

My DD worked in La senza whilst at Uni, she had tons of men trying on lingerie and parading about the shop in it, obviously relishing the attention. All the assistants were made very uncomfortable by them.

HornyTortoise Fri 03-Nov-17 18:21:14

I'm guessing the masses of deleted comments mentioned AGP. As we are meant to pretend it does not exist.

Kink, fine. Dragging others into it, not.

Datun Fri 03-Nov-17 18:23:09

Yeah I read this. Ugh.

As I pay, I smile and wink, as if to say, “I am enjoying this even if you aren’t.”

Part of the fetish is to force people to participate.

How can the Guardian allow this and not realise what they are promoting?

Presumably this man can’t help having a fetish. But a fetish that relies on a misogynistic view of women is not something that should be printed in a national newspaper, giftwrapped as some kind of mildly sex pozzie anecdote.

MightyMikey Fri 03-Nov-17 18:42:47

This type of behaviour is just like the Westminster sex harressment case.
Women should ignore their creep instinct and play along because it's just a bit of fun. There seems to be a cultural grooming aspect going on where women have to play along with these sex pests or otherwise they are joyless harpies who hurt mens feelings by not colluding in their fetish/harassment. Women's boundaries are to be ignored and women are shamed and blamed if they say "STOP ENOUGH".

Bucketsandspoons Fri 03-Nov-17 18:48:11

Women's boundaries are to be ignored and women are shamed and blamed if they say "STOP ENOUGH".

This.

I was talking to an otherwise very nice man who was at a meeting of holistic therapists, all women other than him, discussing how wording of their policies will have to change if the GRB goes through, as most of them are women who work alone usually from a room at home and only take female clients. Particularly as a number of them have experienced men pushing boundaries during a treatment to make it sexual.

His answer was we were all uptight and it was just a western uptight thing we had to get over, and cited how he had a massage somewhere in the middle east and was all uncomfortable because it was another man where he'd much prefer a woman. And said we'd no doubt much prefer a woman. He was really shocked when someone pointed out to him that the reason he was uncomfortable being massaged by a man was because for the first time in his life he'd experienced being potentially sexually vulnerable in an intimate situation.

Bucketsandspoons Fri 03-Nov-17 18:52:24

Bottom line, even nice guys truly do believe deep down that they have entitlement to women's bodies and women refusing it are bad and wrong.

Hence incoherent narcisstic rage from TRAs and threats of rape and murder when women even talk about the need for boundaries in intimate situations and spaces.

Battleax Fri 03-Nov-17 18:53:23

Oh god that's horrible.

nauticant Fri 03-Nov-17 18:56:07

It's the obtuseness Olympics in the comments below that piece.

You know, I probably prefer the BTL comments on the Daily Mail to those on The Guardian.

JigglyTuff Fri 03-Nov-17 18:58:35

Grim. Love this comment though:

"

As an ex lingerie sales assistant there is a world of difference between a man quietly saying ‘I’m actually shopping for myself’ and winking at you to convey that information.

The former got my time, attention, manners and respect to help with something taboo and potentially challenging for that customer. The latter got you banned from the changing rooms because the amount of men wanking in there was grim.

You want advice on how to buy stockings you feel sexy in? Use your words instead of trying to make it into Carry On Lingerie. That job was just constant sexual harassment and inappropriate comments from men and even as a teenager I was aware of how creepy it was that so many men can’t buy knickers without trying to get saucy with the shop assistant.

Not once did a woman make a sexually inappropriate comment in the same environment..."

Well, I don't love it but at least she's pointing out what a fucking grim thing it is to involve women doing a job in your filthy fetishes.

QOFE Fri 03-Nov-17 21:10:08

"Use your words" grin grin grin

But yeah the whole thing is just rank. I'd want to punch anyone wanking winking in that situation. Because you know they'd be going home to wank over the interaction and the part you'd played in it. Ugh.

QOFE Fri 03-Nov-17 21:13:53

There's this feeling that's almost indescribable but I bet other women on here will know. The sort of sick fury that takes hold when you know a man is trying to put you in a situation you don't want to be in, but in a way that you'd sound bonkers if you tried to complain about. Powerless impotent rage, because you can't stop the vile bastards from thinking their vile thoughts but you hate the fact you feature in them.

The winking would definitely provoke it. Just fuck off you creepy fuck.

Bucketsandspoons Fri 03-Nov-17 21:59:11

And worse, if you get angry and he sees it, he's going to find it even hotter.

Ereshkigal Fri 03-Nov-17 22:41:11

Definitely, to the last two posts. It's so difficult to explain this to decent men in my experience. They just don't get it.

hipsterfun Fri 03-Nov-17 22:48:42

I’ll use my words. Three of them:

Shop online, creeps!

GuardianLions Fri 03-Nov-17 22:56:12

I think it's disgusting the creep is probably walking off at his own post and all the btl comments too. The whole fucking thing is a big narcissistic wank fest.

misscockerspaniel Sat 04-Nov-17 09:41:36

"...So I assume it would take balls to be honest that you're buying lingerie for yourself, as a man (yes - an odd sentence, I grant you). So the wink, and "assertiveness" I read as pride, and as two fingers to being judged, The guy enjoying buying his lingerie. If the sales person didn't, well that's their problem, and their prejudice".

Men really are from a different planet.

user1467297746 Sat 04-Nov-17 09:49:35

the wink was disgusting - totally self absorbed,

But I thought Autogynaphilia was making your body like the object of your desires?

this sounds like a crusty cross-dresser

DJBaggySmalls Sat 04-Nov-17 10:07:39

QOFE Its called 'under the radar bullying'. the only people who can see it are the people involved, so its hard to deal with. If you try to explain what happened you sound like a loon.

The Guardian thinks its OK to print an abusive fantasy, but then deletes all comments that point out this is abusive behaviour, and those that mention autogynephilia.

nauticant Sat 04-Nov-17 10:31:10

But I thought Autogynaphilia was making your body like the object of your desires?

It seems to me that a key part of the fetish for some (many?) is to coerce validation of their "femaleness" out of women, and particularly out of young women. The more discomfort elicited, the bigger the thrill.

MightyMikey Sat 04-Nov-17 10:57:54

I used Autogynaphilia because this guy is going out and about then going home, getting sexually excited by seeing himself in women's clothing. This is on a scale of AGP. Excitement by imaging yourself as a woman.
If I was a betting woman I would put money on that this time next year he will have progressed to wearing dresses, shoes, a bit of make up, bra - which leads into breast forms to fill out the bra. I've never heard of a guy who doesn't escalate. Maybe in 10 years he will be a full time woman in a changing room near you. Maybe not, but, as I say, it would be a safe bet to say he will.

pisacake Sat 04-Nov-17 14:05:48

The Guardian cant get enough of autogynephiles. There's another in today's paper.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/04/letter-to-children-tell-them-transgender-letter-always-wanted-write

fruitlovingmonkey Sat 04-Nov-17 14:33:36

The fucking Guardian. Has anyone done a statistical analysis on the number of transgender articles they feature? It reads as if every other person is trans while they ignore the inconvenient truth that every other person is female.
I must say, I'm really enjoying my Times subscription, especially getting to read Janice Turner every week.

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