Cant figuare out ds2 and feel weepy and pathetic! am just looking for a kind shoulder to lean on...

[kutilputil]

hi, i'm sure i am quiet popular on mn for going on about ds2, i apologise in advance, its just that i am finding this parenting thing ever so difficult with him...with ds1 it was almost a breeze...or was it?ds1 was text book style and i could figuare him out and solve the problem but ds2's solution to everything is ME CARRYING HIM...AND GIVING HIM UNDIVIDED ATTENTION! i had started weaning him onto solids from about 3 weeks ago and it all began smoothly...i have given him pureed veges and tastes of many fruits, baby rice and cereal and he seemed to enjoy most of it, he loved weetabix and carrots. but for the past 3-4 days he has given up on all meals, closing his mouth and throwing his head back and crying. he only takes water and bf regularly. i have noticed that he is okay to take food in his hand, like toast and he enjoys feeding himself, although most of it ends up ouside his mouth! i have heard of blw but haven't looked into it yet...will do now after this post...maybe there is an answer there for me. i have also noticed that his poo has been very runny and green, pls bear in mind he is exclusively bf. i am just so disappointed as i thought i was doing well with the weaning and now i am not sure...he does this-he leaves me quiet blank and bewildered . on top of this he crys almost all the time and i need to be near him, almost touching for him to stop and this is draining as there is ds1 to also give attention to, he is very forgiving but equally demanding. and i am such a fussy mum, i just cant let it be, i have to teach my ds1 right from wrong, tell him why there is rainbow in the sky and show him how to put his shoes on....i feel like if i dont teach him, who will?and i dont want strangers to teach him...like in a nursery, when i am there and i know for sure i will give him my undivided attention with out judging him...but all this takes energy and i am empty, refuelling with diet coke and choclates and tea when ever i can. and to top that theres a house to run...and pls dont say partner as we know almost all of them are useless and only useful when you are constantly on their back and then you become a nag so i'd rather not. i feel like crying....really loud and getting this frustration out from inside me so i can carry on..but i dont even have time for that...i am always out and abou as this is my only sanity saver and both kids demand less of me when we are out, but the house then falls apart and i eventually have to pck up the pieces...so i fear even going out...i am going on, i must stop.

[3littlefrogs]

You sound exhausted, stressed and completely overwrought.

Please - take a deep breath and try and calm down. You don't say how old ds2 is, but it is possible he is teething, or is coming down with something. It has been really hot this weekend - maybe he is thirsty and doesn't feel like eating much.

The house will have to take second place for a while - it will get easier, honestly.

You are not eating properly, the coke is making you hyper, and isn't good if you are breast feeding.

Do you have anyone who could help? Could your partner take the children out for an hour or two to give you some space?

[AnarchyAunt]

Oh sweetheart, just take a moment to stop and have a sit down.

3litlefrogs is right, the coke will make you jittery and also the caffeine can pass through your BM and make your LO jittery too.

Sod the house - do the bare minimum necessary for hygiene and let the rest wait.

Let your LO feed himself if he wants - makes life so much easier. Just share the family meal with him - that is pretty much all there is to BLW.

Don't worry if you can't respond to everyone's needs all at once - there's only one of you!

[kutilputil]

thankyou both for your reply...ds2 is six months and yes i know i need to stop but even when i stop my mind is still boggling..so a few hours away from the kids will not do me any favours...

[3littlefrogs]

Please - at least stop the diet coke, and anything else that contains caffeine. It isn't helping you or ds2.

[kutilputil]

how? back when i had no kids i used to smoke...not too many but enough for it to do me some damage, i smoked loads when i was down and sad to say it helped me relieve alot of stress...i then got pregnant, gave it up and never looked back, except when i have bad days, i feel sick near fags but still miss the relief it brought me...just the first pull!i sound like a drugy...nyway now all i have is diet coke to calm me down...and i cannot imagine wat i'd do without it. tried to explain to dh that i had a terrible day but he didn't even twitch...and i really needed a hug....he is very loving when i dont need him to be and totally cold and cut off when i do...so i just have to get on with it.
am still wondering why his poo is green?am i right in thinking it might be a bug ...but what?and why is he off the food?screaming his head off now so will be back later

[3littlefrogs]

I really think you need help on several levels.

First, you partner needs to wake up and support you. How you achieve that I don't know. Could you sit him down and talk to him and explain what you have said on this thread?

Second, you need to see your GP, or at least talk to your HV if you have a good one, because this situation is spiralling out of control. Yes, your ds could have a tummy bug, or be teething, or, equally it could be the diet coke and chocolate you are living on that is upsetting his tummy. It is impossible to tell over the internet TBH. He is only six months, so little tastes of food, and things he can hold in his hand is fine for now.

Please try and step back for a moment, and take one step at a time. The house is the least important - as long as you have clean clothes and food in the fridge, the rest can wait. Your health and the health of your baby has to come first.

[kutilputil]

See i understand where you are all comming from and that would be my advice to anyone who is in my situation but its harder to take your own advice. i know i need to talk about this but to who?gp hasn't got time, hv's are terrible and just make notes of your conversation and partner well.....i tried last night and he almost ignored it all and went to bed.today i felt a little better until ds1 wee'd the who of upstair down..he seems to be going through something and seems to be taking steps backwards in development....he poo'd yesterday and came out with out cleaning telling me he was in a hurry to play, today same thing...he just doesn't want to miss a thing and so in turn has these accidents and i am tired of cleaning yup after him....i am slumped on the sofa and just want to sleep but theres so much to do.i just wanna go back to being happy, is it too much to ask?

[3littlefrogs]

Do you live in a surestart area? Your HV would know - I know you said they aren't much good, but if you tell them you are desperate, hopefully they will at least give you the information.