Safety concerns for DD friend

[sophmum31]

My DD14 has a friend who is from a troubled background. She is often shuttled around between her mum, dad and grandparents as none can really cope, from what I know she is really challenging and being assessed for all sorts of mental health issues. During school closures she has been in school due to being classed as vulnerable.

She is currently living with her dad. My dd has mentioned a couple of concerning things recently about this girl being hit by her dad. He also leaves her in the house with the lodger at weekends while he stays at his girlfriends. I know that he struggles greatly with her behaviour and can understand why.

Last night she turned up on our doorstep at 10.45. Soaking wet hair and in pyjamas (her house is probably a mile away but through a deserted area I wouldn't walk alone at night). She told my dd the dad had dragged her out of the bath and hit her, so she left and came here. He had also driven here at the same time and was sitting outside in his car. I had a word and he said he'd really been struggling, he couldn't get her to school and she'd basically told him to fuck off all day long. He also said he would never hit her, never had hit her only once a couple of weeks ago he tapped her leg, this is playing on my mind because I didn't say anything about him hitting her, he brought this up completely out of the blue - and repeated it. He said he was banging on the bathroom door to get her out of the bath and the door broke and he didn't mean it to, it was an accident.

I said, let her stay here the night as you are both emotional and she was refusing to go back. I said I would take her to school this morning if he dropped her uniform off. I've tried to contact him this morning and nothing! She's supposed to be in school but still here. She's doing the lessons online.

I have wondered all night if I should get involved and make someone aware what is going on.

I have emailed the head of year to tell her what has happened. I know this head of year went to visit her at home the other day as she hadn't gone to school. I'm concerned if I have done the right thing or not!

[Snowymcsnowsony]

Would you be happy to have her stay even short term?

[LolaSmiles]

You've done the right thing.
I would be concerned that he tried to get in quick with the fact he would never hit her.

There are two main options here. The first is to speak to school, especially the safeguarding lead and let them know your concerns. The second is to call social services yourself. The latter is generally better as you can give social services the information directly rather than social services being given the information via the school.

[Shmithecat2]

A 'tap' on the leg and 'accidentally' broke the bathroom door? Yeah, no. Report it all to every relevant authority.

[staydazzling]

Why on earth was he in the bathroom with his teenage daughter whilst bathing? im not suggesting SA but a definite crossing of boundaries there when a young girl is developing he shouldn't be in there at all, thats before the violence accusations? whos protecting this poor girl? you did the right thing!!

[BunnyRuddington]

What a difficult situation. I agree that I'd tell SS but what would your DD think of her DF staying with you for awhile?

[Aknifewith16blades]

OP you can call the NPSCC helpline www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/our-services/nspcc-helpline/ for advice.

She sounds very vulnerable.

[BunnyRuddington]

How are things tonight @sophmum31?

[sophmum31]

Thanks everyone. Luckily the school have got heavily involved and taken all of the safeguarding measures including the police. She's still here for tonight.

[BunnyRuddington]

It's so good of you to take her in. How is she and your how is everyone else at home?