Previous thread here
I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!
I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.
I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.
The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.
Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.
It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.
I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.
So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’
As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.
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Relationships
The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About
StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37
I am delurking to say I think you're marvellous, I think your mother's a cow and I think you might need more gin! Have some of mine... 
I love you Polly.
I have lurked from the beginning and just had to declare it. You sound like a modern day heroine from some familiar and favourite novel. If the Brontë sisters were alive today you would be the embodiment of the brilliant women they write about. I have to admit to being green with envy knowing you have a grandmother who trained as a milliner in Paris in the 1920s 
. I'm sorry your mother is such a piece of work. Do you think she's envious of you at all? What is your parents relationship like?
Soo...can you tell us any more about the nice new man? Of course we're all dying to know, but I totally understand if you want to keep all those things private.
Go Polly!
Oh Polly, I’m sorry about the house, your parents, the ring…all of it.
On the house front, it will be if it’s meant to be. I know that sounds so irritatingly twee but I’ve learned the hard way that it’s true. If it doesn’t happen it’s because something better is coming.
As for the parents..sheesh. You have my empathy there, even down to the “things you were promised that never arrived” front. I was told by my grandmother - to my own ears - that she wanted me to have her furs but my mother is adamant they are now hers. I mean, it’s not like I’d be wearing them round the supermarket, but it’s the principle. And it is hard, effing hard, to be let down by those we think we could or should be able to rely on the most.
Massive hugs and
As ever, huge thanks for having my back, team Mumsnet. You all make me a better person.
Re new chap. I’m not going to say too much, out of respect for his privacy, but can I just assure you all he is absolutely divine. I have no wild mood swings, feel utterly secure, he’s fitted into my life with alarming ease, and I’m utterly dappy about him. I fancy the pants off him and he makes me feel alive, and wanted, and valued. I very much hope that my being utterly crazy about him is reciprocated- but I’m not going to be the one to say anything first.
He also makes me feel small and treasured, which as someone over 6 foot is a very unusual feeling!
We go on our first trip away together this weekend 
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