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Would you rather have a relationship for the rest of your life with lots of highs and lots of lows, or be single for the rest of your life?

(112 Posts)
Dr1ppin Sat 05-Sep-20 22:11:46

Just that really. Highs are amazing, lows are pretty unbearable. Or be single forever?

OP’s posts: |
category12 Sat 05-Sep-20 22:14:04

Single, no brainer.

dudsville Sat 05-Sep-20 22:16:26

Do you mean that the cause of the highs and lows is the relationship? Then, single. I'm too old for that intense crap.

Settleandcalm Sat 05-Sep-20 22:17:23


HalloBrian Sat 05-Sep-20 22:17:41


Rollercoaster relationship would wreck me.

Single or good steady relationship, for me.

Beamur Sat 05-Sep-20 22:18:01


Nackajory Sat 05-Sep-20 22:18:51

Single definitely. Really have no time for drama these days.

museumum Sat 05-Sep-20 22:19:28

Single. No doubt.

Finkelbraun Sat 05-Sep-20 22:19:44

Rollercoaster relationships are shit. Unless you really love making yourself the centre of a drama, I guess.

DianasLasso Sat 05-Sep-20 22:19:52

Single. (And at mid-50s, that is pretty much where I am, and you know what, it's pretty damn good most of the time, even if I miss sex.)

category12 Sat 05-Sep-20 22:20:49

To expand: I've had the highs and lows in the past, and it's just exhausting and painful and confusing, and when you're out of it, you realise how mad it all was, and how bloody unnecessary.

I'd rather be on my own and not subject to the whims and swings of another human who supposedly loves me yet spends half the time hurting me.

That said, there are good relationships out there, with consistency and kindness, so it's a false dichotomy as well.

bringbacksideburns Sat 05-Sep-20 22:23:03

Depends what the Lows are? As you describe them as unbearable single seems best.

I had a relationship like that when I was 19 and had no children.
The thought of it now ... no thanks!

Northernsoullover Sat 05-Sep-20 22:25:49

when I look back at some of the highs and lows I went through I wish I could give the old me a slap. I'd rather be single.

scoobydoo1971 Sat 05-Sep-20 22:26:09

Single, no contest. Having had a few traumatic relationships in my past, I would never turn the clock back and revisit those live and learn, or so you should.

PermanentTemporary Sat 05-Sep-20 22:28:24

Following a loving marriage which was nonetheless very difficult at times due to mental illness and which ended in death; single.

Well. I have a busy sex life. But I'm not remotely ready for a relationship as such and not sure if I ever will be.

Rainbowqueeen Sat 05-Sep-20 22:28:28

Single. I deserve better than an emotional roller coaster and single is better

RaspberryToupee Sat 05-Sep-20 22:29:10

I’ve had the highs and lows. The highs only seem so high because the lows are so low. In reality, the highs aren’t that high but it just gives you something to cling to.

To answer your question - single.

PamDemic Sat 05-Sep-20 22:29:12

I've done rollercoaster and drama. The highs were amazing, but not worth it.

I'd rather be single. I think safety and warmth and kindness win every time.

Smellbellina Sat 05-Sep-20 22:30:11

Single, no question

overnightangel Sat 05-Sep-20 22:31:24

Or you could just have a relationship that doesn’t revolve round drama and find someone where you’re both happy .... the 2 you mention aren’t the only options.

user1481840227 Sat 05-Sep-20 22:52:45


The highs only feel so good because the lows feel so unbearable.

I read somewhere that it's like someone who bangs their head off the wall repeatedly and when asked why they do it they say "because it feels so good when I stop".

yesterdaystotalsteps123 Sat 05-Sep-20 22:56:03

Single. Love it.

BoogieFeet Sat 05-Sep-20 22:59:59


WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo Sat 05-Sep-20 23:00:19


In my experience, the highs get lower and shorter, and lows get longer and lower.

Alongcameacat Sat 05-Sep-20 23:00:54


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