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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

821 replies

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 19:55

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

OP posts:

Report

LemonadePockets · 05/10/2019 19:57

Oh no :(

Do you have long left on the holiday?

Pagwatch · 05/10/2019 19:57

Oh dear lord.

Can you go to a different hotel/location ?

Alwaysgrey · 05/10/2019 19:57

I’m so sorry. What an utter jerk. I’d spend as little time with him as possible. Quite why he thought bringing you away so you didn’t have anywhere to escape and ending it was a good idea. Could you head home? Or move to another room?

Pagwatch · 05/10/2019 19:57

Or could you ask him to fuck off home and take some time on your own

HappyHammy · 05/10/2019 19:58

How mean. Are you going to go home which he needs to pay for. If you want to stay he should leave.

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 20:00

We have a week left.. In a friend's apt (his side not mine)
After I broke down he tried to hug me and said 'he hated seeing me like this'??? I told him to go out.. He's out.. I'm?.. Literally feel dreadful😢

OP posts:

Whoops75 · 05/10/2019 20:00

Tell him to get his own room and you’ll see him in the taxi to the airport.

I would go online and see if you can move seat in the plane. Have someone pick you up and bring you home.

He’s an asshole and doesn’t deserve to comfort you after he has broken your heart.

joystir59 · 05/10/2019 20:02

Can you get back home to family and friends- get ex dp to pay for your travel?

Singlenotsingle · 05/10/2019 20:02

There's not much advice anyone can give, but I'm so sorry. (Maybe a kick up the bum?)

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 20:02

I know it may sound mad to some but we had a great relationship.. In my eyes anyway, a few issues but nothing that I didn't think could be worked through..and certainly nothing that would have indicated we shouldn't have come abroad together? I can't believe this is happening

OP posts:

joystir59 · 05/10/2019 20:03

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

RandomMess · 05/10/2019 20:04

He is a selfish idiot, why on earth would anyone think it's ok to do this!!!

Pagwatch · 05/10/2019 20:04

I’m so sorry - you must be bewildered.
The fact that he has done this is at least a good indication of what a dick he is so, whilst it’s obviously distressing, that must help dampen the idea of him as s life partner.

Is there a way you can get him to leave or move somewhere else. Id honestly be out by now in a hotel or somewhere

madcatladyforever · 05/10/2019 20:05

What an absolute bastard, what a horrible thing to do, an example of utter twatery. You are better off without this kind of man in your life. See it as a lucky release.
So sorry though you must be devastated.
So how does he think this holiday will go? Does he still expect to sleep with you until you go home.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 05/10/2019 20:06

Can you go home? Do you want to?

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 20:08

I feel absolutely shell shocked.. he casually said 'he hadn't been happy for a while'.. So I said instead of coming on holiday why didn't you speak to me? He says he hoped the holiday would help and that we needed a holiday. All he's done is barely acknowledge me and I've become so stressed and upset over it, it's come to a head.
Like I said a couple of issues but not anything that couldn't be discussed and sorted.
Basically in his head he's known how he feels and it appears I'm the last to find out

OP posts:

OhioOhioOhio · 05/10/2019 20:08

That sounds awful.

crybaby157 · 05/10/2019 20:10

So sorry OP, that sounds like a dreadful shock. I've no useful words of advice, but I'm thinking of you

ChristmasFluff · 05/10/2019 20:10

It's not you, it's him

It takes a special kind of person to do something like this. A person who not only doesn't care about someone else's feeling, but who actively seeks out hurting them at their most special time.For fun.

Look up Survivors of Sociopaths on Facebook. It will explain it all

Honeyroar · 05/10/2019 20:11

Oh no, that's an awful place to break up. Is it just the two of you in the apt or is his friend there too? Are there any spare bedrooms that one of you can move into? Any way of changing your return flight?

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 20:11

Sorry I'm awful at quoting names but I'll try and respond as best I can. Do I want to go home.. Yes and no. I've worked 9 months with hardly any time off, I've been looking forward to this for so long and he knows it. So even though I'm distraught I'm also of the mindset I deserve some time and will spend the next week as much on my own as I can.. Writing that breaks my heart.. There's a man out in a bar that I'm totally In Love with and he clearly doesn't feel the same

OP posts:

rhubarb39 · 05/10/2019 20:14

Thanks Christmas I will
Honey thank you, Its just us, I can sleep in another room so unless he suggests going home early I'll stay put

OP posts:

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Gileadisreal · 05/10/2019 20:15

That's awful, poor you. Look, I would just book a flight home and consider your options from there. You're not going to have a nice, relaxing holiday there with him are you? And you've still got the time off work. Let him enjoy his much needed holiday, and his apparent much needed space. Alone.
What a dickhead he is.

VenusTiger · 05/10/2019 20:17

What an immature knob! So, he couldn’t wait a week longer?
Has he done this because he knows now that you’ve no one to go to for support? That you can’t walk out for some space?
Sorry that you’re going through this OP. I think you should leave him there and get back home and sort yourself out while you’ve got the chance.

HappyHammy · 05/10/2019 20:18

Move all your things into the spare room and keep away from him. See how you feel tomorrow. Maybe he will get a flight home tomorrow.

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