So my other half has 3 children from. His first marriage and a under 1 year old with me. He is self employed in a field related to his hobby.
(background as relevant)
When I fell pregnant, he was very happy, we discussed how childcare etc would work as he is on a low wage. He wanted more children. We agreed to split the childcare three days and four. I would do compressed hours and do four days childcare and he would do the other three. This didn't happen as he was panicking about it so bbay does 1 day childcare, 2 days with him during the day (only till 3 pm) then rest of the time with me including all evenings. Its exhausting as I do 10 hour days and then a short extra day to make up my hours so u earn enough. I went back to work early from mat leave due to money also. Its fine but it isn't what we agreed.
Basically, he never has money he complains how he can't work enough due to childcare. I've offered to arrange more childcare with our childminder but he says that I don't mean it and will resent him for it and he can't afford it if I do.
He says the house I bought for us cost too much so his living costs are too much. He used to live at home for free and I temporarily moved in when pregnant for a short period while we were buying. The house I've bought is rent and mortgage free. We each pay under 450 a month for the running of the house and childcare costs. The rest of his money is his to spend, plus pay debts etc.
He bought a second hand car as his old one 20 years old broke down beyond repair. A relative offered him a different car but it broke down a lot and was dangerous for the kids to be in. Apparently I made him buy the car and he can't afford it (I didn't, I just pointed out he needed a car to do school runs and for baby which wouldn't break down once a week). He bought a cheaper but reliable car. I bought the 6 seater as more expensive and less economical so we have a vehicle to take all the kids - he doesn't like them.
I've said if he's struggling he could change jobs, to anything tbh and he would have a stable income. He says he loves his job and won't do it and shouldn't have to.
Is it me or is he de facto blaming me and baby for his situation?! I don't think his living costs are high and are low to normal, Ive offered solutions but get told I don't mean them or he can't afford it.
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Relationships
Being balmed is getting exhausting... Or aibu
Spanglyprincess1 · 21/05/2019 05:53
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