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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

986 replies

DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 16:10

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!
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DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 16:11

Just starting the thread off...

Who was it that hadn't slept with their iron for 3 months (sorry on phone so can't scroll!). I would be climbing the walls! Good luck for tonight!

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DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 16:13

ap69 that is a horrible thing for him to do but definitely don't think it's anything to do with you. He's a love bomb ghosting twat and nothing more to it than that.

Good luck for everyone with their dates this weekend!

leigh at least you started it and can snooze and unsnooze when you want. I am also hidden on tinder at the mo

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likeridingabike · 01/12/2018 16:13

Checking in, I have absolutely nothing to update 😕

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wishywashy6 · 01/12/2018 16:17

@Ap69 I never had an issue chatting with anyone on WA before meeting (was talking to my BF on there for about a month before we met!), can always block them if you get fed up of them!
The pics/ romantic bollocks/ pet name thing would have had my alarm bells ringing though!
Anyway, onwards and upwards! ☺️

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DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 16:25

molly the tinder app can be buggy. You need to close it then reopen it and the messages usually appear

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MadCatEnthusiast · 01/12/2018 16:39

Hi, just joining the thread! Grin -waves-

I've been on bumble for a couple of weeks now but nothing has really happened

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MollysGirl · 01/12/2018 16:57

Argh now I’m locked into one chat

If I delete & re-install will I lose all my other chats????

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scotgal2017 · 01/12/2018 16:57

Just checking in for new thread!

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TooOldForThis67 · 01/12/2018 17:04

Daffo - loving the Meeeee in the title!

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ceecee32 · 01/12/2018 17:16

Hi everyone - new to this thread and after some advice (or just agreement with what I am thinking)

Joined OLD on and off over the years - gave up and had a sort of relationship with someone I met in real life. That has ended and he was OLD so I thought what was good for him and all that.
Finally got chatting to someone who looked OK and lived near me. He has been divorced for 12 years and lived alone since. I have been divorced and lived alone for longer so I thought we might have been on the same page.

Arranged to go for a drink today at 4pm. Got a text this morning saying that noon would be much better for him - he doesn't usually do 4 or 5 o'clock as he is usually pissed by then !!

Rearranged to meet next weekend for an lunchtime and since then I have given it some thought. If he cant be bothered to stay sober for a few hours then what is the point of meeting him at all.

There is a bit of me that says there is no harm and I might make a new friend but he certainly doesn't seem like relationship material. If I cancel now, would you say why? Or shall I go and see if we have a good afternoon and a laugh

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wishywashy6 · 01/12/2018 17:53

@ceecee32 oh wow at least he's honest I suppose! Does sound like a bit of a red flag tbh, I mean does that mean he's off his face by tea time every day? Or just on a weekend? Either way if he couldn't be bothered staying sober to meet you it doesn't make a great impression does it?

It's up to you though, if you think he maybe has some redeeming qualities it might be worth the meet just to judge better. It could have just been a poor attempt at humour on his part 🤷🏼‍♀️

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wishywashy6 · 01/12/2018 18:04

@ceecee32 meant to say also, you're not obliged to give any explanation if you do decide to cancel but if you want to then yes, I'd be honest about the fact he can't/ doesn't want to stay sober for a few hours and how you find that quite unappealing!

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Chocolate123 · 01/12/2018 18:05

@ceecee32 definitely a red flag sounds like a common thing with him. I personally wouldn't get involved and say politely thanks but no thanks

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Koko12 · 01/12/2018 18:09

ceecee common sense would say not to go but if it was me I know I probably would give him the benefit of doubt and go anyway just to see.Although every time I give people the benefit of doubt it comes back to bite me in the arse!

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shitwithsugaron · 01/12/2018 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shitwithsugaron · 01/12/2018 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickenfanette · 01/12/2018 18:15

Hi all, new to OLD and have found it a mixed experience so far! I do wonder what the matter is with some people - recently someone “favourited” me, I had a look at his profile and thought he looked quite nice so “favourited” him back, then when I went to message him found he’s blocked me Confused - luckily I have a thick skin! Grin The irony is his username referred to him being a genuine gentleman...

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ceecee32 · 01/12/2018 18:38

Thanks everyone - yes I think its a red flag that he cant stay sober enough to meet me. But - I also think that men on their own for a long time can get into the habit of going to the pub.
I am in two minds to be honest whether to meet him and just be prepared to meet a drunk and then at least I will definately know that he is yet another waste of space
At least I have a week to decide

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likeridingabike · 01/12/2018 18:47

Married man messaged me earlier, looking for "friends and fun" 🤮 there must be women who respond or presumably they wouldn't bother.

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MadCatEnthusiast · 01/12/2018 19:12

the phrase 'friends and fun' isn't entirely enticing Confused

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likeridingabike · 01/12/2018 19:26

madcat Grim isn't it.

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WaitingforMrHardy · 01/12/2018 19:34

Off out tonight for a 3rd date with Mr E. I have engineered a visit to his Blush in my defence I haven't had sex in a looooong time

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DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 19:48

molly don't delete it. Just close the app and reopen. If you're on an iPhone just swipe it up or an android just close the open window. Then I find when I reopen them I appear.

Date with MrCantRememberWhatICalledHim Lovely - lots to talk about BUT he was 2 stone heavier than pics. WHY DO MEN DO THIS! And even worse mid meal Mr Disappearing started messaging me argh!

Will probably see MrFattyBumBum again but not sure a relationship will come of it...

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DaffoDeffo · 01/12/2018 19:48

I appear GrinGrinI mean they (the messages) appear

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MadCatEnthusiast · 01/12/2018 19:49

waitingformrhardy Good luck with Mr E ! I'm sure we can all empathise in times like this for sure

Meanwhile, tonight I'll be swiping guys well out of my league but at least it's fun Grin

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