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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

My ex is back in contact

218 replies

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:15

Hello long time lurker but decided to post for advice. Please be nice to me!

OP posts:

Report

Bant · 15/01/2017 22:18

You've really got to give more details than that

RacoonBandit · 15/01/2017 22:18

You do have to give us more than that OP.

NurseRosie · 15/01/2017 22:19

In my experience, an ex is an ex for a reason. More detail would help though.

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:20

Sorry posted too soon. When i was younger and on a student placement i fell for an older married man. Im not proud of the fact he was married btw. We were together secretly for 2 years and he was brilliant with my son who was a toddler. As time went on i realised he wouldnt leave his wife and we split up. That was 10 years ago and my life has moved on. Ive done well in my career and private life

OP posts:

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:22

Im fairly new to facebook and last night he contacted me asking me how i was and how much he missed our time together etc. I havent replied but im so tempted

OP posts:

Bant · 15/01/2017 22:23

Is he still married?

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:24

No they split 7 years ago they didnt have kids.

OP posts:

Bant · 15/01/2017 22:25

And what's your situation?

Maudlinmaud · 15/01/2017 22:25

Ignore.

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:28

Im single. I loved the time we had together and hes a good person despite him being married at the time. I dont feel i can ignore the message

OP posts:

CanarySong · 15/01/2017 22:29

He's not a good person.

And he's probably on a fishing expedition, casting a line out to all his exes to see who bites.

chocolatespiders · 15/01/2017 22:31

Don't flatter him by replying.. he didn't want a proper relationship with you all of those years ago so don't give him one now

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:31

I dont think its that canary.

OP posts:

RacoonBandit · 15/01/2017 22:31

So don't ignore the message.
Just remember this man not only lied to his wife for 2 years but he led you and your child down the garden path.

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:32

I know but things arent always black and white. Were both older now with more life experience. I know he felt guilty for cheating on his wife

OP posts:

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:33

I knew he wasnt leaving his wife for me racoon

OP posts:

HeddaGarbled · 15/01/2017 22:33

He was married. You were young and a student on placement in his workplace. He used you for sex with no intention of leaving his wife.

Sorry, what was your question?

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:34

Hedda it was more than sex it went on for 2 years. We even went on holiday with my son.

OP posts:

RacoonBandit · 15/01/2017 22:34

So why did you stay for 2 years and why did you end it?

Still a liar and a cheat though isn't he?

RacoonBandit · 15/01/2017 22:35

We even went on holiday with my son.

Yuk.

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:35

Because he wasnt going to leave his wife

OP posts:

GrumpyInsomniac · 15/01/2017 22:36

So guilty that he managed to live with that crippling guilt for 2 whole years

Seriously, if he was any kind of decent he would have either sorted out his marriage or left his wife before getting involved with you first time around. You know from being the OW that he's a cheat. Will you ever be able to trust him if you get back together?

You're well rid. Find someone who deserves you.

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Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:37

Im curious as to what he has to say.

OP posts:

RacoonBandit · 15/01/2017 22:38

Because he wasnt going to leave his wife

So he did lead you down the garden path. You were with him 2 years and only ended it when you realised he would not leave his wife for you.

Bigfluffybear · 15/01/2017 22:38

Why yuk racoon?

OP posts:

Flip

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