Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The female 'best friend'

(193 Posts)
DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 16:58:02

Can I get your opinions on this please. I've started seeing a bloke recently. It's pretty casual but I like him. He seems to like me. I'm 35 and he's 36.

So he told me about his best friend, a female, and how they used to shag. He even got her pregnant at one point, but she lost the baby. They see each other all time, cosy pics on FB etc. She's a model (FFS!). She has a key to his apartment etc.

He also told me some story about how stupid her (fairly recent) ex was as he never realised the two of them were shagging even though it was obvious.

The whole thing has really thrown me. I don't know what to make of the 'best friend you used to shag' scenario. He said he hasn't shagged her for a while but he would say that wouldn't he? Don't know what to do now. Should I just knock it on the head? I feel like I'm going to get hurt by this..

Am I overreacting being bothered by this?

Lovingfreedom Mon 08-Jun-15 17:01:00

Female best friend in itself not a problem...even an attractive one. But the bit where he says stupid ex didn't realise they were shagging tells you what kind of person he is...dishonest and not very scrupulous. I'd ditch him.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Mon 08-Jun-15 17:07:05

He sounds like a twat and you should walk away.

badbaldingballerina123 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:09:32

She's not a best friend. She's an ex who he had an affair with.

winkywinkola Mon 08-Jun-15 17:10:29

He sounds horrible.

Tequilashotfor1 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:11:17

They are still shagging. She has the key so she can let her self straight in to his bed.

Don't even go there!

Walk away.

RubbishMantra Mon 08-Jun-15 17:13:51

He seems to be crowing a bit much over the whole thing.

MatildaTheCat Mon 08-Jun-15 17:14:15

They may not be shagging right now but I bet he's not going to say no if she gives him the nod.

Ditch, it won't end well.

SoozeyHoozey Mon 08-Jun-15 17:14:28

Knock it on the head. Don't get caught up in their weird set up. You'll just end up a casualty.

longlistofexlovers Mon 08-Jun-15 17:14:50

She's not a best friend if he shagged her. They were friends with benefits, if not in a relationship.

You don't shag genuine mates.

DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 17:17:39

that's right, I've just remembered - he said it was a friends with benefits set up with his best friend.

pictish Mon 08-Jun-15 17:17:50

Well he's certainly not a gentleman is he? I can't believe he has relayed all this to you of all people!
What did he hope to gain by it?

Skiptonlass Mon 08-Jun-15 17:17:52

Your instincts are correct. Knock it on the head.

DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 17:19:56

I think he's one of those people who likes to shock to get a reaction. he's told me loads of stories which have made me go hmm. he's very sweet and affectionate with me the rest of the time.

TheFlis12345 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:20:14

My best friend is a guy. In the 20 years we've known each other we have never had so much as a drunken snog. This sounds like one whole big mess that you would be better off out of.

Cantbelievethisishappening Mon 08-Jun-15 17:21:21

He sounds like a real catch hmm

DancingDinosaur Mon 08-Jun-15 17:22:28

My dh had a best friend with benefits. I was a bit suspicious of it all, but I've grown to really like and trust the friend. It doesn't sound good about him boasting about shagging her whilst she's with someone else though. Have you met her?

pictish Mon 08-Jun-15 17:22:51

When someone tells you who they are, listen to them.
People define themselves by the stories they tell...so he's giving you what he thinks is his best side. He's promoting the qualities he admires.
Bear that in mind when you're listening to his patter.

DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 17:23:35

Ha. I've only seen him 3 times. tbh I thought his stories were generally just bravado shite but this one has really thrown me.

DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 17:25:51

I feel like all she would have to do is click her fingers and he'll be there. all her FB pics are super sexy. all mine are boring as hell!

He sounds grim. I think pictish has it.

mojo17 Mon 08-Jun-15 17:27:25

Can you ask him why he told you
What does see happening between you two, you three and those two?

DubbyDubby Mon 08-Jun-15 17:27:37

no I haven't met her. and I don't want to now!

pompodd Mon 08-Jun-15 17:29:16

I'm astonished that you need to even ask! And I'm a man!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now