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The Dating game - welcome all daters to the DATING THREAD 70!!!

(1000 Posts)
girliefriend Thu 20-Feb-14 08:56:57

Thought it was my turn to start the thread!! grin

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 13:53:46

Hia I'm new to the thread, and new to dating actually..!!

I hope you don't mind me jumping on but something is driving me round the bend and I need a shake!

I joined match a few weeks ago, have had some chats and a date (didnt go anywhere) I was feeling all cool and casual. On Saturday night I stumbled across the profile of someone who I really liked the look of and I sent him a message. The first time I'd ever made the first move.

Anyway, I saw he'd been online and hadn't replied so I was just going to forget about it but Monday morning I got a message off him. he was nice and chatty but he said he was working abroad at the moment and communication might be a bit erratic.

I sent him a message Monday night. I was worried it was a little long but my friend said it was a good message and I should send it.

It was read almost straight away. He's been online since but ive still had no reply.

He's not going to reply now is he? Three days later?
I'm trying to resume cool and casual approach to OD but now every time I log on I am just hoping he has messages me back and I'm ignoring all the others.

I just really liked everything about his profile.

Somebody shake me!!! How do I make myself stop it? I don't even know him!

FolkGirl Thu 20-Feb-14 14:00:06

Girlie you're keen! The other one isn't full yet!! grin

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Thu 20-Feb-14 14:08:41

Lickety, I think maybe he won't reply, sorry to say it.

I think you should stop obsessing by flirting/chatting to others on the site.

You sound like you have built him up in your head as the 'perfect guy' when actually in real life he may not be.

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Thu 20-Feb-14 14:11:53

I have a date tonight! I am slightly excited about it.
With a guy I know from years back that I kept on bumping into on the street (he works near me). Anyway he emailed me out of the blue after one of those chance meetings smile

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 14:13:19

I know you're right!! I know I know.

I am obsessing.

Grrrrrrrr, make it stop!

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 14:16:54

Aw that sounds really nice fedup. We're you hoping he'd ask?

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Thu 20-Feb-14 14:24:48

Well, I've been thinking he is quite yummy, but I never in a million years thought he'd ask me out. Like I would never have made a move myself because I just thought he saw me as an old friend. Who knows what will happen (trying not to overthink it) but it's nice to have been asked out anyway if that makes sense.

On the internet dating, I have learned through brutal experience, that even if someone emails you back, or emails you first, or spends three weeks emailing you constantly, you still may not end up with a date out of it. It's frustrating but it could be due to circumstances you don't know about, his head's not in the right place, there's an ex on the scene, things are tough at work, or just there is someone else he is more interested in, even if he likes you. It sucks a bit. Internet dating is really tough I think tbh. It can be fun at times but it is tougher than people realise.

FolkGirl Thu 20-Feb-14 14:28:22

Sometimes, too, if an email is very long, they just don't know where to start with replying. You know how you read a post on here and it's just so long you don't even know where to start with a reply, so you don't?

Well it's a bit like that.

I always kept the first email short and sweet.

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 14:35:45

No no dont over think, but it sounds good!

I thought I was in the right place for OD, that I was ready to have some fun, but it doesn't feel that fun. I think maybe I'm not cut out for it.

I've only been on it a few weeks but I actually find it hard to juggle. It's like if I am talking to one guy, I cannot enter into another conversation with someone else. I need to get over feeling married. And the incessant winks and messages from 77-year-old looking so called 40 year olds.

Blossomflowers Thu 20-Feb-14 14:36:50

Hi, marking my spot.
lickety I am new to OLD but I have experienced all sorts in a short time, also not sure what site you are on but pretty sure of them say people are on line when not actually. Re not replying this just seems to happen sometimes, they are all keen and gushing and then silence, I have been talking to lots at the same time but only ever met 2. 1 not good match and 2nd yummy. But still keeping an eye on sites and such early days. God do I sound like a player now blush

Blossomflowers Thu 20-Feb-14 14:38:19

Oh and lickety just block the weirdo's, only talk to people you want to. It should be fun

lubeybooby Thu 20-Feb-14 14:38:33

Hello new thread... all rosy and lovely still chez lubes if any older-timers are out there. Still look in on you all now and then. Happy dating! (tall order I know...)

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 14:40:09

Yeah the first one was short folkgirl and very witty if I say so myself grin

Then when he replied, he asked what I do and how my Monday was going, I told him a bit about my work, told him something amusing relating to it that had appeared in the news, asked him about his work and also something about where he's from because I know it a little bit.

Maybe too many questions. Maybe too worky. Who knows. It's a shame

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 14:42:33

blossom you do make it sound enjoyable! I need to have your attitude definitely.

I thought I did and then disappearing abroad man seems to have turned my head too much

Blossomflowers Thu 20-Feb-14 14:49:53

You will get the hang of it lickety just put abroad man out of your mind, just keep at it and someone lovely will come along soon. His loss. Better to find out now he is a dick

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Thu 20-Feb-14 14:50:06

Lickety, do you know Patti, the Millionaire Matchmaker on the telly? Well she says that you always have a 'back up plan'. So you always are speaking to/chatting with/dating more than one guy. This means you do not obsess over the guy you really like. I tend to think it's good advice.

I know it sounds callous and brutal but men are callous and brutal with me all the time, so as far as I'm concerned I'm a free agent, until someone makes their intentions clear.

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 15:06:43

Yeah you're right I bet he is a right dick! Haha!

I'll go and get me a back up plan.

In general, how proactive are you on dating sites when it comes to messaging these brutal men first?

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Thu 20-Feb-14 15:07:52

I am not that proactive. That's terrible isn't it. I wait for people to approach me and then weed them out. Sort of because I've never had that much success with the people I have approached first.

Licketysplit123 Thu 20-Feb-14 15:11:43

To be honest, that's how I would be naturally inclined to play it but if it continues like this it might get a bit dull.

I got a lot of messages the first few weeks but its really petering out the last few days. It just seems to be the same oldies

Blossomflowers Thu 20-Feb-14 15:25:43

lickety I do a bit of both, if I think someone looks really hot and not contacted me ( who knows might not have seen my profile), not willing to pass on some for the sake of principle. I think it is rather old fashioned to think the man makes the first, but when I start messaging chatting I expect then to be very proactive not me chasing if that makes sense.

TheCrow Thu 20-Feb-14 16:16:23

I'm still talking to myself on the old thread, didn't realise we had a new one yet! I've only been OLD a few months, found it varies wildly between chatting to a few people you like, then being annoyed when they stop mrssaging/it fizzles out, then I get bored of seeing the same old people and can't be bothered messaging anyone, then someone will message me or a new interesting profile comes up and the cycle starts again! It still does seem like a lot of work sometimes but trying tp see it more of a bit of a diversion/entertainment and not putting too much into it.

dippinmytoe Thu 20-Feb-14 16:36:59

I have a dinner date this evening. .. is it ok to wear flat shoes? He is my height so I don't want to be wearing high shoes.

FolkGirl Thu 20-Feb-14 16:51:47

Crow That's exactly how I felt about it. Especially with the seeing it is a bit of a diversion/entertainment.

dippin I think it's fine to wear flat shoes. I always wear flat shoes and no one complained...

dippinmytoe Thu 20-Feb-14 16:55:30

Good.. I've had a hectic day and could fall asleep never mind go out ! If I wore heels I would probably fall over tonight !

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